The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about self-care. The writer used to think that being good to herself meant indulging in food, shopping, and "fun" activities. But these habits led to an unsatisfying life. She found more challenging but more satisfying ways to be good to herself, which put serenity first. Now she chooses healthy food and exercise, good money management, dancing, art, friends, and practicing her Al-Anon program. She likes her lifestyle now.
Today's reminder: I deserve to make choices that make me feel good about myself. It may take a while to see results, but I am building a life that promotes my health and self-esteem. It's worth the wait.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice." -- George Eliot
In the past, I would always hear (and read in women's magazines) that if you feel down, just take a bubble bath and get a manicure. Well, if that was self-care, it wasn't going to fix what was bothering me. To dig myself out of the hole of despair was going to take a lot more than that. I used to feel guilty for choosing myself when my qualifier was suffering. But I had to learn to put on my own oxygen mask, and make that my priority.
Today, I am doing almost exactly the same as the writer of this page -- and getting the same good results. I spend a lot of time on Al-Anon service (best job I ever had!), stay in contact with good friends, do exercise I enjoy, take time to prepare food for myself, make my home comfortable and beautiful for me. I am blessed and grateful that I can choose to do these things.
Self-care is an inside job. It starts with "self."
At first, I, to fill that self-care was just doing frivolous things and more materialistic than taking care of my mind and body.
Now self-care is working my program, I too have an exercise program for my physical health that I do each day. Maybe one day off to rest my muscles but I have my own gym equipment at home and I have two gyms that I go to to swim and practice my tennis and play basketball etc. and just enjoy my work out
I enjoy meditating and practicing my program and just being myself. I do self talk and cognitive behavior modification, I am making myself slow down and pay attention to what Im doing. And I do feel a lot better.
Yes I go out and do things fun like browsing the thrift shops for what treasures I can find. And what is within my budget. I also give my service to MIP and I really enjoy it. Ive changed a lot for the better. Im not that aggressive, my way or the highway, black-and-white thinker, that was full of anger and rage. I can look through the other persons telescope and even if I disagree with them I can still see what they are saying And respect them as I speak and walk my truth. I live and let live now. I dont get all bent out of shape if somebody does not like me or wants to interact with me, I just figure we are not a match and no big deal MoveOn. I dont fight life like I used to, I am practicing nonresistance a lot more. I am not where I want to be, but I am a long way from where I used to be
This program is a miracle. I like me a lot more now than I used to LOL
Thank you for your service and for this good morning share that I get to meditate on today.
Thank you, Freetime for you service, and I love both yours and Rose's shares!
In the beginning, I used to do "nice" things for me as a way of "getting back" at my AH. I look back and think, "Why would you do that?" He never really knew you did them, so what was the point?" Yes, I got some nice things - that our house budget paid for - or there was some good self-care (like massages and such), but was it truly self-care if I was doing it with negativity in my heart? NO!
So yea, I knew how to spend money, but not to really put myself first... my needs, my health first. It is a learning process. I am currently wanting to get back into Zumba. I used to do it all the time! Loved it! But with two jobs, I am finding it hard to find the time. I know that where there is the will, there is a way, though... so I just have to decide to "pull that trigger" and carve out the time.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
PnP, I like Zumba too! Not sure I am ready for a full hour class, but I have some DVDs that I practice at home. The same with yoga: classes when they fit my schedule, then other times at home.
Thank you Freetime for your service, the daily and your share. Thanks to all for the shares and ESH above me....
I am begrudgingly engaging in a new level of self-care forced because of an unexpected surgery last Saturday. I normally get up, do my daily, get my coffee, run 7 miles and then start my day - almost in that order, sometimes a bit different....I often then later in the day work-out arms or legs or abs or gluts or ...... I am a super structured, super disciplined person who eats clean.
I am not allowed to run, lift more than 10 lbs, and struggle to stay awake for more than 2 hours now. It's not forever, but goodness - it's been an adjustment. I am so independent that asking for help has 'felt new' again and let's just say I am doing my best and feel like a newcomer!
