Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

lgnutah · Senior Member

Not working a program, but she's trying

JerryF · ~*Service Worker*~

Good on you Ignutah that is the most valuable intention as from being an enabler getting into their program was and is my addiction, drive and compulsion. I have to place myself in the alcoholics shoes and spirit and ask myself "what are they going thru at this time...mind, body, spirit and emotions and how would I be feeling it" I couldn't feel and work my alcoholic/addicts recovery and mine at the same time. My sponsors were gold and still are in keeping me on my side of the street and to my own program.

You know how this works and it works when you work it. In support. ((((hugs)))) aww

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Ignutah))) - good to see you and great way to use your program. I am sending positive thoughts, prayers and hugs for both you and your daughter. I believe practicing this program, as best we can, one day at a time is how we learn what works for our scenario vs. what needs tweeking....

My son is also 'dancing' with recovery and I am often back to biting my tongue, practicing the pause and repeating the serenity prayer in my mind to refrain from offering advice, opinion, solution, other. It does get easier with practice, but I am grateful for the concept of progress, not perfection.

Hang in there and keep coming back! You got this!

Bo · ~*Service Worker*~

lgnutah wrote:
A few months ago, my AD had a "hit bottom" type event. Since that time, I can see she has been working very hard to make some changes, to live a life that she finds more meaningful and rewarding.
I listen, try not to tell her what she "should" be doing, thinking or feeling. I am trying to be there for her in a loving, supportive, encouraging way, but actively working on keeping my focus on my own side of the street. I have been trying to "practice the pause".
I am just taking this one day at a time.

That's great -- everything you are doing is great! Keep focusing on YOU. Keep working YOUR PROGRAM. I admire and respect your efforts and everything you are doing! Keep up the great work!!!

Bo · ~*Service Worker*~

Bo wrote:
lgnutah wrote:
A few months ago, my AD had a "hit bottom" type event. Since that time, I can see she has been working very hard to make some changes, to live a life that she finds more meaningful and rewarding.
I listen, try not to tell her what she "should" be doing, thinking or feeling. I am trying to be there for her in a loving, supportive, encouraging way, but actively working on keeping my focus on my own side of the street. I have been trying to "practice the pause".
I am just taking this one day at a time.

That's great -- everything you are doing is great! Keep focusing on YOU. Keep working YOUR PROGRAM. I admire and respect your efforts and everything you are doing! Keep up the great work!!!

By the way...everything you are doing...is ALANON. It is what we learn, what the alanon program is really all about. I love it.

mamalioness · ~*Service Worker*~

Good job! I like how you are keeping the focus on you and being loving and encouraging yet keeping your hands off. Thats what I call good recovery work.

Bo · ~*Service Worker*~

mamalioness wrote:
Good job! I like how you are keeping the focus on you and being loving and encouraging yet keeping your hands off. Thats what I call good recovery work.

Absolutely...thank you for expressing this so well. I so completely agree!!!

PosiesandPuppies · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Ignutah))))

Thank you for being here! You are helping to show others that "this" can be done! As a parent, I know how hard it is to just stop with the "managing" of your child's life! Throw addiction in there, and it can seem impossible. But with Al-Anon, it can be done... and YOU my friend are doing it well!

Peace & Love,

P&P

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene