The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feelings and emotions. The author shares that when they first came to Al-Anon, they thought of anger, resentment, fear, etc. as negative emotions. Through work in the program, the author realized that emotions and feelings are not good or bad, they just are what they are and they are a part of the author. The author realized over time that sometimes, good results came from anger or fear or resentment.
Today's Reminder: Feelings may not be comfortable, but that doesn't make them bad, With a change of attitude, I have choices about what to do with my feelings. Anything can be used for my good if I allow it. Recognizing this opportunity may take every ounce of imagination I have, but maybe that's why God gave me imagination to begin with.
Today's Quote: "My feelings are neither right nor wrong but are important by virtue of being mine." ...In All Our Affairs
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I spent years trying to suppress, deny, ignore, and get rid of negative emotions. I thought that fear, anger, resentment, etc. were negative, harmful Feelings and ought to get rid of them. I had falsely recognized them as character defects. I thought I needed to work to get rid of them. Today, when I read the reading, I can recognize a lot of good in my life that came as a result of these so-called "negative" emotions. Now, I know it is not the emotion that is good or bad. What I chose to DO about the emotions, about the situations that cause the emotions, is what is important. Do I feel angry and decide to make positive change because of it? As long as I act in accordance with my beliefs and don't set out to be hurtful or cruel, then the result of that emotion can be positive.
I hope you make today a great day, everyone!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi great topic. I know that prior to program my go to tool in processing emotions was "denial." I also would often change my negative feelings into anger because it was the easiest for me to express. Practicing program I learned how to say what i mean , draw healthy boundaries, feel my feelings and share them in a appropriate manner .
Thanks for your service
Thank you Skorpi, for the daily... I really chuckled at your "maybe that's why God gave me an imagination to begin with." I saw that as an "AHa!" moment!
Thank you Betty for your share... I know that for awhile there I went straight to anger b/c it was the easiest emotion to deal with. The sadness over the loss of my partnership with my spouse was too profound. However, by being here, working the steps, I began to realize that emotion was not productive for me in the long run. It did however, force me to have the strength to do what I needed to do.
Hump day everyone! Make it a good one!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for the ESH and shares. I too spent way too much time ignoring, denying and/or stuffing emotions before recovery and my go-to reaction was anger. It is in recovery that I learned that others can dispute my thoughts, suggestions, etc. but nobody has the right ever to dispute my feelings.
I do agree that I am not always thrilled with what I am feeling. Yet, today I do know going through them is healthy, and they will pass - positive and negative. I also learned in recovery that nobody was perfect and being imperfectly me is not just OK - it's exactly as intended.
Happy Hump Day - I got a little person all day today and I am already tired....we've had a great time running errands, getting donuts and playing with magnetic building blocks (super fun/cool). Make it a marvelous day all - we got down in the 40s overnight - fall has arrived!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Skorpi...I used to think my anger was a "bad thing" but its just a feeling...not a fact....now its what I DO with that anger or fear or sadness is what counts.....I am fear based...given my past, no wonder I am...but I work on it by doing self talk....challenging my fears to "show me I'm in deep doo doo regarding xxxxxxx" I take my fears to my "self talk/journal" court....and my anger...I talk to it a well....I ask it "why are you here????" "do we need to set a boundary????" OR is it old stuff and how long are we gonna stay pissed at the past?????? self talk, meditation, journalling, showing up here and sharing, getting support, etc., is the key to moving forward......
