I officially hit bottom. The crisis around me continues to overwhelm me. Last week, it was hell. I had to see the doctor and got bad news about my health condition. The doctor said I can not return to work. Not now, I may never be able to because of my health issue. I am being sent to another specialist for follow up. Then, I helped a friend with a do it yourself divorce. What a huge learning experience that has been for me. I however love law, so to me this  was fun. There is only one last piece of legal paperwork to do and its done. I am grateful for this huge learning. I have learned a lot. 

Then as I am feeling proud of my accomplishments, my daughter who has a serious mental health issue, has a breakdown. I got the brunt of her serious anger. It was very scary as my life was threatened. I had to call 911 and the police responded and she was taken to hospital. I am sure the neighbors where wondering why the police was again at my home. I do not care what they think as this was a serious emergency. Then the wait began to see what the doctor's at emergency would do. She got admitted to a mental health hospital for treatment! God is so good! I have been working with the mental health team and was very clear, I can not have her live with me again. The stress is too much for me. I miss her company so bad. The house is supper quite now. I am having to readjust to this new way of life again. One thing I am so, so grateful for is alcohol or drugs were not a factor in this matter. I did seek help for myself. I too, was nearing a breakdown from all the stress. I have reached out for help and that I am so grateful for. I am doing self care big time. I did visit my daughter yesterday at the hospital and she says she feels a bit better but is struggling. I am staying as hopeful as possible that the hospital will keep her for a long while, my hope would be a good 3-6 months, to really ensure she gets stabilized and is able to function in the community! Then I found out the police charged her for assault on  a police officer, during another mental breakdown 3 years ago when the police had to be called as well as the crisis mental health team. She was given court paperwork for this matter. I am not concerned as I love love law and this will be a walk in the park for me. I will get a lawyer for her as soon as she is stabilized enough to leave the hospital for the day to address this matter. I look at this and I say, God your so good, your so awesome as you have given me the love of law and knowing how to navigate the legal system.

Then I talked with my daughter 's father to let him know about our daughter medical condition. What a nightmare it was talking with him. I finally made it clear, no more talking with him. Its useless and adding more stress on me. He was dictating orders about her care and treatment like he knows all the answer and blaming me. I finally told him, leave me alone and I only contacted you to let you know she is in hospital. He is a untreated alcoholic and talking to him is like talking to a wall. A complete waste of time and energy. I am grateful I set boundaries with him. I can not deal with his stuff either. He either will come and see her at the hospital or not. Its not my issue. I can only look after me.

Than added to all this stress is my younger sister is dying of cancer. in hospital. 

Then there is the issue of my house. It needs to be sold asap so I can get out of here and move into a smaller home that I can afford.    

I am working hard on one day at a time, easy does it, this too shall pass. Acceptance, acceptance. Just like an alcoholic, let go and let god, tough love! I have been praying hard, and keep saying god's will not mine. I am trying to keep positive and know that the best is yet to come! 

I keep thinking its darkest before the dawn! The best is yet to come! 

Thanks for letting me share my struggles!!