The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about choices that we have in our life. How do we know if we are making the right choice? What if we pick the wrong path? The writer describes a feeling of chaos when he/she goes to an alanon mtg. The group mentions a path outside that will lead to a decided and peaceful spot. The writer starts walking and comes to a fork in the path and begins to worry over what the right choice will be in order to get to the peacefulness described by the group members.
He/she ultimately decides to go left and finds the beautiful spot in the woods. When describing to the group, he/she is told that either way would have resulted in the peaceful place. The writer realizes that regardless of our choices, our HP is there to guide us to where we need to be.
I was talking w a friend recently about our failed marriages/relationships. Theres so much grieving associated when a relationship ends and we both were struggling with it. After some time I started to realize that maybe I would have continued to start stay had I not a connection w God of my understanding. I appreciate the final quotation from Having Had a Spiritual Understanding which states: Any way I choose, my Higher Power is choosing for and with me.
Good morning Mary and MIP! Thank you for your service and the daily for today. I love that readings seem to line up with where I am or what I am pondering. BR (Before Recovery), I spent lots of time contemplating, analyzing, researching, stressing, etc. over decisions and choices. I was so concerned about making the wrong choice that I kind of missed all 'that is' during my extensive process. I still consider the facts I know, but I do not spin myself into a tizzy fit today. I believe it's partially because I do trust the God of my understanding to lead me where I need to go (even when/if I make a wrong turn) and I no longer concern myself with perfection.
I try to keep my life simpler today, and that includes my decisions and choices. I accept I am going to make mistakes and that's expected. In accepting and embracing my own 'human state', I have so much more acceptance and grace for others and their 'human state'. Today, when I state a simple phrase, such as Life is Good I mean it - deep down, inside and all around. It really is!
I am grateful that the extensive obsessing I lived with over so many things for so much time has been replaced with a faith in a HP, a willingness to live One Day at a Time and a desire to be of service to self/others. It's a freedom I never knew could be. I am headed out shortly to golf, then we celebrate the birthday of my youngest little person followed by some Sunday Night Football! What a Great Way to Spend the Day! (((Hugs))) - make it a great day all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you both for sharing today... this is something that I sorely needed.
Love this:
"Any way I choose, my Higher Power is choosing for and with me!"
This reminds me greatly of my Catholic upbringing (in a good way, LOL!) - specifically, a line in The Lord is My Shepherd psalm:
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."
I could interpret 'Evil' as the addiction, as my fear of... whatever - being alone, growing old alone, raising kid on my own, that I am not good enough, that I can never do it, etc. The 'valley of the shadow of death' as the period of deep soul-sorrow that comes with losing my life-partner; my marriage of 29 years. Yes, even now it crops up into my thoughts... Oct 15th is the marriage anniversary... it is always a tough day.
This was good for me today. I am forever grateful, Mary & Iamhere!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I don't think I had choices when i first came into Alanon. I don't think my picker was broken. I don't think I had one. People talk about the boundaries in our FOO. I found boundaries hard to pin down. I thinkI had formed barriers against the world- with black and white thinking.
I have been married now for 36 years. it seems amazing! There was very stormy weather there- for the first 30 years or so... like attracts like... not unusual...
In my twenties I had a series of girlfriends- who got more any more challenging. Two had done jail time. Being the goody-two-shoes I am I have not forgotten them; or the others and am still friends with two or three. I was lucky enough not to start a family- at that stage- or that would have complicated things heaps and heaps more.
I like the idea of whim, and fancy, as well as choice. I think I was always afraid of making mistakes- and had lost the basis of learning. I think a lot about learning, and education- even today... somethings I have had to learn- at a very fundamental level- for obvious reasons.
Being in the company of Alanon is a great source- knowing that I am not alone, in these issues, is healing and reassuring.
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Hi Mary, Iam and P&P,