The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A Brother calls me today and I am driving home from work, so the bluetooth rings and I see its him.....I hit answer and we talk
He told me a boat owner fired him "temporary layoff" he said because "I acted out while drinking" so I listen and he goes on to say that its "not my fault..the guys an A*****e!!!! so he let him go to "teach him a lesson" and so my brothers RX for this is to text the guy and in his words, tell him, "you can't lay me off....I F***ing quit" so I am listening to this and I asked him...."WHAT part did YOU play in this breakup with a client????"
No answer...Just breathing and I can almost see him squirm....so I told him that there are consequences for his wrongs...NOBODY gets a pass because they are alcoholic and especially ones who refuse program....I tell him that if I did that to MY clients??? I would be veeeery lucky my layoff would only be temporary
I tell him that the boat owner was nice enough to make the "layoff" temporary...I further explained that he was only defending his boundaries...Because I am SURE the guy knows Brother is an alcoholic and I am willing to bet that boat owner said "no drinking on boat or else" I said that to brother and he did not deny it...
"but its not my faaaaauuuuult" oh yea, its never their fault....I told him to serve out his sentence...do NOT quit the guy and get bad mouthed all over the marina, just take the punishment like a man and THINK!!!! Wait it out....and DON"T do it again....
but no!!! It wasn't his fault....Not my circus...Not my monkeys...when I was fnished with the call, I detached....Did my things for me...Laundry, kicking back and relaxing....taking care of me.....
I am sooooooo glad i am in program...the more I heal, the more I see what I DON"T want in my life.....Today, I worked...I MAY have a new client, myself and back is getting better and so is my perceptions and my responses.....I wasn't cruel to him...I wasn't condescending or insulting or putting him down....I addressed the behavior and how MOST people won't accept drinking on the job and acting out to boot!!! I said what I meant...meant what I said, and said it firm but kind....I do love him, but I am not enmeshed in his problems....what he can do for himself?? that is HIS job to take care of....My hands are off!!!!!!
Not my fault was once my "go to excuse. Glad you helped him to fsce the reality of he situation. without taking his inventory Program works---- good job .
You were really using your program with your Bro. I especially like how you said what you meant, meant what you said, but did not say it mean!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
