The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about gratitude lists and an attitude of gratitude. The writer tells of seeking things to put onto a list in the beginning, and how they did not really feel very grateful when finished at the start of the journey. Their mind was still weighted down with the negative thinking that had resulted from living with alcoholism. Yet, because it was suggested, an effort was made.
Gradually, they writer learned to appreciate the small accomplishments of daily life. Simple things - avoiding pointless arguments using the serenity prayer or sharing in meetings or finishing something that was neglected. Change was happening, and the writer made a point of recognizing these small changes, which fed self-esteem.
By applying Al-Anon principles daily, the sense of gratitude deepened and helped to replace the nagging, negative thoughts.
Reminder -- I need to nurture myself with gratitude. Today I can practice appreciating myself, my world, and my Higher Power.
Quote from As We Understook . . . "I would lie in bed at night and say the alphabet, counting all the things I had to be grateful for, starting with the letter A . . . This made a great change in my life."
I can recall vividly how utterly silly I thought gratitude lists were when mentioned to me. My ego and self-will suggested that 'my life was crashing in all around me, and you want me to pause my efforts to make a gratitude list?' As with many things, I resisted. I was so very black/white in my ways of life and living I felt it was a waste of time/energy.
Yet, I heard it from several who really were at peace and living serenely so I tried. My list was basic, simple and short. I had the continuous tapes playing in my head of how rotten my life was, how bad I had it, how difficult my A(s) were, etc. Much like the writer, I kept at it and slowly began to add to the list, recognizing small successes in my life and in my days.
I feel today true gratitude deep within. This is not because of any grand gesture I made to change my life, but yet because of the willingness to act upon program suggestions, and the loving support of others who showed me a different way. Each time I brought an issue to my sponsor or the Al-Anon family, I was reminded that there was plenty to find that was working well, improving or worthy of gratitude.
The program and the principles have brought me to a place of real peace, not fleeting moments. When life happens around me, I am better equipped to let HP take the lead, and to do the next right thing. At moments of uncertainty or extreme fear, one great tool I return to often is a gratitude list. An attitude of gratitude has helped anchor me in the middle of the boat, which is a lovely place to be.
Happy Thursday MIP. I am grateful for all of you and for our shared journey in recovery. I am off to walk my favorite fur-baby and then to golf. My first born grandson turns 4 today, so have some love and smiles to deliver later on. Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for your service IAH. And when my sponsor suggested I make note of a gratitude daily, I thought she was nuts. After all, what did I have to be grateful about? My life felt in ruins because my marriage seemed destroyed. And I came to alanon to fix my spouse only to learn that was not the agenda. Well, of course by putting me in the focus, and seeing what was good within me and around me, I am being fixed ODAT. I have gratitude for alanon! Lyne
Thank you for this post today!! Just what I needed!!
I too thought making a gratitude list was STOOOOPID!! LOL! But I did it anyway. Mostly b/c it helped me out of the depths of despair I felt - I was crying every day!! In writing these lists - albeit very short ones at first - I was able to see that there was positive things in my life! There was good! And you know what? As I kept coming here, then attending F2F and speaking with my sponsor, the lists just keeps getting longer and longer! Imagine that! LOL!
That old saying (I am paraphrasing here), that there is always someone who has it worse than you, seems trite, but it is an honest assessment. But sometimes hard to even conceptualize, let alone accept when you are in the depths of your own despair. I think the attitude of gratitude keeps you out of the negative space in your own head!
Today I am holding onto an attitude of gratitude, b/c a service organization has returned my request for a doggie wheelchair for my Boxer babe!! The last organization I tried this with, just ghosted me, so I am so excited that this might become a reality for my pooch!! Just a couple of "hoops" I'll happily jump through for her!!
Peace everyone!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Mahalo MIP Ladies; so very well done and so right on time for this martyr practitioner who believes he has REALLY HUGE and CONCRETE COMPLAINTS. I forget to look at and for the positives and give credit where credit is due still slipping back into the "it's all about me" syndromes. I will make my lists, that being the most positive item and tool in my day and hold you all in gratitude for what you do without being asked or demanded. Again MAHALO. ((((hugs))))
I've been doing that lately.....used to be I would say "thank you" for the BIG things, leaving the little stuff abandoned, like I used to be abandoned..not noticed.....now i say "thank you" for little stuff...it adds up..like getting a perfect parking space, having something go RIGHT when lots of stuff could have sabotaged it...and yea, the A-Z alphabet saying "thank you" and I don't have to be religious or be talking to any god, just the universe, it does not matter, the universe is of equal and fair energy...what I put out, I get back in return...gratitude gives me more to be grateful for....its the universal law...what goes around does come around
(((PnP))) - that's awesome news for you and your fur-baby! A doggie wheelchair or walker? I have a friend who is engaged with Boxer Rescue, Rehoming, etc. and she's got one that uses this contraption to play at the dog park - it's so cute and he figured it out in a very short period of time!!
An attitude of gratitude keeps me moving forward....thanks to all for your shares!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
OH PnP just saw this about your boxer.....yaaaaay!!!!! OHHHH I am sending angel /positive energy that that DOES happen....What a good fur baby mom you are.....
Hi I am Wendy P, I love this Topic, as to have an Attitude of Gratitude gets me out of a lot of trouble. I don't like it when my life gets upside down, or when the Storm of Life hits me. Even if things are really bad, I try to stop and see what is good in my life. Some times I sit at my Table when I am having Breakfast, and when I am talking to MY Higher Power, after I say My Prayers for the day, I stop and say what I am grateful for. My first one is My Higher Power, because with out Him in my life, well, I couldn't imagine, what that would be like. Next comes, the Alanon Programme, and even this Online Alanon.
Once I start to think about Being Grateful, the list is long. If I am not in a good place, it helps me so much just to stop and think. That is what I do, when one of my Family members are having a bad time, and after I listen to what is going on, I always try to finish it off with, "Now tell me something that is good in your life".
I once read that if you have these 4 things in your life, then you are doing okay. 1. If you have someone to Love. 2 If you have someone to Love you. 3. If you have something to do. 4. If you have something to look forward to..
The other thing that brought me out of feeling sorry for myself one night. I was having my Tea, watching this programme on TV, it was in a Village in Africa, and this man had to go down to the River to catch a Fish so he could feed his Family and Himself. I thought to myself, of what I would do if I had to do that, over and over again. I would starve. It certainly brought things back into perspective for me.
I tend to agree with you... the Attitude of Gratitude has really helped me stay out of my negative-thinking head space! Each day on my commute, I thank my HP for the day I am about to face. When I am in a low place, I quickly start listing my Gratitudes... the list started out so short! But now it is long, and it reminds me that there is joy in each day.
Peace to you!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Amen, Amen, Amen!!! I truly find it amazing how I can turn my frown upside down by just pausing to consider what I have vs. what I don't have! An attitude of gratitude is a game-changer for my daily living. Good to see you Wendy P!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
