The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know he has a disease, but the anger, mean behavior. It's so hard not to hate this person!
He says he no longer loves me, hates me, yada, yada
I just want to scream!!
Are you still attending meetings and have you gotten a sponsor yet to start working the steps?
I heard a wonderful thing today from an alanon friend. Someone muttered to themselves, .. the program is the steps. I'm not working them. That got my friend motivated enough to start looking deeply into the steps. That's where it stops being about what the A is or isn't doing and starts being about what you are doing.
Are you working with a sponsor? Why not if you aren't, because the program is actual self work and it's a wonderful process.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Welcome back. Serenity is so correct... the Steps are the Program... the Program helps keep you sane in an insane situation!
The Steps and my sponsor helped me to keep my focus on Me. They both helped me to QTIP (quite taking things personally). Something that was so hard for me, but essential to learn!
Wishing you some peace today!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
In addition to the great posts... I remember when I was mired in the harsh and hurtful words he said. Working the steps and showing up for myself day after day, I can more easily focus on myself... when someone says harsh and hurtful words, I realize that I don't have to own them - they're not true just because someone says them - they're spoken because of someone else's issues... even when I was told I was no longer loved...
I hope this helps, keep coming back
(((Carla))) - sending you tons of positive thoughts and energy! I too remember how sharp those words flew at me and how I too just felt like it was so unfair, unnecessary and hurtful. I too, like those above, found my worth and esteem through recovery. Today, I don't take things personally and have found healthier ways to process/respond - and often, the best response to insanity is no response at all. I am forever tied to preferring to be happy/serene over being right - and loved when I first heard that what others think/say about me is not my business and how others act/speak has no reflection on me, but rather on them.
Keep coming back - you are worth it!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
