Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

Thank you (((everyone))) for your wisdom, love and support. A few days have passed and I am at peace with this. My hope is that I will no longer have that ill at ease feeling in my meeting place wondering not if but when this individual will impose himself into my personal space. Our DD is aware and was supposed to bring this up in a general way. She personally told me this. That has not happened as yet but I remain optimistic that she will see this through for the health of our group. She told me that she had observed behaviors from this guy towards women at times that she was uncomfortable with. So far, she has taken her discomfort no further than expressing it to me. And lets remember what may put me ill at ease or the DD, may be perfectly acceptable to someone else. It just may be where those two people are at in their recovery. Who am I to judge or attempt to rescue another meeting member or my whole group for that matter. My job is and continues to be ME. I am happy to contribute to a group conscience process. I see this guy interacting with others and they voice that they are uncomfortable to him directly. However, they giggle when stating they are uncomfortable. Here being direct is almost considered rude. I am originally from a part of the country where being direct is not only a way of life but considered honest. It really save a lot of time that people don't frankly have in their daily lives. It's acceptable and appreciated. So I am hoping to have my meeting back for a focus on my own recovery. I have always been one to stay in my own hula hoop at my meetings. This didn't come overnight but thankfully I am not longer hyperfocused on what others are doing unless it is directly affecting me. I am much more tolerant of how others do things concerning meeting decisions. As long as we keep it Alanon what is the big deal. There will always be basket watchers, door watchers, super service workers, super sponsors and those who disagree just because they can. Honestly, at least for me these things don't matter, the message of Alanon is what I show up for not drama. This man has a higher power and our group is a group of adults who have free will. Anyone who feel affected by him in a negative way will take care of themself. Those who actually like the attention will continue to interact with him in that manner. It's progress for me to not feel personally responsible for others just myself. If asked, I would say no that kind of behavior would not be acceptable to me without ever saying I had such an experience with him as well. Because with each person I believe anyway it is about how it feels for YOU. I claim to know no other person's mind only my own and even that I question at times. It's what keeps me coming back to learn and become healthier. 

I love our program and am currently weighing a related professional opportunity. I am deep into the process now, been selected, have only to get through one more group of people. If that goes well, there will be an offer. I am trying to come down from the pink puffy cloud of optimism of believing that it will somehow be less dysfunctional than the typical workplace. I worry a little about how these expectations vs reality might affect my view of my recovery and recovery in general down the road. I continue to pray about this as my recovery has never had such a diffinitive connection to paid employment. My hp will put me where I am meant to be I suppose. It's just on my mind and I needed to voice it and let it go.

Thanks you for being here and for your caring responses. I'm grateful to be on this journey with you. ((hugs))) TT