The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello. MIP, and welcome to February! In today's reading, the author had stopped enabling an alcoholic, and then felt frustrated because the drinking didn't stop. They wondered what they had done wrong. Then they realized that they were still trying to control alcoholism and its symptoms. In Al-Anon they learned a new perspective: When I change my behavior, I should make that choice because it is good for me, not because I believe it will have an effect on others.
I like this sentence in the reading: "When I change my behavior, the behavior of those around me may also change, but there is no guarantee that it will change to my liking."
Today's Reminder: It is hard to stop acting as I have in the past. But with Al-Anon's support, I can be the one to break the pattern. I can choose to do what I think is right -- for me.
Quote: "You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life." --- Jane Seymour
What is good for me? In a lot of my past life, I never thought of that question. Being considerate and kind to others is great, but if I don't include being kind and considerate to myself -- well, I'm leaving out someone important.
Recently I was struggling with a decision about my home group meeting. It had dwindled down to the point I was doing all the service jobs myself. I was agonizing over whether to close the meeting ... just thinking about newcomers and how this meeting wouldn't be available for them as it had been for me, on the dark and stormy night when I first came into that very room for my first meeting. I acted on various suggestions I received to attract more attendance, and folks did what they could to spread the word about this meeting, but I was becoming resentful of others because they weren't stepping up or showing up. Even with all the effort I was putting in ... I wasn't able to control other Al-Anons!!
Last week, at our very tiny meeting, a newcomer asked me about the group, "Is it meeting your needs?" Wow, that question hit me like a ton of bricks. My needs? After thinking about that for a few hours, it became completely clear what the right action was -- for me. And today I feel good about my decision.
-- Edited by Freetime on Friday 1st of February 2019 12:45:21 AM
Good Morning Freetime Glad to see February arrive . I do appreciate the message in this reading as I must always focus on ME and take the actions to enrich my life not to force change in another The wisdom of alanon is indeed powerful
Good Morning ladies and happy February. Evidence has shown me that life is much better when I keep the focus on me and keep things as simple as I possibly can. My magic, magnifying mind can still tangent off to make mountains out of molehills, so one day at a time while practicing this program is a gift!
Thank you freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your shares and ESH. I am also glad it's Friday for no other reason than I am golfing tomorrow for the first time in a long while. I am so grateful the cold has broken for now and the sun is shining. Make it a great day all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you all for your service today. Freetime - This says it all for me... "Being considerate and kind to others is great, but if I don't include being kind and considerate to myself -- well, I'm leaving out someone important."
I would always leave myself out... but then also follow that with the "poor me's" or martyrdom... not good... not healthy. Today I choose to NOT leave myself out and NOT get stuck in those negative feelings.
I love the C2C posts! In fact, I just love the reading's title "Courage to Change." Because yes, it DOES require courage to change the behaviors you have lived with for so long!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
FT-Thank you for your service and for sharing this important reminder. Alanon has taught me that it is necessary to focus on myself, instead of wasting time and energy on people and things that I do not have control over. I try to choose behaviors that bring me good self-esteem and self-respect. I need and deserve positive attention from me! Lyne
Thank you for today's reading and all the shares. I have found sometimes I become frustrated because I have changed my approach or have backed off and I don't see any changes on my AH's part! What the heck?! I am doing "what I am supposed to do" right? Well, wrong. I realize that I have changed my behavior in order to change my AH. I have not really let go of anything.....I am just trying a new strategy! I can FEEL when I have truly let go....when I really am letting the pieces fall where they may because it is not my business. I can feel the difference of detachment vs. hanging on by another route. The good news is that I do eventually catch on to myself and let it go once again with the help of HP.
Have a lovely day.....oohhh.golfing, IAH. Very nice. We are babysitting our grandchildren this weekend while mommy and daddy move into their new house. Four years old and 6 months old all weekend. Sounds fun and scary at the same time.....lol.
"Being considerate and kind to others is great, but if I don't include being kind and considerate to myself -- well, I'm leaving out someone important."
(((((((((((((((((((((((((PnP))))))))))))))))))) yep, this was me for a long time....and, like you, i would do the complaining, "woe is me" "poor me" martyr thing...till I got into recovery and learnd...its not me me me and its not them them them....It is ME TOO.....yea, be considerate, kind, offering encouragment, but give that to ME TOO!!!!!
Thanks everyone else for your shares!! Gotta love these dailies
