The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have had a love-hate relationship with my higher power... well just surges of anger and old gunk surfacing- and getting in the way of my vision...
Sometimes i took down the first word- in the serenity prayer- and made it a direct petition. Sometimes I replace the first word with the word "please". Sometimes I was desperate. Very rarely was I complacent. But the serenity prayer, like my daily readers, became like rag dolls, that I carted everywhere... ...
...in this world, people very rarely get to see the inside of other people's worlds. No idea. Sometimes, in some families, I sense this is achieved. A deep intimacy- which tis practised day by day- week by week- precious...
...I believe that many of us manage to achieve this empathy inside of the rooms. We cannot fail to be touched by the sharing. This seldom fails to show "old stuff" up for what it is. Just old stuff. And it helps to direct our thoughts and emotions, going forward.
I decided to do the steps- like the numbers on the clock. I have done the steps formally five or six times. And wrestled with them in between times. I did not like the idea of reaching step 12- like standing on a high dive. So I chose the clock model.
Step One insight tells me to ~go easy~...
this month I am standing for our town council [our community board]. We badly need a new Memorial Hall. At our public presentation last week- I spoke -off the cuff- a product of years and years of confident sharing, in the rooms.
And I think now of my first step one. And a of sense gratitude at what was achieved! No longer alone... ...
Last night three grand-daughters had a sleepover here- and we watched the World Cup rugby. Being an old farmer- I am always up early- getting a good start to the day. A lovely vantage to share from. No fluster and flurry.
Mmmmmm the benefits of 12 Step recovery. ...
-- Edited by DavidG on Saturday 21st of September 2019 07:25:16 PM
Thank you for this share David. I love this idea of 12 steps 24/7 reminder with a clock. It really does bring more mindfulness in the present and will help me focus on the program in all of my affairs.
I really enjoyed the message of this post today. Thank you David!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((((David))))) Ho`o maika`i ...Blessings for that inspiration which I will take with me to the morning meeting. Yesterday a local old timer brother gave a similar what I know as a "sponsor like share" at our morning meeting by the bay. He covered what it was like, what happened and what it is like now and I am more blessed as I feel the same after reading your post. Akua will consider your ESH and the position you know your need to take in service to your community. Sending prayers for it from Hilo.
David - I thank you for your share. It took me a long while in recovery to realize I had a resentment against the God of my youth! I don't really know why it didn't 'pop' sooner but it did not - most likely fear from the religious teachings of my youth - just not sure and that's not what's important.
I was in a step study about 10 years ago, and we were using an unofficial guide to step work - not CAL and not at a meeting location. It was a small group of women, and another shared that her primary resentments were for God. It gave me cause for pause and sure enough- I did too.
I wrote about it in great detail and then went and did my 5th step with a minister from a completely different organized religion. I was fortunate this minister was also in recovery so understood the premise of the 5th step. We talked it through and this helped me greatly - not only to let go of the past conceptions of the God of my youth as well as the religious teachings of my youth but also to give me complete freedom in define the God of my understanding for me/growth/healing/recovery.
I hear you and so can relate. I love how our recovery allows us to keep moving forward even if/when we are uncertain about some thing or things! Grateful you are part of my MIP family!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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