The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about the three A(s) - Awareness, Acceptance and Action. Often when we have problems or changes in our lives, we experience awareness. Acceptance follows, and then action. We often experience discomfort with new found awareness, and most of us are eager to spare ourselves this discomfort. Yet, until we accept the reality that we are facing, we probably won't be capable of taking effective action with confidence.
We may hesitate to accept an unpleasant reality because we feel that by accepting, we are condoning something intolerable or unacceptable. This is not so - in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (ODAT), "Acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation. It means accepting the fact of a situation, then deciding what we will do about it." Acceptance empowers us to make possible choices clearly.
Reminder: I will give myself time to accept my situation before I act. Unforeseen options can become available when I accept what is.
Quote from Thomas Jefferson: "For her we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead."
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Before recovery, I was propelled to action without taking proper time to accept what was around me. Many of my choices were based on emotion vs. fact and at the center was my own wants/needs/ego.
Focusing on me in my recovery vs. all that was around me gave me awareness about me that was new/hidden/unknown. Today, I spend more time in awareness so I can find the reality and facts and not just what my fear, heart and mind 'see'. Al-Anon has given me the ability to see the authentic imperfect me, and to accept that. Al-Anon has also given me equal awareness about all others - also imperfect - which allows me to live one day at a time, practicing unconditional acceptance and love.
Acceptance doesn't ever excuse bad behavior but it allows me the freedom to step back and let natural consequences happen. Acceptance doesn't mean living in miserable conditions, yet it allows me to make choices rationally that are best for my life/scenario. As mentioned in the AA Big Book, Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today..."
Happy Thursday MIP! I am off to the golf course, and weather permitting, fall softball starts tonight. Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I hope today is brighter for you Betty, and you were able to remember your friends w/warmth and love.
I love the three A's! Much like the three C's, they are essential!!
I found that I did not "Do" the three A's in any type of order... therefore, I lived a good portion of my life avoiding Acceptance. And then I was confounded when my Actions towards the "Awareness" didn't quite work for me! LOL! I can look back and chuckle now.... because I know better, I mostly do better.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Prayers to you Betty and the many families and loved ones. I remember clearly watching the towers fall and the news casters state that planes were dropping from the sky ...
Right now, I've cycled back to struggling with acceptance. With the help of Alanon, I lean into the amazing fellowship and take a pause. I started praying a lot more and doubling up on F2F meetings, using the phone list, and MIP. Perhaps, I do accept deep in my heart, and what I feel is grief. I see my progress as I pause before taking action. HP, move me to where you want me to be... I know this is the best place for me.
(((Betty))) - I can not imagine what the grief and sorrow is for those who live/love NY and lost so much on that horrible day....I am far removed geographically and my heart gets super heavy as the anniversary approaches and arrives. Know that I am sending you and all extra special healing thoughts and prayers. My sadness is great and I suspect it's much, much greater for you! You are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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