The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 5/6, talks about feeling intimidated by Step 5 because it means revealing ones darkest secrets to another person. The author feared rejection yet felt isolated and lonely. After sharing what they seemed most shameful, they learned that they are just like everyone else.
Reminder: Many have known shame and fear and many have known joy. Sharing mine with others today will make my ride through life a smoother one.
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I recently did step 5 with my sponsor. Although I am open about most things, even in my F2F, there are one or two things I still cant share with another person. I hope to be able to do this in the near future. I dont fear being rejected, but the shame and embarrassment factors are really high. Sometimes it feels very difficult to be a grown up! Lyne
I had some problems working Step 4 completely. So my sponsor told me to get the book "Blueprint for Progress." I did, and worked Step 4 to completion. But there was something that I was embarrassed to admit to my sponsor when doing Step 5. So I held off a bit - you know, I "Practiced the Pause." But in coming here, I have found that my feelings in regards to that embarrassing emotion was not unique to me!! That alone allowed me to move forward with my Step 5. And in turn, my sponsor shared that I wasn't alone in that feeling as well. I received validation that I wasn't a "mean" person for having that feeling... I was a damaged person... but not one that was damaged beyond repair!
So I say, find the courage to admit to those feelings/darkest secrets... set yourself FREE!
Wishing everyone a good Monday!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I am currently working through Blueprint for Progress. I have to share it yet, but will feel embarrassed and then probably relieved after I do. It is good to be reminded that our situations are not so unique and there are members who will support and guide without judgement.
Have a wonderful day. The one gorgeous day we will have this week.....sunny and low 70s. I'll take it!
Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thank you to all above me for your shares and ESH. I can honestly say that Step 5 scared me greatly when I first read it. More than likely, it had everything to do with FOO and the religious teachings of my youth. I can honestly say that I fretted about this way more than necessary and it was not as big of a deal as I 'projected' it to be!!
I don't know much but I know that when I am able/willing to work this program, as designed and as suggested, I gain more and more inner peace and freedom from the bondage of self/the past. It is working the steps that helped me truly accept and appreciate that we are imperfect humans, and we will make mistakes. The freedom I have gained from working these steps has helped me find great empathy, compassion and unconditional love and acceptance for all people. I was able to shed resentments, anger, fear, etc. because of this step and the others.
I have heard it said before, but worthy of repeating - it works when we work it!!! Just FYI - on one of my 4th steps, I realized I had a huge resentment with the God of my youth!! I shared this with my sponsor along with other items during my 5th step, yet didn't feel the freedom I expected. I actually went and found a pastor of a local church and had a deep discussion about this - basically did a 5th step with him. As I was sharing with another 'man of the cloth' and was basically understood, I then found that freedom I was looking for. My point - if you feel the need to go a different route with your 5th step, do it!! All that's required is 'another human being'. I didn't know the pastor before, and made clear I wasn't planning to join - just wanted to do some sharing...(((Hugs))) - as always, take what you like and leave the rest!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for the share. Step five was the scariest one for me because I had so many dark issues about my past both events that happened to me and things that I thought, things that I did because of that abuse and the mental illness I suffered for so long. But Sharing came little by little because I had a good sponsor who had a similar background, and that helped, and as she shared with me and validated me, I, little by little, gathered up the courage to share my deepest secrets with her. And as I shared, one by one, I felt not alone anymore. I was not unique, I was not a freak, I was just a damaged person. And I am here to fix that damage or at the very least learn how to manage it
