The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Reading your posts made me cry. I thank you for all your love and support. Here's an uodate.
Hubby got home around 8 pm, and when he got out of the cab, I ran into his arms. I spent time talking and praying to God to keep both of them safe. It was incredibly hard, but I asked God to wrap his arms around us all and guide us.
It turned out that when he left me the note, Bob's neighbor found him and told him that he was dead. He rushed over there and found him with the needle still stuck in his arm (herione, not meth as I suspected) on the floor. He pulled the needle out and performed CPR. He called 911. Why his neighbor did call 911 is the question? But anyway, he got a pulse. The ambulance came, but because Bob didn't have any insurance they wanted to know who was going to pay for it before they transported him! Hubby offered to pay for it, and they took him to the hospital. He stayed with him, and they transferred him over to another hospital that specializes in cancer treatment as they suspect that he might have cancer as well. Once they did the test there, they took him back to the rehab center.
Bob is in a bad way, and they weren't sure about him making it through the night as this is the 15 time he died and came back. But they are pretty sure that if he does this again he will die. He may not make it now. They promised to call if anything happened. So no news at this point is good news.
Hubby is having a hard time. He has what sounds like survivors guilt to me. He can't figure out why he keeps surviving despite the chronic relapses, why he has been able to save his friends lives, only for them to die. He has done this to 3 other people and eventually they have all succumb to their disease. He's cried alot, and even laughed a bit at the calm day he was suppose to have. He feels guilty for not calling me from the hospital. He called his Dad and Dad reminded him that the reason why he has saved these friends is because that's what God wants him to do. Hubby isn't sure how many more times he has the heart to do this. Maybe the reason we got his first disability check early was so that he had the money in order to get to Bob.
I pray and hope this will be a wake up call for both of them. Maybe just maybe this will shake hubby up enough to have the recovery I know he wants. He hates this disease with all his being, and he keeps on fighting.
I'm sorry for the misinformation, but was so glad that I was able to come here and share with you all. Please still keep praying for Bob and hubby. We're not out of the woods yet with Bob and this has shaken hubby more than usual.
Thank you for all your love and prayers. Keep them coming. Love and blessings to all of you. I love you all very much.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Glad hub is doing ok, hope all is a little better with you and Bob's family. I wanted to reply about your hubby fighting this awful disease and relapse.
I truely do not beleive my hub wants to stay on this merry-go-round of addiction. He also has relapsed on more than one occasion. He fights every day to stay sober.
I pray for you to have peace and sobriety. May your husband find the peace of mind he needs to fight. You and your hub are in my thoughts and prayers.
What a horrible story about the ambulance driver wanting to know who is going to pay. They are supposed to take the person to the hospital regardless of the ability to pay. After all that is what ambulances are for.
I know a lot about survivor guilt. I had that in a really bad way with my famiy of origin. Then I made contact with them 5 years ago and found a lot of resolution. I do hope your husband pursues his own recovery and realises he is worth saving and does not have to die as well. I can understand that kind of loyalty and self image where you don't believe you have the right to live. I felt tremendously guilty my whole life that my mother lived such a deprived existence I think I lived deprived out of loyalty to her in many many ways.
I hope your husband can share about this at meetings. I have seen lots of people rally round in program when one member relapses. Of course in al-anon we have our own relapses too and we have to remember that. I have had many many lows in my own issues feeling suicidal feeling like giving up and feeling very very angry/rageful at the A.
Wow, I am at a loss for words. So I will just say, I'm proud of your Hubby for his courage to try to help his friends the best he can. And proud of you too. Glad you keep coming and sharing with us!
I pray that your friend recovers and that this incident will help he and others find their own true recovery.
Thanks for the update. Its understandable about the misinformation, we respond to what we have at the time, therefore your feelings were valid and real. I hope that Bob can pull through this if it is Gods will. I hope I won't offend you but I'm wondering if perhaps Bob intentionally overdosed if he knew about or suspected the cancer. He may feel he just hasn't got the strength to endure anymore. I mention this as he may need extra support or professional help if this is the case. I'm aware of this scenario happening for someone-else. As it turns out they got recovery and the cancer is in remission, so there is still hope.
I can't begin to imagine how awful this must be for you and your husband. I too suspect your husband was there to save his friends as this was Gods will. I hope it will encourage your hubby to continue to pursue his own recovery and not be too much for him to bear.
I will continue to pray. May God be with you all, providing strength and comfort and healing.
Kari, Yours is a heart wrenching story, and all I know to do is pray for all of you. What an ordeal. May you all find peace and health and Kari, keep coming back.
Hubby offered to pay for it, and they took him to the hospital. He stayed with him, and they transferred him over to another hospital that specializes in cancer treatment as they suspect that he might have cancer as well. Once they did the test there, they took him back to the rehab center.
