The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When angry, count to ten before you speak: if very angry, a hundred.
---Thomas Jefferson
The author talks about anger..Stuff happens..When the anger starts to get "hot" start counting..Breathe, even...
The author also talks about how one can get "high" on anger, just like taking a drin.. Think out what you need or want to say. We are reminded to use words that we dont' regret later..Set boundary, but show respect for the other person.....Prayer for the Day : Higher Power, teach me to respect others when Im angry.
Action for the Day: Today, when I feel angry Ill count. Ill work at not controlling other with my anger.
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I know my anger is still a "go to" tool when I am feeling helpless, powerless, victim, I get scared..feeling like I am trapped in a bad situation that I cannot fix, so in my fear, helpless feeling, I still rage at times....that rage gives me the illusion that I am in control..That I have some power in this...When I am diligent on my program, I notice its not so bad...still needs a lot of work, but no as bad, because I can now, work my options after I breathe, observe whats going on, "how important is this????" "is this reeeeely a catastrophy or is it nickel dime aggravation???" and i can calm down, work what options I have, asking for help, researching so I know more about what to do...or I can just walk away...I do know that going nuts in a temper tantrum is not gonna fix anything...its only going to stress me out and then I am exhausted after.....I am a work in progress....my trust issues hinder me on just trusting that I will be ok....I still get afraid when i feel like I can't do anything about something.....
as to other people?? I was in the pharmacie picking up my meds and a cust. service gal got rude to me...I looked at her...thought for a minute and I told her "I am NEW here and the rules have changed re: discounts, etc., so you need to bear with me as I am the paying customer and I have the right to clarify if I do not understand something as fast as YOU might want me to" and I just paid my bill and reported her to another worker , but the GOOD news is, I was controlled...I let her know she will not get rude to me and get by with it, that I am the customer with valid questions and basically told her that I don't accept rude under any circumstances..... so yea, I was pleased that I did not "go off" on her and be ugly....I was firm...but kept my dignity.....some people do NOT belong in cust. service...
I like to think of hitting the pause button before I speak. That gives me time to think, how important is it, can I let go and let God, etc. We have so many fantastic tools! Lyne :)
I liked this share. I think I will keep the 'Nickle and Dime' as a slogan to help me remember "How important is it?" LOL!
I am so glad to read your response to the customer service person. Real growth here I think - at least from what you share on your previous posts!
Since I am now in that field, I can say that most of the large retail pharmacy chains really create TONS of stress for their employees - ahem, CV_!!!
However, there isn't a reason to be rude to another, especially a customer, so you handled that situation beyond well!! And it was good your reported that person.
Kudos to you!!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks rose for this share,
I can relate to this in I have responded in similar ways as you have ,
I like how you handled this to,I thought I was being rude ,reality I was responding in a respectful way an not allowing others to run over me,thank you again for putting this in better perspective ........lu
Thank you for your service Rose! Great topic and shares! When I first came to Alanon, everything had a high degree of urgency and I could not wait. Somewhere along the way, I now tap pause and sit with things before taking action. It's funny to hear people ask me, "why did you wait to say something?" I think that the urgency was a form of my trying to force an outcome that I desired. When I'm able to remove the outcome from the equation, I'm able to prioritize and respond with a delivery that will matter most. (even if it doesn't bring the exact desired outcome)
Im going to try this counting to ten and breathing thing. Consciously going to try. Everything feels like a "benjamin?' is that the US 100? rather than nickle and dime. It has gotten so bad, that I really can't tell the difference! Thanks for the post.
