The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Quick fixes -- the author of today's reading lists many ways of being impatient when seeking an immediate solution to a difficult situation.
Pray "Grant me patience Lord, and hurry!" Expect to take 15 minutes to fix a problem that has existed for 20 years. Make a few program calls and share at a meeting -- and then expect the problem to go away. Self-criticism: There must be something wrong with me; it's my fault if I can't fix my feelings about this. Totally reject the idea that I should surrender, accept the situation, and pray for guidance.
Better suggestions are in Today's Reminder and Quote.
Reminder: Willpower cannot eliminate in a day troubles that have taken root in my life and flourished for decades. Things take time.
Quote from Confucius: "You cannot create a statue by smashing the marble with a hammer, and you cannot by force of arms release the spirit or the soul of man."
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I like how the author of this page freely admits character defects -- actions and beliefs that are misguided. I have behaved and thought this way too. It can be hard to accept that my pain may not go away immediately, even if I work hard at a solution. That it will take time. I don't mind doing the work --- but gosh darnit I want the results to equal my effort, and that is not guaranteed. Sometimes the work is to "do nothing," which can be hard.
I love the phrase in the Al-Anon meeting closing statement: "You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened." It doesn't promise perfection, it just suggests that improvement is possible. To me that is how things do get better, one small step at a time.
Good morning MIP! Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you and Betty for your ESH and shares. I have always had a sense of urgency brewing under the surface for solutions. It was a huge part of my business/professional success - I was known as a process guru and problem solver - big/small, new, etc. If others only knew what was happening on the inside....it was like the center of a tornado! Chaos, confusion, cycling, circling and total mayhem!
When I arrived at Al-Anon, and began listening and processing, I realized that those who appeared to have authentic serenity and peace of mind were not whirlwind type people. They were patient, calm, thoughtful, loving thought-out kind responses and suggestions, etc. - many things I was not. I heard early on that time takes time and that is so, so true!
That urgency in me has subsided as I've embraced belief and trust in a God of my understanding and 'my need to know and have quick solutions' has been greatly tamed. I still can 'think I need.....................' but use the program and tools to reset my expectations that I truly have all that I need - it's my 'wants' and 'will' that are speaking up.
Happy Friday all - make it a great day! We have a return of cold temperatures, but no snow! No golf today and that's perfect - my body is asking for some rest and a break. (((hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning all! So happy today is Friday! I was at a 3-day conference last weekend, and really missed the "me time" I did not get, so I am looking forward in anticipation to this weekend!!
Thank you for your service, Freetime. I can so relate to your wanting the results to equal your efforts!! Big Time!!! LOL! I too, am not afraid to do the hard work...but I always had expectations that the results would match my efforts. At first it was so hard to accept that they just won't - there is no guarantee.
Today I am healthier, but I can catch myself with these expectations still. So this was a good reminder!
I must say, I am much better at not blaming myself for the outcomes of things... I really work hard to change that negative thinking, blame-game straight away!
We've had a couple of days of really wild winds. It seems that every oak tree pollen-producing "angel hairs" ended up in my yard!! It's like a carpet. Not to mention the thick layer of pollen!! It is definitely 50% greater than last year. So, I will be spending my weekend outside... cleaning, fixing things that broke, watering, and otherwise getting my feet in the soil! I am also itching to make another yard-art piece, so hopefully I will have time to do that as well!
Enjoy the weekend my friends!
Namaste
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I too thought that results should absolutely match the effort put in. After all, what's fair is fair! Well, what have we been hearing and learning all our lives? "Life is not fair." So, I have been working hard on doing the next right thing with the thought, "Thy Will Be Done."
Also, we live in an immediate satisfaction society and I believe we have lost patience in general or waiting gracefully. This reading is such an important reminder and I value the shares.
Windy but warm here in western NY state.....up to 70 today! It won't last more than one day, but we'll take it! Happy weekend to all!
