The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Greetings all. Today's reading in courage is about what motivates our choices and our discovery process of authenticity in recovery. The writer comes to understand that fear ruled their life - Fear of saying No, Fear of showing hurt/anger, fear of being confused - and more - all held deep inside while sharing "Everything's OK" outwardly verbally and in actions....even while often plotting revenge!
The writer came to rely deeply on the first part of Step 2 - "Came to Believe...." and used it as a mantra. When the phone rang, and the thoughts of 'the worse case scenario began to rise up', the focus was replaced with "Came to Believe..."
The writer came to accept that believing in a HP helped greatly with fear and life on life's terms.
The Reminder --- Before taking any action, I need only remind myself that I am in the care of a Higher Power. Whether the words I use say, "Help!" or "Let go and let God." or "Came to believe," I know that my Higher Power and I can deal with whatever we are facing.
The quote from Alateen --- A Day at a Time --- "We turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understand Him. A Higher Power is like a frend who really cares about us and wants to share our problems.
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I too discovered a hundred forms of fear as I began working the steps in recovery. Most of my fears were based on past events or projecting negatively. There is difficulties in every life, as designed, yet I tended to make mountains out of molehills! Practicing this program, daily, one day at a time as best I can helps me stay present and ask for help when needed! I have found a God of my understanding and do feel supported, protected and loved. I no longer fear being alone or lonely as I choose to just trust what is and do the next right thing.
Love that recovery allows us to define/design a Higher Power that works for us, so long as it's not us! Self-will run riot (playing/pretending to be in charge of me) never ends well with my life and I'm grateful I don't have to do that any longer.
Happy Thursday all - already golfed and have softball later! Our heat wave is passed and I'm glad for that! Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks IAH for your service. Fear ruled my life for most of it. Fear of speaking, doing anything new, fear of rejection, fear of sounding stupid, etc. My FOO was unable to give me tools for living, but thanks to years of seeking help and now alanon, I still have fear, but it doesnt stop me. A couple weeks ago I had lunch with a friend from high school I hadnt seen since high school! Prior to alanon, I would not have had the courage and confidence to take that action. I did it! And I had fun. The gifts I receive from program I never expected. The solution I wanted from alanon, fixing my A, was not to be received. But fixing myself, oh yeah! Lyne
This day was my son's 19 birthday. Such wonderful memories of a great little tyke! As he grows into adulthood, if I am not careful, that is where my Fear lies. Luckily, like Iamhere shared, I have the tools needed to quell the fear and future projecting. I only ask that his HP walks with him (whether he knows it or not!).
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Birthday to your son PnP - hope it was a lovely day for both of you!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hui IAh Thanks for your service Before progarm i woul dhave testified that fear was NEVER a part of my life-- denial is strong. When i worked the steps and became honest wthin n i saw FEAR ruled all my choices today Hp is my go to guide
Betty - I chuckled at your post, as I could really see myself!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Great topic and one that is difficult to face with full honesty. Fear has governed my life and I know when I'm feeling fear and I know when I cave and let it run amuck... and with the Alanon tools and skills, I still feel the fear but now contain it better and tend not to be nearly as reactive.