I love, love, love my soaking bubble baths each day. I don't care about manicures or pedicures but that warm bath sure relaxes me/muscles and it's also a 'no' for the present time. My normal meal planning, meal prepping and eating has gone completely out the window as I have no appetite and it hurts to eat. Thank God for liquid foods and very soft foods - that's been my life for a while.
I have already learned what happens when I over-do things. I went to the grocery store Tuesday and made a huge pot of soup/bone broth. I took Wednesday and Thursday to undo all that. On Wednesday, I just wanted a piece of buttered toast and had an emotional melt-down when the butter dish was empty - it was hard enough to spread room-temperature butter - how in the world was I going to do it with cold butter? I ate dry toast and just cried it out.....kind of like spilled milk!
So - Self-Care for me is literally very, very basic one day at a time. Get up, consider clothes, consider shower, brush my teeth, find fluids, take medicines, back to bed. Rinse, Repeat. I've had to let go of expectations, schedules, holidays, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. and it just doesn't feel normal or right at all. Yet - thank God I have this program and all of you to remind me that I am powerless and just need to do the next right thing even when it seems lame, lazy, small, etc. My life, health and future depends on that right now.
(((Hugs))) to all for being a part of my family - today's reading reminds me it's OK to just be me, human, sick, broken and slow....for now!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
To say this is a huge change for you is kind of an understatement! LOL! The good news is you've kept yourself in such a healthy physical and mental state up to your surgery, that healing and getting back to your normal is only a matter of time! Yeah, it takes longer to heal as we age, but body conditioning prior to surgery is a big part of the healing process!!
Bone broth is so very, very good for you!! Perhaps you will need to do the "boxed" kind for now!
I would wish for you faster healing, but we all know that's in HP's hands!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
While I am very grateful for healing in/of itself, it does stop you in your tracks - at least it has for me! I am grateful that I got to my weekly meeting this morning and hang with my pals - just what the healing doctor ordered. While loving, caring family is awesome at times of need, I got a well-earned, well-deserved break today. Got the same planned for tomorrow and Monday! (((Hugs))) - thanks for the healing thoughts girl - will get there...One Day at a Time!
Exercise for me is central to my emotional well-being. I have so much energy I really need to burn a ton to sleep at night. I love to start my day with raising my heart rate and releasing those endorphins - it's just a natural high that is better than real highs! I have been blessed with good genes, and have watched my parents be fairly active most of their lives, and they were able to hold off many ailments and physical issues by just moving. I watched, listened and learned. I have heard that sitting and dormancy is the new smoking and believe it as I've also watched elders who were less active, had more disease and passed earlier. While I have no desire to live forever, I do hope to live healthily as long as I'm here!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I dont know what I would do if I could not exercise. I swim, play tennis, play basketball, Im not that much into running because I get bored but I do raise the heart rate up and I do do tantamount to running, I remember when my daughter was living a couple of years ago in a flat 3 miles away from my house exactly and I would run to her house and this was maybe two years ago before they moved out of town, she was Exactly 3 miles away and I would run it and no problems at all. I didnt use the streets I used The grass up by the sidewalks, and it was a nothing effort for me. I love to be in action playing basketball running up and down the court, playing tennis chasing down balls, Ive managed to keep myself in good shape and Im very proud of that aspect. Now that I am out of my 60s I have not changed really at all, I can still play tennis as hard and play Basketball as hard as I used to, I can still out play people in their 30s and 40s LOL so theres a lot to be said about exercise.
Not that I ever had a weight problem but just keeping in shape, my heart rate is something like low 90s over 60s, thats unheard of for a senior citizen. So Im reaping the dividends now, if I get a cold, I shake it off very quickly, my heart rate is that of a 40-year-old according to my doctor.
So Posies , Get that body moving girl LOL it also, exercise, helps you release feel good endorphins. When I am stressed out Ill swim back-and-forth in that great big Olympic size pool or Ill challenge somebody to a good basketball game or a tennis match and be running and jumping at TopSpeed for like an hour and I am not stressed when I get done LOL.
Im in the my first week without junk food. Friday I would binge on the Reeses buttercups and I have decided to stop. For some reason Friday is the day I go nuts and eat white products and junk and sugary stuff and so now I am committed to not taking that first bite because I had to except that one Reese is Too much and 20 of them is not enough.
