The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in One Day At a Time in Al-Anon points out that we can't simply eliminate our faults. Forcing ourselves to stop a bad habit or compulsion doesn't work. We need to replace the defect with something better.
Today's Reminder provides some examples: If I am morose and discontented, I will cultivate happy thoughts. If I am prone to criticize, I will seek out what is good and pleasing, and focus my mind on that. I will replace my doubts and fears with faith and confidence.
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I am good at organizing, planning ... and worrying about the future. Thanks to this program, when I catch myself worrying/obsessing, I can replace that with focusing on today. One Day at a Time. If I recognize that my worry is ridiculous (and sometimes it is), I tell myself something I heard in a meeting: "If you are going to make s&$% up, why not make up good s&$% ?"
Great topic Freetime I know that i have replaced many negative defects with positive life affirming attitudes and my life as well as my attitudes toward the day and people in my life has changed dramatically.
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Bad habits are hard to break so that I continue to ask HP to help and stay vigilent ==keeping the focus on myself and my inner thoughts
Thanks for your service. .
Good morning MIP. Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your ESH and shares. This is a lovely reading and one thing that I've replaced is my faith for my fear. This doesn't mean I don't experience fear ever, but instead when it begins, I am able to remember I am not alone, I have a HP who loves me and will lead me if/when I allow him to do so.
I came to Al-Anon more insane than I even knew (and am still peeling back the layers). I was so convinced that if those around me changed, I would find peace, joy and serenity. It took time, practice and patience to embrace and accept I was responsible for my own joy. Nothing anyone had done to me, did to me presently or would do to me in the future could shake my foundation if/when I aimed for a spiritual life.
I have also replaced anger, resentments and blaming others with compassion, forgiveness and service. Al-Anon gives us what we need to change, it's a choice if/how/when we use the tools.
Happy Friday all - make it a great day! It's extremely cold here today but the sun is brightly shining! Stay safe and warm in your part of the world!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
yea, I tend to make bad S*** up, so replace it with thoughts that good S*** can happen...and ACTING as if, does help me.....My mind is like an apartment...if I remove a BAD tenent, I must replace it with a GOOD tenent or another bad one can move in.....I do use CBT on me a lot....just , like, for example, words/affirmations don't really do it for me because action to me means more, so yea, I do self talk but i "lock it in" with better behavior...for instance, if I do something stupid out of not paying attention, not being mindful, yea, I'll say "good you caught that' and then I'll force me to slow down...easy does it....SLOW DOWN...that is my big thing....I guess in my childhood, we were taught to "hop to it" or we got hurt....or we were forced to do awful tasks that children should not be exposed to, so we "rushed through it" to get it over with....so I find myself hurrying when it is totally unnecessary, when I have a bunch of stuff to do, I tend to hurry, so I have for force me to slow down...one thing at a time...first things first....so sometimes for me, changing my ACTION will change my thinking along with the good self talk.......my crappy thinking/believing got me here...its gonna take, yea, good self talk, slogans, etc., but its also gonna take just over riding the bad behaviour with good behaviour........
A good topic today, for sure! Thank you all for some quality ESH!
Freetime, I read your post and thought, "We are just two peas in a pod!" LOL! I too, am good at organizing and planning... as such, I tend to want to plan out everything in my life! But as we have ALL found out, Life just doesn't roll that way!
Life is a raucous, rollercoaster of events, emotions, & feelings. And I have now come to accept that it was meant to be that way, so that we humans don't get bored & complacent!!! The key is to learn how to navigate both the highs and lows... that is where Al-Anon comes in perfectly!
In answer to your question, I have begun to cease the negative talk in my head... sure, it can be directed at others at times, but probably is most prevalent towards myself. So I just LOVED when Rose shared that she actually tells herself out loud... "Good you caught that," and then moves in the opposite direction - she is positive reinforcing her positive growth!
When I catch myself, I try and spin my thoughts into a more positive view. I am also trying to actively not live in fear of future things... to live in the now (Just for Today), and to have faith that I am on the right path. The faith part has been hard, but I just keep reminding myself, "Hey! You're Higher Power has got this!" Some days are better than others with this, but I feel like I AM moving forward.
So thankful it is Friday! I am looking forward to having a couple days of rest!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
