The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT Reading for today, January,15 speaks about the erroneous assumption that once the alcoholic reaches sobriety all our problems will be solved.
The reading points out that this is an illusion. Sobriety is only the first step in building a good life. We both need to work to overcome the emotional conflicts within ourselves or we will remain at a standstill,, The reading suggests that our troubles will take on new forms because they did not stem from alcoholism but from personality flaws inour irrational reaction to life in an alcoholic family. WE must remember we have much to learn about adjusting to life so . we must not delude ourselves into thinking that sobriety is the sole goal. We must deal with each problem that comes along with the help of the 12 steps and loving interchange with friends. we must pray for the wisdom to take a rational and tolerant attitude toward whatever troubles may arise
Thanks Betty, I so agree!! People think once the addict is 'clean" WHALA!!! problems over...well??? the addict AND his /her family all have to recover, heal, change all the survival skills that they had to develope in order to cope...
My oldest is still sober, so I hear, but she doesn't need me or the program, so I have to accept and move on and do my recovery..."can't change it" so movin on!!!! I guess its another confirmation for me that I can only change /repair me....
Thank you Betty for your service, the daily and your share. I have lived in the other sides of the room, so had experience that removing the substance doesn't fix things. Both sides of the rooms stress the importance of a life-long shift where we focus on program, not perfection.
For me, there is still a level of excitement and hope when one asks for help. I choose to roll with 'glass half full' thinking/attitude, so where there is breath, there is hope. One Day at a Time, using as many program tools as necessary, I can have/keep my peace if I use this program and the tools we are gifted. I am grateful that Al-Anon is what propelled me to the 'glass half full' thinking from the previous doom and gloom.
Happy Tuesday - off to run errands as we're to get more weather a bit later this week. Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Betty for your service and the perfect reminder today!
The first time I came to these rooms, I ended up not staying b/c I did think his drug use was all his fault. But addiction is tricky. There WERE things that he had 100% control of, so yes, they were his "fault." But what I failed to look at was my part in our relationship... because I was never wrong, you see? I can look back and chuckle at myself now, but it is important to note what Betty quoted: "...because they did not stem from alcoholism but from personality flaws in our irrational reaction to life in an alcoholic family."
This too needed to be addressed. As well as for me, an honest inventory about how I feel about living intertwined with someone in recovery. They were both important.
Today I have stayed b/c of the support I get in the rooms and on this board... I stay b/c it helps me to find the wisdom to deal with others that try and steal my Serenity. I also stay b/c it keeps me humble.
Peace!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
((((Betty)))) this is probably going to be the best thought practice I will have today. I believe it completely and have for a long time. Being taught that our disease is cunning, powerful and baffling gave me an alert and going on to study the chemical and consequences of addictive use of it has taught me the true meaning of powerlessness. I learned to breakdown the picture of alcoholism in my life down into small pieces and to inspect those pieces really well to arrive at the understanding of how my life has been affected. I learned to take the description as is mentioned in the 4th step of what is required literally...searching, fearless and moral. The metaphor for searching for me is holding the brightest light over the search and inspecting all corners and closets. For fearless I will not and don't allow myself justification to cover up any wrongs I have made others pay for and moral is good and bad, right or wrong. When I am complete I now know what it is how I am to live today.
I had a monsignor hear one of my 5th steps and when I was done he said, "I have never heard anyone know themselves as well as you". I prayed that my HP would have a similar response. The objective is still progress. ((((hugs))))
