The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT Reading for today, 2-5-2019 speaks about working to uncover our shortcomings. This difficult task,.the reading suggest has a reward , because as we uncover our defects we also discover our assets which are hidden under these defects.
The reading suggests that we appreciate these assets and view them as building blocks for our future
The reading goes on to point out that in alanon we are on a journey of discovery and need to understand our true selves so that not embracing our asset is foolish
Thanks Betty for your service. I think I am more open and honest about seeing my shortcomings since program entered my life. Because I dont have to be perfect and clearly see that no one is, having my defects is human. The desire to change them is positive, and I continue to try and improve myself, Lyne
Good morning ladies and happy Tuesday. I too appreciate your service and the daily Betty as well as the ESH and shares above me. I do believe that for most of us, exploring our defects and part in the challenges of this disease reveal our assets. I am one who has come to discover that most of my defects were actual strengths that through unhealthy habits became very exploited.
As with all things in recovery, it's a process. We had a great meeting on Sunday about resentments and most of us realized how deeply fear affects most of us, our feelings, thoughts, actions, etc. Most resentments come about when we are driven by self instead of a HP as well as when we use fear to anticipate the future. Allowing life and each day to unfold while setting aside my fears and trusting in a power greater than I helps me to just be present and have more peace.
I am grateful that we're not expected to have all defects perfectly removed or changed. We are asked to be entirely ready for God to remove them. This daily reminds me of HOW it all works - Honesty, Open (Minded) & Willingness!
Make it a great day - we got icy rain - grateful to hibernate and stay warm!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Tuesday morn to you all! Thank you Betty for your service!
At first, I thought, what defects do I have... my spouse is the one with the problem!!! LOL!
But I trusted the "long-timers" here and eventually in my F2F groups and continued with the flow of the program, which eventually led to Step 4 - An honest & fearless inventory of ourselves.
I found out many things about myself. Here are a few:
1. I like to be perfect. Many times this leads to also being "Right."
2. I really like to manage... which is really a form of control!
3. I have based almost everything I have done in my life both good and bad from a base of fear.
Imagine the joy and the weight off my shoulders when I eventually learned that I do not have to think this way anymore! It was palpable, let me tell you!!!
Also, in going with the program's "motto" of Be Gentle With Yourself, I also realized that many of my best traits are still really great traits... they were just distorted by living within this disease. I am learning how to still embrace them, but utilize them in a more healthy fashion.
I am embracing the slogan, "Know Thyself."
It is a good thing!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you, Betty, and all who have posted! It was really a gift of our program when I found out that our defects are often assets that have been taken too far. I came to understand that I was asking a higher power for my defects to be "removed" -- not obliterated, just moved or re-calibrated to a healthier level. And I was reminded that, when making amends, I should first make amends to myself. What a concept!
Mahalo plenty Betty for mentioning that one slogan and thought force I received when letting the program enter my life. I had heard it before and just filed it with all of the other wisdoms that people had floating around out there and then within the program "Know thyself" became the most important slogan and direction I can have since all of this the good and the bad happens with the permission of me.
One of the best awareness I had in the program was/is that I had lived my whole life with me and ended up knowing nothing about me as I sat and found myself among others who were recovering greatly thru and 4th and 10th steps.
I would not be able to change and get better until I knew what it was and where I wanted to be.
Again Sweet Sister in MIP...Mahalo Plenty. ((((hugs))))
When I was 4th stepping with my sponsor Don't (LOL) and mentioning what I was finding out about my sick behaviors and how they were making life very tough, he would then ask me the second question after the what...He would ask me "Why did you do it that way"? How, What, Where, When and....Why? He was a God gift.
-- Edited by JerryF on Wednesday 6th of February 2019 01:34:21 PM
(((((Betty))))) thanks for the great share "The reading goes on to point out that in alanon we are on a journey of discovery and need to understand our true selves so that not embracing our asset is foolish"
when I first did step 4, I thought i was a 2 legged train wreck...then, after a while, i began to, working the same scary ole step, find GOOD stuff about me....WOW!!!! i made mistakes, but i was NOT a mistake as I was told... I had "undesirable traits" but i was NOT a useless POS....I didn't win everything I tried, but I was NOT a loser...I found out, and this was a wowza for me: i was HUMAN......
As I did the "know thyself" I found out that I was worth saving...that was a real eye opener to me...
