The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks for the reminder about Psycho-Cybernetics. I read it a million years ago and forgot. Have to see if I still have it, or get another copy.
I've read every self-help book and New Thought kind of thing, it seems, and lots of it has been helpful.
I tend to be a "sampler" and always moving onto the next thing.
And I always believe that "this is going to change your life" or this is going to lead to Enlightenment"
If Bo is reading this, I bet he is chewing the inside of his cheek. Wanting to yell--Go to meetings! Get a sponsor!
Easy for him to say--there are 2 meetings in this town--a Thursday noon with five women who moved from the next town because the meeting there is all young women who only want to talk about sex, and there's no cross-talk, of course, and I think some of them who are so clueless could use some.
And there's a Monday night about 35 people sitting around tables--in Oklahoma there were couches and chairs--I think tables are isolating. And most people mumble so you can't hear the other end of the room, and I can't sit on a hard chair every week w/o repercussions, and it depressed me. Too many people toughing it out, sacrificing themselves to the A in their life, it seemed. And I get bored easily. So me.
I liked David's "we didn't have sponsors''the group was sponsor to all of us." Or thereabouts. When I had my first sponsor, she never did see me in person. She was kind of bland. And the other one was a drill-sergeant type. She was an A, and her son had died an A, and she was going to make me shape up and do it on her timeline. I liked my first sponsor--she said she had sat and cried in meetings for the first three months. That, I can relate to. Having an Alanon Nazi simply brings up a lot of resistance. The second one's husband was husband's sponsor--both of them self-appointed, by the way. And he ran my husband off, for sure. I can relate to other Alanons better than I can most As. The ones on here are exceptional. As gentle as Alanons.
Note to Bo: you know I love your posts--have printed out reams of them. And I haven't had it as bad as you did, and I am so not a Type A.
Jerry, you are probably thinking--and this was addressed to me? And why?
I'm kind of all over the place more than usual since the latest festivities. And you were the inspiration. So glad you've been able to help our little friend.
Loves,
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Sister I know that I am blessed and I don't question how or why or who my HP uses to get my attention and then lead me closer to recovery and to HP also. The first 9 years of my recovery was attended to in great degree by the ladies of Central Valley Al-Anon Family Groups...It was never funny or fun as my HP tested my lasting power, my sense of sanity and humor. I was coming off of an attitude of not knowing and not knowing didn't know.
My first sponsor was female as I consciously violated the rule of "men on men, women on women" she had the courage to fire me when I wanted her to work my program for me and I was given the direction to Don.T her choice for my sponsor that was another blessing. I took and followed directions from Don that I would not have from any one else.
You are a "searcher" looking for paths to serenity and recovery that others might not see or consider using. So am I and I have taken many paths from with I have learned so much and gained experiences which have taken me thru so many doors of service which lead to similar outcomes for lots of other sufferers of alcoholism and drug addiction. I often cannot believe the paths I have been allowed to travel and how I got to them. As I was telling Don T one evening about discovery inside of my disease and using the metaphor of opening doors; he asked me once and when you opened the door what did you find and the truthful response was, "another door". His response was "keep looking". I did my 6th and last 4th step with him which contained just one 3 letter word, "ego" to which he responded, "so what's next"? I will never be done and so I come here and to meetings listening and learning and following the direction of my Higher Power. I believe that the greatest instruction from HP came from the opening of my home group meeting..."If you keep an open mind you will find help." That is without doubt the truest statement and instruction I have received in recovery. Another is the question my sponsor asked me early on..."Could you be wrong"? It's impossible for me to answer "no" to that.
Maxwell Maltz opened up an entirely wider understanding of how we are as a creation. unlimited. Keep on keeping on. ((((hugs))))
Not everything I received that left me as today...still alive have come from inside our meetings. My HP can and does use everything available to it to attain my peace of mind and serenity.
-- Edited by JerryF on Monday 7th of January 2019 09:24:41 PM
"If you keep an open mind you will find help." thank you JERRY
Its amazing!!! my mind, even tho life sucks for 70 years, my MIND is still open...I am a searcher...a researcher...google is my "go to" and asking other folks, coming here and reading you guys and my travelers next door....yea, if it "smells right" I'll try ANYthing that does not harm another creator, to help myself.....I sure hope I find My help soon....I'm tired!!!! and yea, I've been wrong LOTS of times....and its OK to me, now...if another has a better idea, or a solution that is better than mine??? I will say "thank you" and apply it.....I was EGO personafied till life beat it out of me...
