The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I usually post from Courage to Change, but I also keep that book in my office, and with all the snow we got, I can't get to it. (2 hours of shoveling, though! No need to hit the gym today, as it is still snowing, and I know I'll get the opportunity to shovel the driveway again later today.)
Today's Hope online hasn't updated their post yet for today, and so today's share is taken from yesterday's topic on Today's Hope.
The daily reflection is about how to find joy. It starts with a quote from G.F. Sear: "When we start at the center of ourselves, we discover something worthwhile extending toward the periphery of the circle. We find some of the joy in the now, some of the peace in the here, some of the love in me and thee which go to makeup the kingdom of heaven on earth."
The author shares that many of us might have been afraid to find our center - our core selves. Either afraid of what we would find, or afraid we would find nothing at all if we paused to search for our inner selves. But we are learning, sometimes struggling to learn, who our inner selves are and how we fit into the circle of life. The author shares that all we have is the here, the now, the us - our true selves. And this is all we ever need, if we would risk knowing our true selves, showing our true selves to others, and seeing the true selves others show us.
The author concludes by reminding us that this program needs each of us for the special gifts we bring to it.
Today's Quote: We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within. - Earl Nightingale
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What an interesting share. I have been struggling a bit in my home group because of what I interpret as the controlling nature of a few of the initial members. One doesn't come to meetings at all anymore, but still holds on to the budgeting and financial docs. (Which would be no problem if the related work was getting done and communicated with the group.) Another is our main contact person, and withholds information from the national organization until they have decided how they feel about it. Most new members don't stay very long, and I can't help but wonder if the lack of opportunities for service might be part of the issue. Anyway, the line about the program needing each of us really hit home with me today. I'm going to think on this a bit more. We are a small group, and I genuinely like each and every member. Maybe I'll bring this reading to our next meeting and see where things go.
On another and more personal note, I tend to hesitate to let others see my true self. I've learned over time that this make me vulnerable, and I need to be careful who I share with. I'm so glad to have AlAnon, and a close group of understanding friends, with whom I can be my true self. I've learned as well that positive relationships and healthy boundaries let me share more of my core self with others, because the boundaries keep me from being vulnerable. (Or, at least, they keep me from being as vulnerable!)
I hope you have a great day, and if you are dealing with snow today, be safe!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi. Great exercise- shoveling snow Please rest up that is a hard job. As is looking within and discovering my true self. Without the safety of an alanon meetingad the support of a sponsor I would never have had the courage to shed my defensive defects and find my real assets. Being true to myself has become my "GO to" behavior and i am so grateful . As for the group dynamic, I would call for a "Business meeting" set an agenda and pray. Good luck
Thanks Skorpi for your service. I like the reading as it talks about finding joy and looking within. I must say I am better at both of these since program. I could always look at my core, but I saw it as deficient. Now I can see a person with assets and working to lessen deficits. I can see a more realistic picture of me, and I do experience joy much more often. Lyne
Looking within can be hard at times. But I do feel that if a person can learn to love themselves, then the whole world benefits in some way. It reminds me of a pebble on the water... that ripple effect!
Hump day, y'all!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
This is a great share. I thought I knew what joy was.....material things that I could point to that would temporarily fill me up. All things along that line supposedly gave me joy. Reflecting back....I was pretty unhappy and didn't know what true joy was. Although I am still peeling back the layers to find my center and who I truly am....I now know that the material things are not who I am and who I am meant to be. Thanks to alanon and even the struggles with my AH, I can see the important things in life. I can see that building my own life and becoming (still at my ripe old age) who I am supposed to be is what is important and what brings joy.
Have a wonderful day. I shoveled the other day Skorpi, and my back is still paying for it. Unless it is lighter snow that I can just push aside.....I think my shoveling days are over!
Good morning MIP! Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares and ESH. What popped into my head was I really, really thought I knew 'me' before recovery. The reality is that I know the 'me' that I presented outwardly, and quite frankly I was more of a chameleon - changing my colors depending upon the situation, the audience, etc. I was a completely different person at work than at home and even still another when out socially...
I had a bunch of work to do in recovery as I truly didn't even know me. I had values that were core and I had things I enjoyed, but I had no idea how to be authentic, consistent, true to me and be gentle, kind and compassionate.
I also would never have had the courage to look within, and find the authentic me without a loving, supportive group and sponsor. I have always been told that each step starts with We for a reason, trying to take this journey alone is not usually successful. We are in need of the ESH from others as well as a HP that is not 'us'.
Love the quote - so, so true!
Skorpi - we had rain, sleet, ice, snow last night. I am grateful I don't have to go anywhere! All 3 of the adult kids in my life made it to work safely - our roads here were a mess as our temperatures dropped and it all froze. I do enjoy shoveling - there is such a sense of accomplishment when the snow is moved to another spot! Take good care of yourself - it is a great workout!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Skorpi, thank you for today's share. I love how you were flexible to find another reading when your regular book was not available.
I also resonate with the point you brought up about sharing our true selves. As I see it, there are people and places where it does not feel safe to say what I really feel or what is really going on in my life ... but there are other places and people (such as Al-Anon) where I've learned it is safe, and not only safe but helpful and healing. And there are places and people where I can share about my Al-Anon involvement, but other places where I don't as it could break someone else's anonymity.
To all of you in cold and snowy places today, stay warm!
hey Skorpi, great share "might have been afraid to find our center - our core selves. Either afraid of what we would find, or afraid we would find nothing at all if we paused to search for our inner selves. But we are learning, sometimes struggling to learn, who our inner selves are and how we fit into the circle of life"
this was and to a lesser degree----ME....afraid to find my real me..a stranger to me...afraid it would be more messed up then the "survival me" was/is...OR would I find anything?? did they "suck me dry" THAT bad or is there still an inner, real, untainted, intact ME?? I am finding that there IS a real me...a Core me....its there..buried under all the rubbish of my childhood, but it is there.....I don't know how I fit in the circle of life...I don't believe in any g-d having a "Plan for me" but I do believe I can "re-set" my life chart by changing ME, how I treat me..how I treat the universe and all lives in it...how much I can trust me and my higher voice within....its beginning to take shape, but its going to take the rest of my life, perhaps to really feel comfortable with the real me who has been unknown to me for all these decades
