The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading talks about the power of humility as we work the steps of recovery. The author shares that after working the program zealously for over a year, there was frustration over continued lapses into self-pity and resentment over the alcoholic's inability to give wanted emotional support.
The author realized during meditation on Step 6 & 7 that three words were key to their recovery - We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, and we humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. The writer realized that much of the zealous effort applied had really been an exercise of self-will or their own limited power.
With a new level of sincere humility, God was asked again to remove shortcomings, and the author found relief when she next encountered her A. Her self-pity and resentment were gone.
Reminder --- I want to be ready for shortcomings to be removed, and I will do what I can to prepare. I can develop a non-judgmental awareness of myself, accept what I discover, and be fully willing to change. But I lack the power to heal myself. Only my Higher Power can do that.
Quote --- "I accept the fact that I need help in being restored to sanity, and that I cannot achieve this without help."
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I can relate so, so much. As with most things in my life before recovery, I attacked the program with a 'gun-ho' attitude. I wanted peace, serenity, relief, etc. - NOW!!! I too ended up often lapsing into self-pity as anger/resentments. At times, I even lashed out at the program, suggesting it was flawed and not working for me.
What I came to realize is each step has to be worked as suggested, not my way. I had to truly surrender my will and my life to the care of a Higher Power that I could accept, trust and relate to. I could not be that Higher Power - it had to be a power greater than self. Only when I truly surrendered and accepted complete powerlessness over the alcohol, the alcoholic and my own insanity from this disease did I fine lasting peace and serenity.
This does not mean I am unaffected by 'life events'. What has changed is how I process, heal and deal with life events. I no longer freak out, get consumed with fear and react in unhealthy ways. Instead, I use this program to do things differently. For me, I wake with my HP, walk all day with my HP and end my day the same way - with my HP. I am grateful that I just kept practicing relying on a power greater than me, outside of me as that's when healing really happened for me.
Happy Thursday all....road trip day for me - headed to hang with my gal pals from HS. We are celebrating the end of chemo/radiation for one who had recurring cancer. It's still deathly cold here, but is supposed to break right about the time I begin my journey. Like a boy scout, I am prepared with jumper cables, blankets, water, etc. - just in case! Make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
IAH-Thank you for your service and this important share. I have made great strides since program but I have a couple areas where I feel stuck. Something a member said in my F2F Tuesday made me realize that I should work the steps again with my sponsor, and it will bring me closer to HP. With this wonderful experience, I think it can make me more humble and open to HP to remove my shortcomings. I did the steps about 5 years ago, and I think it will be a very worthwhile experience that I'm looking forward to, Lyne
Great reminder HUmility was a gift I received from this program completely wihout my knowledge . Simply working tHE Steps, With a sponsor, attending meetings, living by alanon principles Ifound that humility had beoome one of my aasets and i am ao EVER SO GRATEFUL
(((((Betty)))))) yep, humility sorta "grew on me" I just kept working and doing the literature, married the steps and slogans and at first I thought "well, I don't see any big time changes---so this program aint for me" but I kept coming back, kept telling myself that instant gratification only happens with 3 minute oatmeal...the rest , you gotta be patient which was/still is NOT one of my strong points......
doing like you, I noticed that I was becoming softer...hard edges were becoming more "soft" brittle was turning into flexibility......THANK U PROGRAM!!!!
