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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Getting squirrely
Post Info TOPIC: Getting squirrely
Aloha


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Getting squirrely
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When I'm getting squirrely I know that it's because I'm starting back down that path of self-will again.

Let me preface this with the fact that I don't have any high drama going on in my life. If anything, this is to prove to others than even when you think all your problems are solved - you're not around active alcoholism, or that boss who's such an a$$ has finally quit, or your kids got into recovery... that STILL we can find things that will start to tip us over the edge.

I've been getting myself all anxious over a lot of little things.

I'm going to be traveling for the weekend and I want to figure out some activities I could do while I'm out.

Tomorrow I'm also going on a hike with a friend and I read online that the trailhead has limited parking and if you park on the road near the parking area you'll get a ticket... so there's a "free shuttle"... somewhere... but I can't find out where that shuttle leaves from. All the info is vague. So I called and left a message with the local town's police station to ask if they can shed some light on this mysterious free shuttle for me. So I'm waiting and getting anxious, and then part of me is wanting to get resentful at my friend because she's not offered to help at all with the planning.

I'm running a campaign on social media for the month of September for artists and I keep feeling like I need to keep my eye on it consistently and do "more". It's not getting the kind of traction I feel like it should be getting, and then I'm shaking my finger at God because, after all, God gave me this whole inspired idea and I decided to run with it so why isn't it doing something fantastical and magical??

I need to clean up my place before I head out of town for the weekend.

I need to pack.

I need to remember to ask my roommate to water the plants.

I need to rinse off all my harvested tomatoes that are getting ripe that I won't get around to eating while I'm gone and get them in the freezer (trust me, my roommate won't want to eat them.)

At work I need to completely re-work a design that I did because we found out from the printers that a portion of the design is too intricate and that the shifting registration of the printer won't support what I wanted to have happen. And on top of that we have another design that my two supervisors keep going back and forth over and changing the composition, not providing any clear direction on what they want.

So....

I'm going to take a deep breath. Maybe five or six.

I really have to "Let Go and Let God" with this. I've taken care of the necessary footwork up to this point with things. I have to trust that God's got a plan with all of this and everything is going to work out as it needs to. I don't need to make everything happen.

Often the best prayer I have for these things from the 11th step. God, show me your will and grant me the power to carry it out.

One thing I could do is remember my friend is not a mind-reader and ask her to help - call the local town and find out about that free shuttle for us. I can give her some of those tomatoes, too (even if some of them are kinda ugly).

The rest? Yep. Again. All I can say is... "God...?"

Hope to come back with an update with lots of wonderful God moments.

 



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PosiesandPuppies


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Thank you, Aloha for an insightful post!
I too, know that squirrely feeling! And I also now can recognize that it's usually b/c I am trying to direct, manage, control something (thank you Al-Anon!).

I am finding the more I try and Let Go, the happier I am... regardless of what's occurring. Not b/c it always works out in my favor, but I think it's b/c I don't spend hours/days ruminating/worrying about it! And there are times when everything just "flows." During those times, you just know that something greater than you is at work! The feeling is truly amazing!

I liked the reminder: "God, show me your will and grant me the power to carry it out." For me, it is, "HP, put me where I need to be and help me to be open, honest & Accepting of what happens!"

Through a couple Step 4's, I have learned that ACCEPTANCE is a huge deal for me. The more I Accept, the less inclined I am to feel the need to Manage/Fix/Control.

Thank you Aloha!

&

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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Freetime


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Aloha, I love how you remembered that your friend isn't a mind reader. What a coincidence -- most of my friends and relations are not mind readers either!! I have one friend that comes pretty close, because she knows me so well and we have a lot of similarities. Actually it's a good thing that people can't read my mind. It's hasn't always been a safe place -- much better now with Al-Anon, but still, Parental Guidance Suggested.

I hope your hike is wonderful, and that if any parts of the trip don't go as expected, that they turn into fun stories you can tell in the future -- "Remember that time we missed the shuttle bus but then a cool thing happened..."

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SerenityRUS


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Ohhh have a nice trip and enjoy!!!!

The whole letting go is really kicking my butt this week so I'm just trying to take it moment by moment.

Hugs S :)

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

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Iamhere


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Aloha - what a great, revealing, honest share.....I hear you loud and clear and can so relate to what happens to me (or can happen) when I am leaning towards my will vs. rolling with God's will. It is the details that can bring out the devil in me and agree with your plan completely. I am amazed that one of the first suggestions I got, just to breathe - in/out - deeply if possible is still often a great place to start my realignment with program/HP.

I hope you have a wonderful trip and a lovely hike! I too look forward to hearing about any miracles you witness/experience on your journey. (((Hugs))) - thanks for the share!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
JerryF


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I love this squirrely post because the process of getting thru it is clear to me and I love the two variations of third step prayer that makes praying it more inviting.  I am reminded of a support my program gave me that after talking it out I will usually reminded of an acceptable solution.   Maika`i !!  be blessed.   ((((Hugs))))) wink



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Jerry F
Aloha


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Thanks everyone for your shares and support :)

Just to recap - this is how things went after I vented and then remembered to hand things over to God:

I contacted my friend and asked her to get the trail details for me and she did, quite quickly. We also ended up with a couple more friends joining us on the hike, so that was fantastic (the more the merrier, in my book!)

I was reminded at my job that the two designs I was fretting over don't need to be wrapped up until the end of this month. Huzzah!

My social media campaign for artists has suddenly taken a life of its own and it's doing its fantastical magical things I was wondering about (maybe yes it's because I did a paid promotion for it, too, but sometimes even THOSE don't help, so I know God's working the magic)

All my "need to's" got taken care of. I was still a bit tired by the end of the day Friday, but having all that taken care of allowed me to be able to take my time the following morning and enjoy my drive up to the mountains, enjoy time with my friends out in nature, and enjoy my little mini vacation, where I walked around town, took a scenic drive, did some drawing, and spent a lot of time practicing gratitude.

My hour-and-a-half drive both up and down from the mountains was also pleasant and stress-free. I listened to a great audiobook called "The Gratitude Jar" by Josie Robinson and felt inspired.

God works - just gotta remember to ask for HELP and when I do, to let go afterwards and let everything unfold.

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PosiesandPuppies


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Brilliant update, Aloha!!
Thank you for bringing the HOPE!!

It works if you work it!

&

__________________

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
bud


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Thank you for your inspiring shares and great program work!

Keeper > "God works - just gotta remember to ask for HELP and when I do, to let go afterwards and let everything unfold." Going to meditate on this daily.

Sending continued positive thoughts for a great time!

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Iamhere


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Aloha - thanks for posting the update and so, so happy to hear how wonderful all turned out!!! Your post gave me God (goose) bumps as I so, so agree - it's amazing what happens when we get out of the way and let God do for us what we can't do for ourselves....(((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Maresie888


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I feel distinctly squirrely today because I.am still dealing with a difficult work situation. It is hard not to get bogged down in it. These days I have more options but t hff e options are still hard choices My naivete and wanting a soft landing has landed me in some difficult places for sure Maresie

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