The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading from "The Language of Letting Go," By M. Beattie jumped out at me, and stuck with me throughout my day. So much so that I asked permission to post it. I think it may help others who like me, find themselves in the "second-half" of their life and are without their spouse who was the main bread-winner. If I look back at my life honestly, this was the fear I carried even living with my AH!
"Sometimes, there is not enough money to make ends meet, much less afford any luxuries. Peple may tell us to do a budget, and we chuckle. The expenses we need to pay for survival surpass the income. We look at the situation, shake our heads, and say, "No way."
Many of us had had to live through these situations. This is not the time to panic;this is not the time to despair.
Panic and desperation will lead to bad judgement and desperate moves. This is the time to substitute faith for fear. This is the time to trust God to meet our needs. Take life one day and one need at a time. Use your survival skills positively. Know your possibilities are not limited by the past or by your present circumstances.
Examine any blocks that may be stopping the flow of money in your life. Do you have an attitude, an issue, a lesson that may be yours to change or learn? Maybe the lesson is a simple one of faith. In Biblical times, it is said that Jesus walked on the water. It is said His followers could, too, but the moment they let fear take over, they sank.
During financial hard times, we can learn to "walk on water" with money issues. If we make out a budget, and expenses, do your best, then let go. Trust your Source to supply your needs. If an emergency arises, and there is no cash to meet the need, look beyond your wallet. Look to your source. Claim a Divine supply, an unlimited supply, for all you need.
Do your part. Strive for an attitude of financial responsibility in thought and action. Ask for Divine Wisdom. Listen to God's leadings. Then let go of your fears and your need to control. We know that money is a necessary part of being alive and living; so does our Higher Power.
"God, bring any blocks and barriers within me concerning money to the surface. Help me take care of myself financially. If money is tight, I will dispel fear and learn to "walk on water" concerning finance issues. I will not use this attitude to justify irresponsibility. I will do my part, including letting go of fear and trusting you to do the rest."
I think I needed to share this b/c at first, I was so far away from having FAITH that anything would work in my favor, let alone the financial aspects of being alone. I chose to substitute HP for "God," but having that "faith" that the money would come from somewhere was such a roadblock for me. I really had to examine the blocks!! I would just read over and over, "This is not the time to panic; this is not the time to despair." I had to admit to myself that I could only 'do my best'... that perfection would not live in this space right now... and it was OK. This was truly hard for me, b/c I have always taken great pride in meeting my financial responsibilities... of being "credit worthy."
Then the "AHA!" moment... I had always taken PRIDE... so there it was. My block. I had to become humble and ask for help. So I slowly learned how. Thank HP for my parents... for without them, we would be homeless. I humbled myself and asked for all kinds of help, from various agencies. Most of all, I had to "do my part." I had to learn how to manage this with faith, healthy action, and to LET GO of the desire to CONTROL.
For me, it is very difficult to separate "Doing my part" from the desire to "Control." They go hand in hand... but they don't always play well with each other. LOL!
So today, this seems to be the biggest reason I need Al-Anon... the constant work on myself... to have Faith and Humility... One Day at a Time!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Hi PNP Thanks for posting this powerful reminder I have needed to have "Faith "regarding money first when my hubby passed and I was a stay at home mom and then when my son relapsed after i retired from my job This Faith in HP was not in vain as I can see HP's hand in all I accomplished
Love how the reading does not allow us o simply sit back and live in fear as I would have done prior to progaram Taking appropriate healthy actions certainly paid off.
(((PnP))) - great share and awesome truths. I had tons of fear about money, survival, savings, retirement, etc. for many, many years. Probably because I was taught that income/savings were part of how success is defined (FOO) and partially because when active in the disease, I was homeless for a while. It was easy for me to trust God/HP for this disease, but admitting powerlessness over 'other' was a bit slower for me. I now do see and believe that all will be OK no matter what.
I am financially responsible and do not live beyond my means. My hope is that I've gifted my kids with a different definition of success that title, income, etc. I do fully trust in my HP to provide what I need when I need it so long as I'm doing the next right thing. I have an aunt who has since passed who used to say often/always that, "If you are worrying, you are not praying." I rolled my eyes for years until I 'got it' - faith does replace fear when we practice it! And it's difficult to be full of fear/worry if we're praying for God's will. (Slow learner at times...I can be!)
Thanks for sharing!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
