The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The sentence that jumped out to me from today's reading: "I began to believe that my life could amount to more than a string of painful days to be survived." Like me, the author came to Al-Anon feeling desperate and lonely.... but then paid attention to members in meetings, worked the steps, got a sponsor, read literature daily, and reached out to other members by phone. Gradually change began to take place, and the author had resources to deal with difficult situations... growing in self-confidence and serenity.
Today's reminder: Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life.
Quote: "Daily vigilance will turn out to be a small price to pay for my peace of mind." -- The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage.
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This is one of those sharings that makes me say, "How did they know my story?" What drove me to Al-Anon was the dilemma of an alcoholic marriage, and the thought that I would never have peace of mind again. Everything I had tried had not worked. I was dreading each new day, each moment.
When I found Al-Anon, I decided to do whatever the program said I should do. Finally I had a new plan, not one invented by me, but inspired by people with successful experience. I decided to overlook certain things -- like that pesky "God" word -- because at each meeting I hear that I can take what I like and leave the rest, and I am allowed to embrace a higher power of my understanding. As they say at the end of all the meetings I attend ... "It works if you work it." It is working for me.
I seldom missed a meeting. Latterly I had to space out my activities more... even learn to step back a little.
I spent the first years as the only male in a group. I had to 'read between the lines' somewhat- but always looked for the similarities, not the differences.
For some funny reason the group assigned me a sponsor. I got much of the help from my sponsor's hubby; an AA member. Maybe, looking back that got around the rules- having an AA member, and a couple as sponsors.
This gave me a very strong respect for AA.
I felt like I was in survival mode for many years. And in victim mode too. But slowly the love and peace of the programme was wearing away at my resistance.
I actually had 'a white light' experience before I joined. At about that time I went to my first AA-Alanon sharing meeting- in the city. And from that I was singled out- and spoken to by an Alanon member. I sign of where I needed to go. This memory has re-emerged for me, as ah share. I do so with gratitude.
So, for me the G..-word- I always felt a bit reticent about this- on behalf of other people. I embraced this for myself. And I often felt that my Hp spoke to me through other people, including non-believers.
I have spent over half my life in Alanon. My mantra today comes from Alanon Concept 4... ..."Participation is the key to harmony". Meditation on this principal proved to be a turning point for me. I always tried my best to create harmony all around me. I had done so for an early age.
As the ideas and principles of Alanon began to seep in- I realised that internal harmony and serenity was going to have a better effect, long term. That my condition and the feelings around my personal space would gradually improve.
My communication skills improved too, over time. The anger diminished.
I used to think that life was a sentence or a threat to be survived..that was it!!!
Now with recovery, I see a chance at doing more than just surviving life..."putting up with it" until my end....There was a British comedy, "Waiting for God" starring Stephane Cole and Graham Crowden....Two wonderful "older folks" who were in a fictitious nursing home, Posh, very nice, retirement flats for "rich old folks" who were ambulatory and could care for themselves , but needed assisted living...the "home" was called Bay Meadows..The oldsters were two very opposites....Graham, played the part of an old guy who had tons of love, spunk, hope , and never thought about the end of his life...he had FUN!!! He "took life on" with both hands and a big grin, .... Cole played his sorta "girlfriend" who was a pessimistic , cranky, "talk to me wrong and I am bashing you with my cane" old, sorta bitter gal. but SHE WAS waiting for g-d to "come get her, she was ready" the show was funny and I could relate because for a long time, I , too , was the cranky, "in your face" pessimist who was waiting for "her Hp to come get her"
Now I feel like the male character..yea, i am getting older, but so what?? I CAN do life and DO it "OK" AND have some fun in the meantime....
I am becoming more homogenized with my wounded selves and my CORE self..I am "coming together" and accepting me AS IS and I am not so panicky and angry when i get a problem I cannot solve...yea, I need to breathe...step back...wait...let the feelings pass through me...but I CAN work my options, I CAN do more than just survive and wait for my end....
Great reminder Attending alanon meetings, consistently using the simple tools such as the slogans, meetings, telephone calls all added up to my growth and ability to handle life on life' terms.
Thank you alanon and thank you Freetime fo your service.
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. I too arrived broken, sad, anxious, and much more. I resisted that I needed to fix me and it took me some time to accept Al-Anon. Yet, because I did and continue to do so one day at a time, my life and I are way better for it.
There is no suggestion made to me by another member of Al-Anon that did not serve me well. Whether it was 'keep coming back' or meetings, steps, sponsor, literature, etc. - it helped me in the moment and continues to do so. I am forever grateful for all who came before me and their honesty and willingness to keep coming back for all of us!
Happy Friday all - the sun is shining here and we've got a warm day planned (50 degrees in January is a gift!). I ran some errands and have some more to do! Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Freetime...