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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Cross Talk
Post Info TOPIC: Cross Talk
Conflicted


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Cross Talk
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Curious does AlAnon have any literature approaching this related to within meetings? Are there official guidelines related to cross talk?



-- Edited by Conflicted on Friday 18th of January 2019 12:33:56 AM

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DavidG


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Hi Conflicted-
 
                     This is what I came up with. My personal view is that it comes down to Tradition 4.
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The subject of crosstalk has been discussed at several World Service Conferences. Each time, the consensus has been that AlAnon has no official definition of this term, and that what is important in each group is that we maintain a loving and welcoming environment for those who attend our meetings.

Questions on Crosstalk - Area 52 Al-Anon / Alateen Family Groups



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hotrod


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HI Conflicted  Crosstalk is defined as direct comment on anyone else's share and is supported by Tradition one whereby Personal progress for the greatest number depends on unity .Not sure what your question is

here is an informative link   http://fine-anon.blogspot.com/2009/06/cross-talk.html



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Betty

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Choriste


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hotrod wrote:

HI Conflicted  Crosstalk is defined as direct comment on anyone else's share and is supported by Tradition one whereby Personal progress for the greatest number depends on unity .Not sure what your question is

here is an informative link   http://fine-anon.blogspot.com/2009/06/cross-talk.html

Thanks for this link - I found it very helpful.

I used to wonder about cross talk, feeling like I was the only one in the room who didn't understand what it meant, and it's interesting and helpful to know that there's no "official" definition.

I attend an open format meeting and we often sort of speak to another's shares in terms of following the topic.  Often, shares will start "Oh, Jane's observation made me think about _____." and etc.  Not "Oh, Jane, I think you...."  Big difference.

 



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Conflicted


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Sorry my question wasn't clear. I was asking if there is an official stance on crosstalk during meetings or each group decides for itself? I've been to meetings where it is stated in meeting there's to be no crosstalk and then other meetings it seems to be allowed. Personally, when I've been in meetings with crosstalk it is distracting and sometimes can make me question myself or lose my train of thought. Thank you.

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Overcome


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I think that is exactly why crosstalk is not allowed in meetings, Conflicted... it can make us question our feelings, and feel (pardon my pun)... Conflicted. I think the more that we are allowed to "think things through" ourselves and have people to listen and validate us, we work through most things ourselves, with the help of our HP and our sponsor.



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Iamhere


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Conflicted - I too have been to meetings where it's not allowed and others that are more relaxed. The former are preferred by me, exactly why you state - my thoughts flow better and seem to be uninterrupted. In our meetings where it's not allowed, we define as Betty suggests with the added thought of not referring to other shares as well. This group that works best for me really asks us to focus on ourselves, our experience, strength and hope and we also refrain from discussing our alcoholics.

Of course, this is easier to consider and follow when topics are known in advance and they all are. Great question and great topic!

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Conflicted


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Thank you everyone for your time and thoughts.

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Bo


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I don't know if you are going to get an opinion or insight from this group about this group and cross-talk, or about WSO and cross-talk. Two points to consider -- one, there may be people here who don't go to face to face alanaon meetings (WSO approved, registered meetings) and/or have access to WSO information. Two, this forum is not an official, WSO registered, approved, alanon forum, and as such they may not follow WSO guidelines here. JMO.

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DavidG


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 In big cities people can go round the corner- to another group- if one group does not suit.

I come from a small rural town where we do not have that luxury. Maybe we place more emphasis on getting the group to work.

A meeting of mainly newcomers- maybe a bit more conversation. A meeting with an emphasis on the steps- might have much less cross-talk- maybe none.

A meeting with older members- different again.

On this board- which I regard as a meeting- we sometimes do some "troubleshooting" where the member asks for input and feedback.

On a group like this each member has unlimited time to share!

Respecting the experience of other members- and learning to create healthy boundaries- would be a high priority for me. smile ...

      smilesmilesmilesmilesmileawwawwawwawwsmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmile...



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mamalioness


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I like what Overcome said

about allowing me to think things through and be validated and listened to w/out them giving me advice or telling me what I should do or working my inventory...to me those are crosstalk...to give a hug or gesture of support or encouragement is what I most thrive on AND their ESH based on what THEY did, what THEY felt, what THEY experienced w/out working my inventory...having my inventory worked is kinda triggering unless I really know and trust the person....

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JerryF


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Aloha family.  On this subject I learned to and still practice KEEP IT SIMPLE.  Don't do it for cause and the cause is the recovery of others in the room.   Cross talking creates confusion often and boy did I hate confusion.  That led me to find and use most often a central point of understanding...literature and sponsor.  When in doubt?   Don't.  ((((hugs)))) smile



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