I was browsing and tripped on the title to your post.  Tripped because I came into Al-Anon as one of just a few guys where ever they were who claimed membership and my own membership was so very tentative at first.  I didn't get it and didn't know I didn't get it and only if I chose to and didn't have something better to do I stayed for one meeting after the other listening to those crazy broads who over time refused to acknowledge my grand wisdom and follow my suggestions.  Of course they knew what insanity was because they were living with very similar examples at home.  There were two "other guys" hiding out some where else and I never saw their faces or heard their ESH  (extremely self centered horse feathers).  Yes I wasn't very appreciated and overtime if I wanted special attention to recovery needs I had to be fair, honest and just and gentlemanly.  I prefaced each request for help with, "Excuse me", "can you help me please"?  Of course it was a female member I was asking for support which required the extra humility.  

In time the male population would grow some and we would gather male with male discussing recovery either outside the room or over the tailgate of a truck or down at a coffee shop.  The coffee shop population was favored and the group grew to 7 to 10 steady coffee drinkers who had legitimate recovery needs and sponsorships grew from that and then the Friday Night Men's Stag AFG meeting...yes Men's Stag which brought us a slew of female detractors pointing and saying "you cannot gender only type a family group meeting" and they wanted to attend to show power.  We understood...why should they be confined both at home and at a meeting.  We told them they could attend but would not be able to direct the shares in anyway including language used and how it was used.  No woman attended twice and no meeting gave up the principle of honest expression.  That meeting lasted for 19 years and then closed.  I loved it and the membership included doctors, bankers, upper management of a petroleum company and more...we were very interested in each others serenity.  We kept our anonymity though often attracted attention with our meeting after the meeting at local coffee shops.  One of the major things that got me and kept me was the loss of fear to speak openly about how the disease affected me holistically on a day to day basis. I believe HP was in those meetings.  

One of  many practices I got from that group of men was how to sponsor women which I still adhere to today.  

Women and Men are different...we perceive differently, feel differently, think differently and respond differently.  

Yes I have learned and practiced precious tons of recovery from the women of Al-Anon and know what it feels like to be blessed because of it.  The first 9 years of recovery for me was guided (sometimes not so gently...my consequences) by the women of Al-Anon Central Valley California and the direction into AA (I am a double) was also directed by a woman in recovery.  Still the one characteristic that kept me healing and coming back was the same characteristic that held them to the disease...enabling and codependency.  I hold all of the women and men of Al-Anon within my heart and thoughts and wishes because the program works.  

I know it works with you Tom...I've listened.   ((((hugs))))  

Good topic, Tom...

                           I blended in. I learned to see the similarities and not the differences. 

                                                                                                                              -D.

In the county where I live, there are approximately 45 meetings per week (including a two step meetings, beginners meetings, and regular meetings). About 9 years ago, a few men started a men's meeting. It averages 20 to 25 men per week. Before this, there were two, maybe three, meetings per week where men would attend. Both were "big meetings" where 40 to 60 people would show up. How many men? Maybe 5 to 10. But, once the men's meeting started -- now there's 20 to 25 men showing up regularly, weekly.

I never viewed alanon as a gender driven or based program. It is what it is. What I do find is the tone, the dynamic of the meetings -- and they are very different. The men, simply, get into it. Hard-core, problem solving focus, solution driven, and they get down and dirty into getting better. The women, seem to be more pragmatic, more lenient, more emotional. That said, I do not life generics, generalizations, stereotypes, and the like. However, there is a difference.

Very good topic.