Now I just want to be able to take care of me..have some fun...have PEACE and trust that I'm gonna be "OK" and be able to take care of myself...financial fear, trying to "make it alone" is a very scary place to be in....my bad choices in the past, will I ever stop paying for them??? Dunno...I've learned so much from you all.....Dunno what i would do if I could not come to MIP, my two boards and share my "stuff" and it feels good, makes me feel like I am of SOME use to be able to help and comfort others...I hate to see another suffer....Its all too familiar of a darkness...so of course I will always try to give ESH and comfort/acceptance/love to another...It puts some meaning in this life of mine....
I guess I am tired!!! Pained out!!! exhausted is more like it.....thank you for your gentle wisdom....
and you, Temple, I loved sharing with you my pics and stories about missus puppy...shes getting big..had her first rabie shot...and shes all wormed...i'm not letting her go....When I sleep on couch on my heating pad, she is tied in kitchen, next room to LR and she sleeps as close to that couch as she can....AND she lets me know when shes gotta use the restroom....I'll get you some more pics and vids of all 3 of them...they are my only comfort of late...I'm in my bedroom now , on the bed, using this computer and the older two are by the bed, on their nice fluffy thick towels----snoring---crashed out----some company, LOL
I owe so much to Don T. Have you read Carlos Castenados on Don Juan, his Yaqui I have totally forgotten how to spell that--slippery
slope time? Indian mentor. I will look up the name of the book. Anyway, When I read Don T., I always think Don Juan. Similar very pragmatic, no-nonsense approach to life.
I think all of the great Philosophies and Religions have a common theme: Get Over Yourself, and You Are Not It--you just think you are.
I like how we think our Consciousness is running the show--just from a localized perspective. But No, actually, the Subconscious is--it does, however, take programming from us, so if we
feed it negativity, it will produce negative results. The Silva Mind Control people say Cancel-Cancel to any negative thought or statement they make.
I know it isn't conference approved, and I get a lot from Alanon by osmosis.
One way I am different from you good guys--Slogans drive me nuts. I don't know why. Sound like cliches? I know they work for those of you who use them religiously.
Tell me--do I have a case of terminal uniqueness? Probably. I was certainly different from everybody else growing up--but I could enjoy others' gifts and talents.
Speaking of Philosophy--I was just rereading what I'd written to see what I thought about whatever it was--In Philosophy 101, when we got to the Egocentric Hedonists, I waited after class and told my prof that I thought I had finally found a philosophy I could embrace. I thought the poor man was going to have a stroke. Hey--just kidding! Why is everyone so serious? But the Stoics certainly held no appeal for me.
Loves,
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Well, maybe they thought you were a little bit slow and needed the help. But the group picked out a sponsor for me? My back would have gone up a tad.
And now she has left Alanon--someone must have gotten on her last nerve--it can happen. We are all so hurt, and sometimes we take things personally--or in general, if it persists long enough
There was a saint here in town--well at the meeting where the women from the other town came to avoid the sex-dominated meeting in their own town--I asked her if she'd sponsor me. She had a very ill husband and others she was sponsoring, and turned me down. Then I went to lunch with the five. Got there a little late and a woman who was in the group but missed the meeting glared at me.
I can't remember what book it was I read--it was about the time Games People Play came out, but not that book--and a man said if the way was barred, he took another path. Sounded sensible to me. The kid had broken/spoiled something and the Dad said to himself, "I guess I'm not meant to do/have/eat/whatever today."
I took that as my guide the time I decided to go to OA, because I had 10 pounds I couldn't get off (5'3--104 in high school--small frame) And I knew that to somebody with an extra 30 or 40 I looked "normal" and I also knew what felt good to me and got me into my-size clothing.
So--The church where OA was held in Tulsa was off a highway--I could see it as I circled and tried to sort out the traffic lanes at the intersection near it. This was pre-Google maps, mind.
Made it the third try--came in 10 minutes late, looking like a Normie crashing the overweight people's meeting.. And 20 pairs of eyes turnefd around and glared at me.
