The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a focus on self care: what it means to us, the importance of it, and how our idea of what it is may change as we practice recovery in the program.
The sentence that stands out to me from this page is: The more I work my program, the more I come to understand that I am rebuilding my relationship with myself. For me this is exactly right. Ever since coming to alanon I have been repeatedly asking the question.. who am I? The writer notes that for many of us, self care has meant taking care of ourselves, but with other people in mind. For a lot of us who grew up in or have lived with alcoholism, self worth takes a hit and self care right along with it.
I recently talked to my sponsor about how there has been a change for me since I was divorced in terms of open time. I dont have a lot of it, as the majority of time my children are with me in my house. Early on after the divorce, any time the kids were out of the house, especially for a rare overnight w their dad, I was almost panicked at the idea of open time. What would I do with it? I had to make lists of things to do. From the smallest most menial chores to big projects, I had to know that there was plenty to do (to keep myself from thinking about the open ended time to myself). As time has gone on, I have become a lot more at ease with just having time to myself. It still doesnt happen often, but when it does I have found myself able to enjoy it and not feel that I have to run away from the thoughts in my head. This has been a way that I have experienced some growth in self care.
On another side of this, I have found that when asked about something I do not want to do or am not comfortable with, I can say no without having to give eighteen explanations of why Im saying no. For me this is another way to practice self care.
I hope that everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday and has a chance to practice self care today:)
Good Morning Mary I can so identify. Learning how to focus on myself, support my causes , and appreciate "alone" time has been my growing goal since I started in program. Examining my motives, and detachment helps in this process.
I love the topic of self-care because we are weary of trying to take care of others, who don't necessarily want to be taken care of....or it's none of our business anyway! There are so many ways I try to practice self-care and I find if I "check in" with myself on how I'm feeling and what I am in the mood for or not....what feels right for me....it leads me to some form of self care.
I can really relate to your last comment about being able to say no without giving 18 explanations why you are saying no. I have come a long way with that and still have a lot of practice left. However, I feel very proud of myself when I don't JADE all the time.....like I used to. You are right.....it's self care!
Thank you Mary for your service!
I do so love this topic. Who wouldn't, right? All about us...what we need, what TLC looks like for US.
Well, I found that self-care was something that I always put on the back burner (for another time - except rarely did I have time for me).
I do find that the longer I am in Program, the closer I am coming to my most "authentic" self. Sometimes there are leaps in progress (I really identified with the "... 18 explanations of why I am saying "No."- I don't do that anymore), and sometimes the growth is one slow step at a time! I think that arguably, Acceptance has been the biggest benefit of this program for me - I can accept my growth comes in cycles. It's OK.
I am feeling the "itch" to create some art... that will be my self-care today.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I'm still in the process of learning what self-care is and how to give this to myself and show up for myself. A lot of pause to identify what it is that I need and then affirm I am worthy and deserving of that and more. Some times it's as simple as me saying "no", sometimes it's maintaining effective boundaries, some times it's going to meetings and asking for help.
Happy Sunday MIP! Thank you Mary for your service and the daily.....we had this very topic - self care - at my meeting this morning. While I am far from perfect at all things recovery, I do now that my best days are those where I take some time each morning/day to do what works for me - prayer, meditation, exercise, literature, interaction with another in recovery, etc. When I step away from my routine, I am putting my serenity and joy at risk and I try hard not to do so!
Self-care doesn't have to be complicated or extensive - I just need to remind myself each day that I matter, am loved and trust in the God of my understanding. When uncertain, pausing to pray before proceeding provides me with a good idea of what's next...keeping life simple is a great tool for me for my self care.
Happy Sunday - I went to a meeting, the golf course, cooked big brunch, took a nap and am just relaxing! Our nice weather continues - what a great gift to have window weather in August. Prayers for any who are in the path of the hurricane...positive energy sent your way!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
self care...? Would I use a topic- to upload my current worries and issues! I might... might depend on the chair- and i I knew that the person was up for this! And that would put my plan into action!
Self care can be expanded in too mental health, emotional health... maintaining contact with other people. Also eating well, sleeping well and having balanced exercise. Listening to music. Art. Getting along to meetings.
I am going along to a F2F meeting, at the moment. I find that the contact is worthwhile, encouraging.
Also I am standing for the town council. A town of about 5,000 people. it is a bit of a leap for me... I am actually counting on a bit more recovery- to get me across the line. [That is- if I am actually elected!]
But this share, Mary, is as good as any other meeting. I have spoken for me. I have listened to others, and learned. Got great reminders about self care... ...
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