The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am trying to get my head back on after at least a week of cloudiness. I am off chocolate for a week. I did it for personal reasons. I might try giving another don't need food abstinence. I realize that this may not have anything to do w/ Program. I am noticing how giving up things have to be filled w/ something else. That is what I consider working my program. I gave up other things in my life including a bad marriage. In July my current AH & I will be celebrating 20 years of marriage. We got married in a fever!
I don't know why it takes me so long to find a reason to post on here. I guess being a little not so good is a pretty good reason. I need to check in w/ you all!
I heard something on TV this morning. Let's see if I get this right: Someone is a butterfly & someone is a flower. I am the butterfly to give information to the flower. The the speaker said his grandma said" You are like a butterfly& your mom is like the flower. Speaking about this makes me wonder if I am still doing OK w/ my mom. She is doing OK. I guess I over-think this. I am so nervous about my mom returning up here. I guess this is another one day at a time moment or moments.
What could I possibly be doing wrong that I should have feelings of guilt. I am human I know. I guess I won't be satisfied until the past is totally in the past. And, I am very impatient no less.
Good to be back in a safe place. I am grateful that I can be safe after all these years being fearful & guilty. I tend to ruin some of the good things that have been created by me & for me.
(((Kathleen))) - good to see you and love your honesty! I believe as we age, we do worry about those we care for. I try to just keep it to a minimum by turning them over to my HP! You sound really good though - keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Many years ago...when I first entered the rooms of alanon...one of the things I use to do when I felt overwhelmed, in crisis, when I was struggling, or anything of the like...I used to ISOLATE!!!
Today, I realize, I know...that was not a good thing to do, it was not a healthy thing to do...and it made things worse...I just didn't know it.
Reach out!!! Don't isolate!!! Grasp and grab onto the program...and the program...has people in it...who are there for you!!!
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Kathleen, lovely share... 