The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone! So, I decided to take the plunge into home ownership and I'm scared to death! I have never owned a home as a single; I've always been married. I went through the prequalification with a lender last week and he called me a few days ago to say, 'You can qualify for a bigger home if you want but all looks great!"
Just hearing that made my heart skip a beat because I've never done anything like this on my own. I'm actually going to be buying the condo that I'm renting and have been living in for the past year. It's small but it's cozy and I absolutely love the area and the community amenities, etc. I've been working with a realtor to just help me on my side of the transaction and she's only taking a small cut of the sale because she's my friend's mom and she's doing me a favor. But, honestly, just to know that I can qualify for a home of my own on my own merits and income was really a big deal to me. I know this won't be my forever home. I'm thinking I'll stay here for about 3-5 years depending on the housing market and where things go with my relationship (s), etc.
I have no desire to live with a man any time soon and my current bf is supportive of my decision. This is a great area with lots of new homes and shopping going up around here and I know if I wanted to rent it in the future or sell, I'd have no problem.
Anyway, I'm still thinking about all the little things i'm going to change. The lighting fixtures need to be upgraded and I want to tile the backsplash in the kitchen and then paint the wall behind my sofa in a nice deep blue!
I just felt I had to share because when I left my marriage 5 years ago, I had no career, no street smarts (or minimal anyway) about how to buy a car or a home. I have come a long way in a few years and I'm really excited to see what's ahead in my future.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
(((andromeda))) - how totally, totally awesome!!! I hear the joy in your words and my heart is smiling for you and your news! I am so proud of you and all you've done to be you - this was a great share...made my day! Enjoy every moment - even when you're ready to second guess the back-splash project, remember you own this and can take a break....it took me years to realize that progress, not perfection applies way beyond this program! I am happy to report our home looks lived in most of the time, and 'lovely' when company is coming!!! Way to go - pat yourself on the back my friend!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
This news brought a huge smile to my face... thank you for sharing your exciting news!!!
I haven't been here long enough to know your full back-story, so I am glad you added your circumstances when you started out. You have come a long way, baby! LOL! Certainly a bonifide success story!
Good luck with the closing, and I will be excited to hear about your latest house upgrade!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Congratulations!!! All the best!!! It's amazing to have such enthusiasm and excitement -- and for everyone, just imagine bringing a little bit of that to life every single day!
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
OK, so I signed the contract today. This is getting real right now! I started having all this fear out of nowhere. This really is a HUGE step for me. For so long, 20 plus years, I have been dependent on men to assist me or provide for me. This really is a big step for me as a single woman. I still can't believe I have the job I have, the benefits at work, the friends and social circle I've developed, and now a home I can own!
Seriously, 5 years ago I felt that death couldn't come fast enough. I was so tired. So tired of carrying around my EXAH's baggage and guilt trips and emotional abuse. I had no self esteem and spent years in counseling but in June 2015 my divorce was finalized and I had so many doubts. No work experience for years, dependent completely on my XAH and his income, and I felt like my life was a sham and that i had wasted so many precious years and I remember feeling like I would have nothing to look forward to since i had wasted so many years with my XAH. But, I've come to find out that it's all part of my journey. I am always right where I'm supposed to be; no question about it.
Thank you all for your support! Sending in my earnest money this weekend and then working on the finalizing of the mortgage application process as we move forward.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Woohoo - you go girl! You deserve to have what you want and it's all going to go exactly as you say - a part of your journey and right where you are supposed to be! So excited for you!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
OH, and as an aside, I just bought tickets to see The Offspring in concert next week. My favorite band of all time, lol. And, my neighbors upstairs are probably not happy with me right now because I'm blasting their music right now.
Still trying to get used to my braces so I think I'm in rebellion mode because I can't even chew green beans right now, lol!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Lol,The Offspring were my first live concert.( Well the second if you count The bloodhound gang as a band?) They popped blow up doll versions of the backstreet boys before blasting into the first set.
Really cool about the house purchase Andromeda, I've been inspired by how focused you've been in creating your life from scratch. Xxx
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Congratulations! So much progress! You have been working it, and it has been working. I'm especially glad that you recognize your own progress over the long haul.
Yes, a housewarming is definitely in the works for August some time. I am still in awe as to where my life is today. kind of worried about things at my company but trying not to focus on it because they are doing some 'realignments' in the department and no one is really clear about how this is going to pan out!
I just show up, do my job, and try to stay out of the gossip, but it's hard. Anyway, I just want to get through this week. I'm leaving Thursday night to go to Detroit to visit my bf's family and this is the one where you meet the WHOLE family, lol, so it's going to be interesting. Just super grateful I was invited and that my bf's sister has been so welcoming and wants to take me around and show me Michigan!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Sounds lovely.....have a great time and a great trip!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I feel a housewarming party coming up!! 