The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for September 4 speaks about our many misfortunes and that often we feel that we cannot cope with every issue without hitting our breaking point.. At this point we believe that we have been rejected by God, even though we never did reject our faith
The gift of Al-Anon is that we are encouraged to renew our faith in a Power greater than ourselves. We may have thought we were nearly forgotten and that God had given up on us.(I know I did) but In alanon we learn once more to identify with the Divine Principle and find that willingness is the sure knowledge that God is always with me and expresses himself through me in every difficult situation .
When I added a spiritual dimension to my life I found I was never alone in dealing with whatever troubles came my way and they were huge The courage, and wisdom I found within surprised me. Thank you HP and than you alanon.
hitting our breaking point - this is an interesting topic for me, because I feel like I live in a (for me) natural cycle that amps up and down with the school year, resulting in a few periods a year where I am "at my breaking point". These points, though, aren't at all like the breaking point I hit when I found my way to AlAnon. It helps me to remember how broken I was then, so I can keep my usual life cycle of ups and downs in perspective. Leaning on my spiritual foundation has just become part of my life. My mornings spent with reading AlAnon literature, messaging sponcees, and journaling are sacred to me, and they help me to start my day off in a positive way. My troubles don't need to be mine alone.
I hope you make today a great day, all! First day of fall semester for us, so my busy season is coming to an end, and I'm looking forward to a few weeks of calm.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Betty and Skorpi. ESH is such an inspiration to me. I used to live in the valley of no hope and almost everything felt bad except my dogs and granddaughter . Things have changed for me drastically in that respect. I'm often calling on HP, praying every morning, and meditating when I can. I now dip down in the valley but I don't live there anymore! What a relief, Lyne
Wow. This could've been written just for me!! In fact, I have posted about my lost faith in God, but not in my spirituality in the past.
I'll be honest with you all here, and myself... I struggle daily to have faith that my HP 'has my back.'
I haven't spoken about this here - kind of like if I put words to it, it will become 'real' - my son is currently being evaluated for some form of blood cancer b/c of repeated blood tests with low WBC's and some weird symptoms. It is a long process due to all the referrals and being on Medi-Cal. Every day I work on giving this up to my and my son's HP to deal with. The last month I have felt that if God put just one more thing on my plate, I would implode. Every day I tell myself, "Let's not worry until there is something concrete to worry about."
I am loving what Lyne shared this morning,,,'I now dip down in the valley, but I don't live there anymore!' Brilliant! Thank you Lyne for sharing your ESH... it has helped me more than you will ever know!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Betty for the daily and your service. Thank you all for the ESH and shares - spot on and I too love what Lyne says about the valley! I also felt I lived a life of gloom and doom - went to bed with chaos/drama on the mind and woke up, ready to run and fight the battle all over again. It was exhausting, unpleasant, insane and certainly so counterproductive to what 'real living' is.
Al-Anon gave me a new attitude, outlook and perspective. I now own my days, my time, my attitude and more. I don't have to allow other people or their actions rent-free space in my head. I can live and let live and it's all because of the program and a power greater than I. We were in a step 2 meeting last weekend, as we had a member who was struggling. It was an awesome meeting and I was reminded of how broken I was when I arrived and how abandoned I felt from the God of my upbringing.
When I was able to surrender my ego and keep an open mind, things changed. It's very freeing to allow myself to grow through chaos and to know that no matter how bad it gets, I am not alone. I do have a great support group as well as a power greater than me to lean upon.
PnP - I too am sending you thoughts and prayers. For your son as well. Love your attitude of not worrying until something to worry about - sounds program like to me. Keep working it - looks great on you.
Been golfing, shopping and am now chilling - we've got rain in the weather for the rest of the week and I'm taking some days off golf (that's my plan) - looking forward to the break! Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
A serious reading here- and because you are leading the sharing Betty, ah kin trust you and group with the deeper stuff.
At age 21 I came of age, or so it seemed. In that year I lost two uncles to suicide, both drinkers and both veterans.
