The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Seriously,how do you sleep?how do you just let everything go and get a full nights sleep?How do you learn to stop worrying and thinking of all the "what if's"?
It may sound like a silly question but I simply don't know how to turn it all off.I am so worn down from lack of sleep that I have been physically sick for the past 4 days at least.I'm not even sure what it is I am worrying about,there's nothing specific but rather everything and anything in general.
What helps you?I don't mean mediciations,what slogans,what steps,what thoughts?
I have a personal slogan that helps me at night: "Something good is going to happen." I find this to be true, even when bad things are happening, or I fear that they will happen. And believe me, I am a champion worrier.
There is a new Al-Anon publication, a bookmark called "Just for Tonight." I am finding it very helpful and keep it on my nightstand. Local meetings might have some of these, or can order them. The last paragraph reads:
Just for tonight: I will find a safe, comfortable place to lie down and close my eyes. I will remind myself I am both deserving and in need of rest. I will look forward to awakening to the new day, feeling rested and ready to follow my Higher Power's guidance.
Awhile ago I read a novel that included a woman who had a giant concrete hand in her yard. She would sit in it often. When a neighbor finally asked her what that was about, she said that she put it there and sat in it to remind herself that she was held in the hand of God. I have thought of that often, and when I was tormented about whether to separate from my now ex-AH, I started thinking of my bed each night as the hand of God...I could close my eyes and rest and know that I was being held. I still think of this when I get into bed and find it a comfort, and a way to let go of worrying. Im not a traditional God sort of person but somehow this image really works for me.
Nora that is a great metaphor to envision and in fact is what I do for myself and others. I know my HP is real so calling an end to the day and they lying down into the palms of my Higher Power who accepts me there willingly is where peace of mind and serenity are. I sleep and wake up with a "Thank You" gratefully. Give that one a try. ((((Hugs))))
Good question SunnyFrogs - just asking the question shows that you want to find ways to take care of yourself.
Having a happy photo by the side of my bed helps.
Thinking of people who are in a place to love and care for me and imagining their smiles as I go to sleep is something that I did when my anxiety was very high. Any happy memory helps me.
Looking at the inside of my eyelids!!! Not sure if that works for everyone but it works for me.
Giving myself at least six hours off before I have to do anything.
Doing a list of the three best things in my day.
A warm cup of herbal tea at bedtime.
A lovely bedtime story to read.
I hope you get some rest, as you know it is really worthwhile.
PS . If I really can't sleep then I sometimes get up and do something nice for an hour.
I also recite the Serenity Prayer repeatedly until I fall asleep! Gratitude lists also help, not to mention being active during waking hours vs. sitting!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
It helped me to work through the first three steps where I came to a point of understanding I was powerless over what the alcoholic was or was not going to do and that if I wanted any peace in my life, I'd have to bring the focus to me and learn to trust a power greater than myself.
The slogan "let go and let God" would then often help me because I'd remember God's got this handled.
I learned about a little pamphlet called "The Golden Key" fairly recently (by Emmet Fox - a man who inspired the founders of AA). The long and short of it is it's another way to apply Step 3 to my life - turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him. The exercise is simply this - whatever my problems, stop thinking about them and think about God instead. It's that simple. If I find myself circling back to my problems, I go back to thinking about God again.
Another exercise that has helped me many times is to pull out all my Al-Anon literature and go to the index in the back. I'd identify what I was feeling at the time and then go to the index, find writings on that feeling and then go through and read whatever I could find. The CAL would then offer me many perspectives and solutions around something in particular that was troubling me.
Other practices in more general terms that help me get better sleep:
- Get some exercise earlier in the day (outside is even better)
- Pray and meditate
- Journal
- Write a page of gratitudes
- No caffeine after noon
- No electronics (TV, computer, smart phone) two hours before bed
- Aromatherapy (lavender)
- Calm, ambient music
Exercise to release happy dopamines.
Gratitude list am and pm.
Do something that I like to do everyday. I try to give back to myself.
Epsom salt bath.
Meditation not only at night but doing 1 to 2 minutes of breathing pauses during the day.
Sometimes nothing helps and I dont sleep. I am exhausted the next day and I ride the day and get great sleep that night.
Valerian root, passionflower, In teas
Practical solution for me: I listen to a guided sleep meditation. If I'm really having trouble, I'll put one on that lasts an hour or more.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
I too utilize aromatherapy and gratitude lists right before bed.
When I could not turn my mind off, I turned to Tapping (Google it). While doing the Tapping exercise, I would start off with naming the feelings that bothered me. Since you have to do the exercise 3 times, I would eventually morph what I said - with each Tapping location- into more positive thoughts... what I wanted to feel instead of what I actually was feeling. At first this exercise felt awkward, but now it is my "go-to!"
Hoping you find what works for you & you can get some rest! Peace!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I love all the posts on this topic. I have the Calm app installed and frequently use the sleep stories and background sounds or music to help me sleep. I believe they have free trials.
In addition to these suggestions, I find I sleep very well after I get sun on my skin.
I can notice degraded sleep when the weather has kept me inside.
Better yet is the combination of moving and sunshine. Sweet dreams!
When I absolutely can't fall asleep, I lay in bed reciting the Serenity Prayer over and over. I have some rituals in place concerning self care that help me get a peaceful night's sleep. For one thing, I make sure I am offline at least an hour before going to bed. Screen time right before bed messes with my ability to fall asleep. I also watch what I eat. I'm done with caffeine and sugar at least three hours before bed and often more than that. I stick with a pretty clean diet so if I'm experiencing any stress, there is no fried food laying heavy in my system giving me a stomach ache. I get done with exercise a few hours before bedtime. The exception is yoga which I've found is really beneficial to falling asleep easily and staying asleep. I typically read something enjoyable but not emotion triggering to distract me from problems. I also have sound recordings of the ocean, breezes etc when all else fails. They can be comforting and help with falling asleep. These are some of my self care rituals. They don't always work but often they do and I wake up the next morning refreshed rather wrung out. Hope something here helped. Sweet dreams. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
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