The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is one I refer to often and one that I share about often...referencing the 10th Step. It suggests that at times, the healthiest thing we can do is to admit that we're not perfect - just human and that we do make mistakes.
The reading suggests that it's not easy to admit this to others, especially when our mistakes affect them, but pretending something didn't happen or doesn't matter or justifying actions seems easier! Yet, there is a price to pay if we refuse to own our mistakes - guilt sets in.
The writer suggests they carried guilt around for years like a heavy duffel bag. Al-Anon offers a different way - the tenth step! We continue to take PERSONAL inventory and when wrong, promptly admit it. We take responsibility for our actions when we admit our mistakes and free ourselves from the secret. We also move closer to accepting our imperfections. It's easier to love ourselves when we accept ourselves as we truly are - mistakes and all.
Reminder --- Today, I will have the courage to look the truth in the face, admit my errors and my achievements, appreciate my growth, and make amends where I have done harm.
Quote --- from Samuel Butler --- "I care about truth not for truth's sake but for my own."
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Imperfectly perfect is a phrase I love. It describes me to a T. I didn't always feel that way - I truly thought I was deeply flawed and undeserving - after all, my life was a mess and there was chaos/drama every where! I struggled to see my part in the chaos and drama that had become my life and found it easier to blame/shame the diseased instead.
By focusing on me, I came to accept that being human means making mistakes and that's exactly how I was designed to be. I believe that unconditional acceptance of others, exactly as they are only comes when we learn to accept our own imperfect selves. That also applies to love - for my recovery, I am not able to unconditional love another until I unconditionally love myself.
The admission of being human has helped me grow spiritually. As I accept imperfections in me and all those I encounter, my trust and faith in the God of my understanding grows. I am way less 'self-reliant' and way more 'God-reliant'. It's a great place to be!!
Happy Thursday MIP family - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Although I don't remember anyone tell me that I had to be perfect....I was very hard on myself growing up when I wasn't. Even as an early - early mid age adult, I sought perfection. My house had to look "just so," I was crushed by less than perfect work evaluations, I had a very thin skin and wondered what people "really meant" when they spoke to me. I had no tolerance in myself for making mistakes, or coming across "less than."
Thankfully through age and most certainly alanon, I am ok with not being perfect. I still try to do things the "right way" and want to follow the rules to get from A-Z. However, I have lightened up big time! I am also getting better at admitting my mistakes or less than kind behavior now. I stop myself much more frequently from making excuses and justifying my actions. It doesn't fool anyone and is not mature behavior.
Here's to be imperfect and taking my own inventory and owning it!
(((Ellen))) - the golf gals I play with give me grief as I am a rule follower! I give others grief if they drive the cart where we aren't supposed to....I have totally given up on my home looking 'right' as a magazine photo - it now looks like a loved, lived-in home vs. a showcase house! Had a great day - far from perfect but lovely!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