In the city I was picked up by a church family. Mrs. had been my teacher at age 15. Rev. had been the local vicar. I stayed at their house some weekends; went on outings with them, and became a confirmed believer.
Being so close i realised that the Rev. was a bad drinker. He later shot himself.
This may have bin enough to slam-dunk my belief system. It certainly helped me through when I finally learned to grieve. it seemed that the whole world had conspired against lil ol me!
Along with my own family situation.
I always say y'all kin take the kid out of the family, but y'all caint take the family out of the kid. ...
Wrong.
Detachment does this. Not just a word.
Best learned from people who have bin there.
Best found at meetings where people are struggling with the fundamentals.
Including this meeting, of course. ...
Thanks for your service Betty, for your courage, and for your patience. ...
(((((((((((Betty))))))))))))) Ooooh can I relate to this or what??? I have felt this many times, hence my life of being Agnostic..the only thing that caused me to be spiritual was this program and that I could look WITHIN like my old sponsor (may she RIP) told me...she says to me "Rose!!! YOUR HP is WITHIN you..so how can he/she/it abandon you??? its IN you" I thought about that and thought "HMMMM makes sense" you get that feeling inside that something is about to break (bad karma) and things will settle, so you get this peace during the storm......I do buy into the universal "source" of all things good and i am a child of that universe, so do good and good will come to me..............
Got dumped by a client who wanted me to LIE like a flat rug to IRS, doing his taxes..>I asked him "where is the signed receipt book for all this labor you want me to write off????" he didn't have a shred of evidence and I told him, "you got either illegals or you didn't pay anyone and did the jobs yourself right???" he never answered me....he cancelled 2x on me and has yet to return my texts/calls, so today I left VM for him and I told him I was sorry he was so scared of me he coldn't just do the honest thing and fire me right off instead of leaving me hanging...I wished him a good life and i thought "heeeeer we go again!!!! freakin financial worries" and then I said to myself "BOLLIX, I am NOT gonna let the negative energy ruin /mess up my day....I'll renew my CL ad and update my FB and Google ads with pics so I look "real" to the people "How can they resist my honest face hey?????" so you know, I REFUSE to let this crap worry me...its been a roller coaster ride, financially since day one of my existence with parents that would not support me, and my being too screwed up to accept the GOOD jobs that I was more than qualified for but had no self confidence, oh yea, I messed up big time because I had no faith in ME...well??? I am NOT gonna let one liar ruin my serenity....I'll just replace him .......mean time??? I have an old regular who needs me to help him w/his taxes....he is in a real bind so I am gonna give him a big discount on my income tax prep rate to put out good karma for me..........I have faith in ME and Programme and yea, the Higher Self WITHIN me
Thank you for your wonderful service Betty. There are times that I feel I have many breaking points. I'm so grateful for Alanon to continue to support practicing healthier ways to handle stress.
Well Well HotRod you hit the hammer on the nail with this one. I caught myself saying to someone this past week.....God hates me. I know he does. How could all this crap being happening if He didn't? And yes it was crossing my mind also....I cant take anymore. Besides son dying 2 years ago a mess of an alchie and druggie......my beloved kitty Ivy passed in feb... she was very very special sorta kitty and was 24 years old......then july hubby diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.....of ALL the cancers to get.....the worst one there is.....it took the wind right out of my sails when the doc gave me the news. and one thing right after the other with it since.....chemo is an aweful thing to watch. what makes it worse is he has a certain amt of dementia on top of it....so I'm totally responsible for even the simplest things of it. everytime I think I know what step one means.....I AM POWERLESS......another round of the lesson comes around. hey god.....I think I get step one now! enough already! add to all this my job is like showing up for the drama and chaos of a totally dysfunctional alchie family. I have no family here or support system so its been a lonely road.
(((NUrsedeb)) ans all who responded-- I so understand. Please take care of yourselves and Keep coming back here.
I found that HP never abandoned me and that He was with me always providing the courage and wisdom i needed to keep showing up. Prayers for you and your family .
(((nursedeb))) - sending you virtual hugs, thoughts and prayers. Your plate sounds very, full - I too encourage you to be gentle with yourself and keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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