The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been under a bit of stress this year. Things at work with my program are not going well. My work is fine, my team's work is fine, the revenue is not fine. The revenue is also not within my control or influence. Some big decisions are being made, and they will have a large impact on me and my team. I think I can protect the full-time staff, but not the part-time staff. The schedule for these decisions is, of course, hurry up and wait. And, just for fun, I bought a house in the middle of this work stress. I've been packing and moving boxes for a few weeks now, and hired movers for this Saturday to take care of the big stuff. My wife's mental health issues have been coming out majorly with this change (positive stress is still stress), so I've had a lot of practice with my Al-Anon tools lately. Detachment, focusing on myself and what I am doing to make things better, not taking responsibility for her emotions. Making plans, reaching out and asking for help, talking to AlAnon friends about what is going on. All these healthy Al-Anon approaches have helped me to stay centered, balanced, and responding to people in the way that I want to respond to them. I'm so grateful to the program for helping me learn how to live in a more balanced and calm way.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
((Skopri) life keeps on and so we must. Congrats on buying the house and calling on your alanon tools to live life with such courage, compassion and wisdom. I will hold you and your spouse in my prayers
Congrats on the move to a new house!
But you are so right, even positive stress, is STRESS!
I too, have found that big changes are easier for me to handle now... thank my HP! LOL!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
{{{Scorpi}}}. What an ispiring post and I can totally relate. Yes there is still stress, yes my spouse is not doing what I would like, and YES I can cope with everything in a healthier and more positive way thanks to program, Lyne
(((Skorpi))) - when I was still active in the workforce, I had to go through several lay-offs. It was gut-wrenching and so very difficult - I am sending you tons of positive mojo and energy. As we often say, this too shall pass - yet the team after these events was changed mostly because of fear of a repeat experience. Love that you're using the program and tools for both this and the move/new house!
Congrats. to you and the wife on the new 'digs'! I wish you a smooth move and a lovely new start in your new home! I too have found that 'life' is much easier to accept with recovery in action. Keep doing you - you're doing awesome!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Skorpi - congratulations on the new house and best of luck to you during the move. It is such a stressful time in the best of circumstances. Thank goodness for the alanon tools to help manage! Also, good luck in your job situation. I frequently go to, "Thy Will Be Done." It will all work out as it should...what a relief to do what we can and hand the rest over to HP. You are in my thoughts and I too am sending positive energy to you!
Most of the move is done now, we found the lost cat (he got scared during the move and was hiding in the old house), and I've got the puppy gates up in the new house, so no worries about "help" cleaning the litter boxes or sick puppies after eating kitty kibble. I'm so glad I had program friends around during the move, it helped me stay sane and balanced through it all. Set a few new boundaries with AW as well about what I will and will not tolerate when she is upset. I've been leaning into program tools, and I'm seeing great results. I'm taking Friday off for cleaning and maybe painting at the old house, hope to get the rest of the stuff moved out this weekend, so I can start setting up the new house. The dogs and I are settling into 4 am neighborhood walks (Chloe REALLY wanted to bring a cat home with her this morning) and we are all trying really hard to be less reactive when other dogs bark at us. (Although, the standing on hind legs and squealing loudly is a hard habit to break when you are a heeler!) I am looking forward to getting the break lines, random car parts, and broken glass cleared out of the back yard so I can reattach the fence and play fetch with the pups out back. Good energy draining activity before an evening walk, I think! The thing that is going best for me with this move is that I am keeping my attention on myself and what I am doing, and letting AW focus on herself and what she is doing.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
I'm glad you have Al-Anon to help you through this. I know I relied on Al-Anon a lot with my work and big changes that had happened there. Keep coming back.
Thanks for sharing about the changes both positive and negative that are going on in your life and what Alanon tools have helped you to keep balanced and serene. All are great aids for responding rather than reacting to people, places and things. Sending positive thoughts and prayers that you ease through these major changes with continued use of these self care tools and your hp's loving guidance. Wishing you joy and serenity in your new home. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
With an exception to "a new home" TT. Your response is an echo of the conversation I just recently had with a sponsee after this mornings meeting. He was very grateful for the Respond, don't react discussions we have had. He loves the power in it as much as I did when I first learned about it and to do it. Keep on keeping on. ((((Hugs))))
-- Edited by JerryF on Saturday 20th of April 2019 03:24:51 PM
In reading everyone's responses, posts, etc. -- and in reflecting since my Saturday meeting, and an anniversary meeting I just attended -- I believe...
LIFE is easier, both to handle, and LIVE...with ALANON.
Thanks everyone.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
I'm taking Friday off for cleaning and maybe painting at the old house, hope to get the rest of the stuff moved out this weekend, so I can start setting up the new house. The dogs and I are settling into 4 am neighborhood walks (Chloe REALLY wanted to bring a cat home with her this morning) and we are all trying really hard to be less reactive when other dogs bark at us. (Although, the standing on hind legs and squealing loudly is a hard habit to break when you are a heeler!) I am looking forward to getting the break lines, random car parts, and broken glass cleared out of the back yard so I can reattach the fence and play fetch with the pups out back. Good energy draining activity before an evening walk, I think! The thing that is going best for me with this move is that I am keeping my attention on myself and what I am doing, and letting AW focus on herself and what she is doing.
