The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I still have 'burning questions' to ask. I still have a childish nature sometimes... but more with a whimsical grin than before.
I am not doing a 'reading share' here, exactly... ...is there some organisation within this group that allocates times etc for a reading of our CAL daily readers!
Do people simply just step up- and pitch in. I ask this one for a very good reason. I always had trouble with communication. 20 years ago maybe I would just kinda gatecrash a conversation and hope for the best!
Not a good way to get by. My social skills have improved a lot. I am grateful today that I have a depth to my interests. And th emany conversations I have these days have both depth, and variety.
It is a sunny Saturday afternoon here. My So and I bought a new second hand vehicle a few weeks ago. And we are really enjoying it. We went out to the pine plantation to walk the dogs before. No longer do I isolate like the days of yore.
Today's reading in HFT was about looking around us- instead of 'right in front'. At the black and white world i had grown to expect. If there was a motto on the wall of my mind- it was "my way, or the highway!"
The sure route to anger, and pain. Emotional pain for me.
Ten years ago- I was at a local meeting and I realised the the readings were going in one ear and out the other. There seemed to be nothing in between. The word 'foggy' does not adequately describe the state I was in.
I was working long hours- trying to make a living, and competing with migrant workers a third of my age.
But I managed to get through all that- to feel alert and engaged with the world. I made up my mind- that I might be a victim [in the natural sense]- but that was not going to turn me into a martyr.
I had a set-back in my home group which sent me along here. I feel that I have thrived here. ...
I am grateful that I am in a steady relationship. This was not an easy road at all!
When I found my voice- I then had to find my own boundaries and limits. This did take a while...
...but I did enjoy my reading today- for its own sake... and the the realisation that the contents made a lot of sense for me.
having a regular secure existence is a real gift of grace...
-Thanks for reading me and thanks so much for being here... so reassuring... ...
David alanon members have volunteered to post their views of fthe daily reading found in either the OdAT C2C or HFT. . This is indeed a fellowship of equals
Hi David and Betty-I enjoyed your share David and I can relate. I often think that I am becoming a grown up, although I have been one chronolically for many years. And I find it's often hard behaving like a grown up, however Alanon is now helping me grow up! It was much easier to blame my A and fall into sulking, anger, resentment, and/or depression. So now I take responsibility for my feelings and actions. (Progress not perfection). My A cannot accept that she is an alcoholic. But she does accept having food addiction and has been going to OA for more than a year. But she never mentions one slogan or one step or how it's helping her. I imagine she sits in the back and does paper work or plays on her phone. It seems that nothing has sunk in, because she is not really interested. As you said, it goes in one ear and out the other. I pray for her every day. It's not that I no longer expect things to be different, but with HP there is always "Hope for today." Lyne
Well....if it makes you feel any better David, part of 'my pause' is to pray and meditate. The other part is to ask myself and HP, "What would a sane adult do in this situation?" There is nothing unique about my experience or situations, yet I still have to ponder always what is my role, what are my motives, what would an adult do, etc. It comes fast and more natural than when I was a reactive soul but ... growing up in recovery in public is not always easy!
Great topic and discussion - enjoy your day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My experience is somewhat different. It's easy to get philosophical, and analyze, etc. And, with that can come "paralysis by analysis" -- and some people live their lives "cutting bait" and never "fishing" so to speak. I do due diligence for a living. I analyze, problem solve, strategically build, etc. However, they all have to be progressive...with the goal, a definitive goal...of...ACTION.
That said, I stand in my truth. I bask in the sunlight of the truth. You walk into any alanon meeting anywhere in the world, and some percentage of the people in that room are going to be unhealthy. And some % will be healthy. And some will be somewhere between the two. It's not quantifiable, and perhaps intangible. However, there's a spectrum, and a plethora, of people, personalities, and everything that makes each of us who we are.
So, in these cases...it's simple...KEEP IT SIMPLE. It's about principles, not personalities...if it's a problem, impacting the group...group conscience.
Thanks.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
On topic? Or Off-topic...? Do we in Alanon 'stick to our knitting?' The ODAT reader has quotes, from east, west, Greece and NY. C2C... from what ah kin see from within CAL. There are variations from group to group- Tradition 4.
I like it here that a lot of the sharing comes out of the daily readers. There is no egg timer on the table here, though. Even so I try to be disciplined, and stick to the programme.
Tonight I went to a movie- "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof". It was about a drunken relationship- and involved the whole family. My response here is to be grateful that i did not fall asleep during the performance. That my thinking is fairly clear and my concentration good.
First performed in 1955, the play portrays the dynamics of an alcoholic relationship- resonating out into the family dynamics.
I was neat for me- hearing it played on film, here in my home town. A former gold mining town- latterly a sheep farming centre. Since them to composition of the town has changed a lot.
Curiously the boutique theatre is in the building where the local AA room were... and where our Alanon meeting were help for many years.
I did not get great boundaries when I was a child- and i did not see wonderful adult behaviour modelled to me. I understand now that each and every family- when the front door was closed in the evening- that all must have their moments. There is no perfect family.
Today we went for a trip up into the hills and had a picnic. Da, and two little kids came along too. Overall, it was a great day. spring is just over the brow of the hill. ...
Not sure what you are asking David If we share on a daily from the ODAT, C2C or HFT, it is acceptable to include the quote form the reading as the entire page is considered conference approved . To split hairs on the quotes could lead to disaster.
Not sure where tradition 4 comes in .as I like to consider Tradition one and two when I share--- Our common welfare should always come first and the Spiritual nature of program accepted.
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