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The active alcoholic in my life has been on one today. Shouting at me, slamming doors in my face etc. He's shut himself in the spare room now - which is actually probably a good thing.
I've been trying to stay calm and pleasant, well behaved through all this. It's really hard not to let it upset me deep down though. I feel all out of sorts now. I've read my book and cuddled the dog. I still feel tearful and my stomach is churning.
Any ideas? How to you keep your serenity in an insane situation?
Hi lil I have been there and am so very sorry that you are enduring this form of insanity. Reciting the serenity prayer helped as well as attending a face to face meeting and receiving support from like minded members.
We have on line meetings here as well so please check out the chat room for times . Reading Alanon literature also helps.
Please do keep coming back.
I am sorry you are in this situation. I have felt that way too. Sometimes I found that physical activity - like taking a walk -- helped me to calm down in the moment. If it's too late or bad weather for getting outside, maybe planning something for tomorrow would work, or making a gratitude list. I agree with Betty's suggestion that meetings and talking with people who understand can be a great support.
I am glad you have a dog -- I've found animals always listen, and they don't offer unwanted advice. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Aloha Lil99 and have been there and done that also along with other better things I learned in the meeting rooms of Al-Anon. Most helpful and reasonable was to create distance from the trouble...go to a meeting or go one on one with another member and/or my sponsor. Like minded people not only bring me peace of mind and serenity they also bring me new ideas and experiences I can have to learn from and duplicate. The second step says "Came to believe a Power greater than myself could restore me to SANITY and the definition I have for sanity today is "The continuous and orderly presence of mind". Serenity and sanity for me have often been synonymous. Keep on keeping on Lil99 ...prayers and healthy thoughts from Hawaii. (((((hugs)))))
(((Lil99))) - I hope today finds peace in your world. I too often put distance between myself and the chaos. A meeting, a long walk with the dog, a trip to the grocery store, a visit to a friend's home.....departing seemed to bring about calm often in my setting. I also made sure I had a plan B for those times when I did not want to return home.
Keep coming back - you are not alone!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Lil99, glad to hear you have a meeting soon. IamHere's post reminded me of the helpfulness of having a Plan B. I found it very comforting and empowering to have a "go bag" packed, and a list of places I could go.
I detach...physically/geographically...and then when I do that, I can easily detach emotionally. When drama, chaos, turmoil, and havoc is literally around you...it is very often impossible to detach, not be the collateral damage, not be in the line of fire, and so on.
Once you detach...you have innumerable options.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Lots of great esh givin here,
Your sounding great Ll99,keep coming back,this is a we program,we are all on this journey together.glad you found us.....hugs...LU
Lil check out Al-Anon World Service site and the literature store...we have lots of super useful literature that we use in meetings and at home also. Being insane is a choice I no longer make and you don't have to either. ((((hugs))))