And I told myself, "I guess I am not meant to attend OA meetings--at least not here, not now."
Hugs,
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
hey ((((((((temple)))))))) soon as I can move around enough to stay up with them, I'll get you some pics...I'll put them on one of your posts so you see them.....today is going to be MAYBE letting the power mower cut some tuffs of grass...yea, its winter and we've been mild enough to warrant a "spot mowing" ...easier to find their "processed food" when lawn is cut short...
and just LIGHT moving around...Doc appt on Thurs for annual check up....but yea, its getting on that time to show you missus puppy growing into a 5 month old who loves her toys and wears out the older gal, playing with her, but older gal seems to like it as she is very fond of this puppy...the other puppy has a playmate that can keep up with her now....
.I wish i was a doggie.....all my day would be is: protecting the property and my missus....digging the occasional hole...and what fun it is chasing those funny looking critters that have those long bushy tails that can run like hell...chasing the occasional feral kitty who also can out run me......eating good food...playing with my toys....playing with my mates....running around in this large yard....AND when my missus brings me inside for quiet time, i get a big biscuit with peanut butter on it for taste....AND posing for pictures for our Missus ((((Temple))))) who loves us!!!!! yea, its GREAT to be a DOG!!!!!
((((((((((((((((Temple)))))))))))))))))))))))) 'Ive always said I'd like to come back as a cat with someone like me for an owner.
****************************************
Oh I love it!!! you as a kitty, me as a pitbull!!! with owners like US, LOL AND we gotta be neighbors so we can play!!!!!
I cheated!!! the grass was in "patches" so I fired up the weed wacker and one by one, "Wacked" those patches down, and edged the sides....the dogs loved jumping over the WW as I "leveled" my yard, only to see many sausage sized deposits that I had missed a construction guy who is fixing our street came over to admire the dogs...all THREE of them let him know under no uncertain terms that they would "eat" him if he came closer to me...
It was sunny...warm...I'm moving much better today, but "EASY does it" is my slogan for today and till I heal...I have begun the EFT tapping, with my Florence Scovel Shinn style positive self talk,, talking loving talk to my spirit, mind (all parts) and to my body....
began last night and I slept pretty good...I'll do anything to change my vibrations to more positive...PnP came up with the suggestion re: tapping and its so funny...I see her post to me (love that girl) and I started last night, so my highest self who is open, so open to better ideas, said "YEA....see??? you know that it must be right..."
(what you, PnP and Jerry suggested) , I am doing it all... I feel BETTER today...I can move... not gonna go to gym, just work out here at house...MAYBE tomorrow, I might go for a swim, but its a day to day process..If my instincts say "no" then its home exercise which is very adequate........
PICTURES coming soon....Everyone who has 4 legs is crashed out for their naps...They figure they earned it... I mean jumping over weed wackers and threatening to eat the construction worker who approached me for a chat over the fence is enough work for today
He's probably used to it. Wouldn't you have loved to me a little mouse in the room at those Alanon meetings where it was Jerry and a room full of Elder Women. Oh my.
I think I told you about EFT years ago. But that's okay. They say it is good for everything.
I know all this good stuff that I forget to use, because I have moved onto the next bright, shiny object.
So glad you are better.
And the Pup Patrol are crashed out, having given their all in the yard games.
Hugs!
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
((((((((Temple)))))))))))) I think I told you about EFT years ago. But that's okay. They say it is good for everything.
****************************************
OMG....YES, I remember, now that you mention it because when PnP brought it up, I thought "hmmmm this sounds familiar" but I could not place it.....Oh too funny!!! It has come up again for me...that is further proof that I need to do it..and I am...tonight session #2....
I am gonna take a shower and go to goodwill to just browse adn say I did something, LOL...its only 2 mi. away from me and fun to chat up the regulars and see what goodies they have......LOL @ the picture of being a "mouse in the room with Jerry and his alanon meetings with the older women" hahahaha...
thanks for the giggle....I'm off to shower....yea, pup patrol, they will protect yours truly...toys all over the joint......When I get back, i'll tidy up so they can mess it up.....favorite places for toys: kitchen...parlor to some degree....office big time and MY room....so yea, I don't run this house, I just pay the bills.....
...