The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 9/23, speaks about the authors character defect of responding in kind-insults with insults, rudeness with rudeness, etc. But they learned they could choose to respond with courtesy, and detach from the negative behavior. They did not have to lower their own standards.
The reminder is of the slogan, Let it Begin with Me.
Quote: My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitudes and feelings. If I am always reacting, then I am never free.
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I have known many people, related and not, who behave in kind. I like the authors plan of trying courtesy and detaching. It reminds me of turning the other cheek and/or the Golden Rule: Treat others as you wish to be treated. Lyne
Good Morning Lynn I never thought about responding differently.
Entering alanon, I did begin To see how "Reacting' was truly giving my power away so I prayed and ASKED FOR guidance in changing. TODAY i NO LONGER React-- thanks TO LEARNING tO RESPOND using detachment and the slogans
Thanks for your service Lyne
Good morning MIP and happy Monday! Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you and Betty for your shares and ESH. I can readily own today that I was all about the 'good fight' BR - Before Recovery...I certainly would respond in kind and in retrospect, often was the instigator of sarcastic, louder than needed, emotional 'exchanges'. I didn't view 'it' that way until recovery suggested I learn to focus on me, examine my own thoughts and feelings and then explore why I act and react the way(s) I do.
I learned a ton about me and fear. Fear of loosing, fear of failure, fear of being LTP - Less Than Perfect. My ego and false pride so wanted to blame the disease and the diseased for my own thoughts, feelings, actions, etc. - my biggest form of denial. Today, I know better - I am 100% responsible for my emotions, my reactions, my words, my joy and most of all, my peace of mind.
I love our tools which allow me to respond as I need to instead of how I want to. I love that I find today that the best response to insanity is often no response at all, but instead a simple prayer for other(s). I embrace that being a right-fighter and wanting to be right are not healthy for me and my growth in recovery - instead, these are old habits that stunt my forward growth. Lastly, I am thrilled that I only have to live this one day, being as authentic as possible and using my tools to keep my serenity and joy!
The sun is shining brightly here and we've got true fall temperatures on this first day of fall - it's in the 50's. We opened the windows last night - Love, Love, Love window weather! We had almost 6 inches of rain over the weekend, so I am opting out of golf and gifting myself with an easy day! I am feeling extremely grateful for the life I have today, including my MIP family...make it a great day! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My most favorite time of the year!
Of course, Happy Spring, David & all you Southern Hemi's!!
I have found that when I sit in the "poor me chair," I tend to respond in kind. You hurt me, well, I'll show you!
What a terrible way to live, IMHO!! That is why I feel it is important for me to work on the steps that keep me away from martyrdom. It is a very egocentric way of thinking for me... and for some reason, so easy for me to fall back into... not good!!
I love the saying, "Let It Begin With Me!
We have a couple more days of triple digits here, but then rain is forecast for the remainder of the week! JOY!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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