The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author suggests that step 7 (Humbly asked HP to remove our shortcomings) is a step that we might take with joy and humor. The author shares that, while they have had the experience of working step seven tearfully and on their knees, that is not the only approach to this step. One of the signs the author uses to determine whether or not they are actually humble enough to ask HP to remove their shortcomings is that they can laugh about it. Humor can be a vehicle for letting go of a shortcoming: intensity, or the need to take ourselves so seriously.
Today's Reminder: Desperation and pain can certainly lead me to humility, but in Al-Anon I'm cultivating a new and eager willingness to follow my Higher Power's guidance. Because I am willing, I am freer to learn from all of life's lessons, not just the ones that hurt.
Today's Quote: "'Humbly' ... means seeing myself in true relation to my fellow man and to God." Lois' Story
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I find our author's take on step 7 to be refreshing. Humor, for me, can lighten the mood or seriousness with which I see something. I tend to be a "serious" person in general, but that doesn't mean that I am humorless. Through my experiences living with an active alcoholic, I found fewer and fewer things to laugh about. But thanks to my program work with Al-Anon, I am better able to see the funny side of things. This helps me live my life in balance, balancing the serious with the humorous, seeing that most things have both aspects in them. When I work step 7, I take a learning attitude to the experience. I tend to see my "shortcomings" not as character defects, but rather as strengths that I am utilizing out of proportion, or that I am over-relying on. This over-reliance brings me out of balance, and so my step 7 work often looks like asking HP to help me balance out my strengths, and build up a strength that I am under utilizing. Humor definitely is an important part of my process here.
The temperatures are finally picking up! It is so good to see the sun and feel the air warming this time of year. I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi Thank you for sharing your thoughts on his important Step. I know that when I became "Humble" my recovery really took off. By acknowledging that H. P is all powerful and that I am powerless really helped to reduce my ego and allowed me to ask for help. Love this Step and the Alanon program Thanks for your service
Thanks Scorpi for your service. I have been praying every morning for some time now, and lately I ask HP for exactly what I need. I mean, why not be direct? Perhaps this is my humor coming out, but Im also very serious. I thought I had forgiven my A but Im not so sure anymore. Ive been asking HP to help me with forgiveness and compassion. I seriously need a tune-up, Lyne
Thank you Skorpi for your service today! I appreciate the ESH from Betty and Lyne too. (((Lyne))), you got this!
That one sentence: "Through my experiences living with an active alcoholic, I found fewer and fewer things to laugh about." This stood out to me b/c that was me. All the joy and laughter had been sucked from my life. I felt like a husk of a person. Not to mention that there was a large part of me that was so angry and felt this was all my A's fault!
Steps 4 and 7 helped me to see my part in all this. And like Betty mentioned, it wasn't until I was truly READY to be humble did working Step 7 work for me. Since my "go-to" is very negative "head-talking," I try very hard to quell that behavior. One way is with humor. I find that if I take my shortcomings with a grain of salt, I can avoid the shame that used to come with them... and thereby keep working on bettering myself as a human being!
What day is it? HUMP DAY!
Make it a great one y'all!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good morning MIP. Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thanks to all above me for your shares and ESH. When I arrived, I struggled to smile, let alone laugh - even at comedy shoes/movies....I was so mentally consumed and obsessed about this disease in others I love!
As I began my Al-Anon journey, I was full of anger that others suggested I needed to do different/change. I really did not feel or see me as part of the problem - after all, I was a solution kind of person. The problem with my distorted thinking is I ASSumed my solutions were fitting for others, and tried to impose/force them accordingly.
It took a while for me to find humility as my brain was absolutely above capacity on negative emotions and 'right-fighting'. As I began to focus on listening, praying, feeling, healing through working these steps, things got much easier. I learned to pray for my needs to be met instead of my wants, and feel that more is revealed as we are ready to see it.
Humility for me came with practice. I define it simply - to be teachable. My own Ego and right-fighting were 2 defects I prayed about before I even got to this step. I knew they would be blocks to true freedom and serenity. I am grateful for a sponsor who showed me how to share ESH without opinion and advice as this helps keep me humble.
I can't honestly recall when/how humor returned to my life but am grateful it did! I have to be mindful of genuine humor vs. sarcasm which can be funny to me but not others. It is my intent to find joy in as many moments of my day as possible as I believe my HP truly wants me to be happy, joyous and free!
Happy Hump Day all - we've got storms and high winds in the forecast for the entire day....my poor Dog is in a panic state - she's not much for thunder and what comes with it! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Happy Hump Day!! of course...Thanks IAH and all else who contributed to the idea of humor. This was a very big lesson to me growing up in program...another tool as I learned another way of looking at my problems and then seeing the less than serious side and then learning that even my Higher Power laughs as my sponsor taught me that if I could be quiet in crises often times I could hear my HP laugh....and I did. I stopped taking myself soooo seriously most of the time. That is an ego problem and self centeredness problem for me which I used to club my alcoholic/addict with much of the time.
Consider the picture of me attempting to be more cunning, powerful and baffling than alcoholism and drug addiction.? Jeeeeez quit already!! (((((hugs)))))
Great shares, everyone!!!! yea, why does it (step 7) have to be all pain and tears???? casting the burdens is what I call it and it can be with love and openess, willingness to HP and to myself....I visualize myself taking a basket or (depending on what/who it is) a heft trash bag and I put the "unwanted trait" or "learned survival skill" that I had to use AT THAT TIME to survive and take it to my HP...Drag it to the Cross, in my visual....stuff it in a basket or trash bag and see me actually putting it in the container and seeing me lay it at the feet and I say to myself, now I go free to (fill in what the desired trait/circumstance is) seems to work for me.....I had to find my own definition of my HP of my understanding and it is like a desired, square of life: good health, abundance, love and self expression....healthy self expression is responding with boundaries and balance, not reacting with fire and off the charts fear........JUST saying
