The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
as part of keeping things simple, I applied it to my step ONE
the first thing I had to see re: step one is where I had to ADMIT I was powerless over my codependency and anything else, for that matter, that is outside of me
In step one, after a struggle, I accepted my powerlessness over anything outside of me..I was powerless over my compulsions, my fears, my acting out,, my anger, my life had become unmanageable, trying to use sheer will to run it..I was not making my life "work"..I was powerless over other people..Powerless over what the universe was working in my life..Before recovery, I only believed in control..at any price..I had to be in control--of EVERYTHING...I fought the fact that I was powerless over much of my life..Finally, after getting beaten up enough, I began to accept my powerlessness..I saw what power I DID have..That was the power to make choices..I can choose to walk away when I am not able to overcome something..I can reach out when lonely..I can CHOOSE and I have the power over how I live my life....
So, as a metaphysics student, , I made the choice to give those things over which I have no control, NON resistance..That can mean walking away, or stepping back and trying when my mind is clear, or getting help, if possible..research more...My ACTION is I will look to see what I really have control over and what I don't and to realize that I only have control over me and my thoughts and how I perceive and respond to a situation
So, Simply put..Anything OUT side of the circle I drew around my own 2 feet is where I am NOT in control..I can only control ME and what I want to do with my life..Where I want to be at..How hard I want to work my program and reap its rewards, and my commitment to being a better human being
Admitting we are powerless is very, very hard sometimes... that is why this program is so good! Your visual of the chalk circle is perfect... I sometimes actually visualize me drawing a blue chalk circle around MY feet!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((((((((((((Betty))))))))))))))))) I am always pleased when you can get a blessing from anything I share, LOL....thats funny...You posting the step and here I am reflecting on good ole step one.....
As my neighbors party around me in and outside of their houses, I am ready for the shower and meditations and bed....I'll probably be the only one on the street tomorrow who has no hangover.....arghhhh i remember those days of self medicating my pain rather than to face it like now........booooy I don't EVER want to go back to the messed up little lady I was b4 program....next month, I celebrate 15 years in program.....15 years of being a better me.....ONE step at a time. and I feel that the good times are just beginning as I grow up and be willing to SEE that I do deserve my good....
