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This week has been Something Else to say the Least... HP has Had me Paying attention & Paying it Forward and I'm about Whooped... But Even Still My Blessings thru it all, have Carried me...
Monday Seemed the Easiest day with work, and I went and Watched my Great Nephew Play his first game of soccer for this year, He gets So Excited... He's 6 and Full of Attitude, (He Made a Goal... He was Over the Moon Excited) after the Game, He thought it best while his Momma was Feeding the New Baby that He & I Play Soccer and I got to be the Goalie... To take the Time to See in his Face the Excitement of His Aunt out there Acting a Fool in that Net was the Funniest part of my Week Hands Down...We Laughed and Jumped around, and Of Course he Made Every Goal cause "Your Doing Good Auntie...But... You Need More Practice!" (Wisdom of a 6 yr old)lol I Thank Al-Anon for Allowing me to Embrace these Moments, at one time I Would have Brushed Off... So Grateful I'm Not that Self Absorbed Person any More and Can Embrace such things... What a Blessing :) Sometimes Saying YES is the Best Part of My Day :)
Tues was Work, then its also My Gram Day, Well on My Way to See her, My Truck Locked Up and Dang Near Tossed me into a Traffic Light Pole, but Praise God I Got it Stopped Inches Before and My Truck has Minimal Damage, and Can be Easily Repaired... After that Heart Shocker, I Go to Gram's (She just turned 94 Last month) She is Napping when I Arrive, and when she wakes up, she is Just a Bucket of Tears... Never has she done that before, but that day, she had it in her Head that I was Mad At her, and was Never Coming back... She Cried & Cried while I Held her and Promised her that day would Never come in her Life time... but I believe her Mind is Playing Tricks on Her, and It is Breaking My Heart... She just Kept saying over and Over.. "I Didn't want to Live with you Being Mad a Me, I Just wanted to Die! I Told Her (The Daughter) to Come home because I didn't want to be Here No More!" So in Order to Get her to Refocus, We did a Mani/Pedi... I Put Lotion on her Legs & Feet Every week, due to her Dry cracking Skin, but the Nail Painting Really seemed to Turn it around, I Picked a Bright Pink Color and She couldn't stop Looking at them... I Turned her Frown Upside Down...And to be Honest... Mine too, The Last time I Seen My Gram Cry like that was at My Dad's Funeral...I Believe she got her Days mixed up, and assumed I wasn't Coming... But Talk about Heartbreaking... But She was Not Happy when I had to Leave then Later and Go to My Meeting... But THANK GOD For My Meeting I Needed It So Bad this Day... and Of Course, it Healed what was Broken in me at that Moment...
Wens. was work, then Dentist, to Find out I Need More work done, that first I Must Save for in order to Fix... then back Work but the Largest Struggle was My Friend I had you All Praying for, has Returned to the Hospital, This time for an Infection... After Speaking with his Mom, he is Currently "Right NOW" in Surgery to try and Remove the Infections then he goes to His Other Doctor, 2 hours away tomorrow if he is safe to Travel to have More Work done... I HATE CANCER... I Pray for ALL of you That Have to Move thru this either for You or Someone you Love... Just Seeing his Weak, Worn Out Body Breaks My Heart in to a Million Pieces, Not just for Him, but His Daughter, who just entered 8th Grade Tues. and Has All this on her Mind...(He Takes Sole Care of Her, Her Mother is in Full Addiction and has only seen her Once since Christmas) I Know we All Have Our Own HP, That I have Learned Here... But Boy Have a Been Praying hard for his Miracle
This Program has Breathed Life Back into me, It has Showed me that Even the Hard Roads are Worth Traveling if You Love someone, and Sometimes that Love just isn't enough for them to find what we "Hope" they Get...But Pray Anyway... Today I Just Sit In Prayers waiting for a Call from his Mom to say, He Did Great... and Praying its not the Opposite... My Fear has been Replaced with Compassion, Understanding, Humbleness but Fear Still Try's to Knock on my Sanity, but it Helps that I have took the time to Just BE for a Bit...
So Thank you All so Much for Love & Prayers, If you have Spares I would Be most Grateful... Currently this Morning is the First Morning in what Feels Like MONTHS that We have a Beautiful Morning, with Sunshine & Cool Temps, (We have been under nothing but Rain for Months) So I'm Taking my Business Phone to the Back Deck, I'm Grabbing my Cup of Coffee, my Crochet, My Camera's (Welp... because there is Always Birds), and My Pup and I'm Going to Practice some of this "Self-Love" for a Bit... Sometimes I Forget I'm Worthy of It, but I'm Grateful today isn't that Day!
Jozie - so glad that you got that truck stopped before YOU got hurt! HP had your back girl!!
So sorry to hear about the sadness and confusion with your Gram - that's so tough. My parents left this morning to return to AZ, and my mother is certainly slipping more and more. I just nod and smile as any effort to help her remember seems to befuddle her more. I am so grateful I am able to be of service to my parents in their golden years - it just feels right on so many levels considering what I put them through in my active years.
My youngest grand just got enrolled in soccer - 3 years old. I CAN'T WAIT!!! I love watching little ones play, learn, etc. I am taught so, so much by watching their approach to life - open, willing, excited and forward facing.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend - prayers for a successful surgery for the infection and wellness enough to travel for the next step. I have two special people right now with cancer, and I am quite certain both will loose the battle. One is pancreatic and the other is bone. I too hate cancer.....it just sucks all the way around.
Glad you are practicing your program, got to a meeting and stopped by to share - so, so glad that you too keep coming back! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hey Jozie, thanks for the great update....love to watch 6 year olds play sports..they are so IN TO IT!!! LOL....I am glad you didn't get hurt and I am very sorry about Gram....getting old/sick sucks!!! I watched my mother's sister who I called mama Aunt Helen go down with Alzheimer's, and it was awful , watching this once sharp as a tack little lady whom I look just like go down like that, but it was pretty quick...she didn't suffer I don't think, anyway......hoping your good friend can keep moving forward with his health....WHEW, you got a lot on your plate and still you have time to smile and share the sunny parts of your life....one of the things I always liked about you...a pile of manure could fall on your head and you would be sifting through, looking for that flower and making laughter out of it..............HUGS
(((Rosie))) Thanks, My Gram has Never Been Diagnosed with "Alz or Dementia" but it can be Obvious to those that have been around it, Its Tough, but at the Same time the Blessing of Having her 3 miles away, and Getting that time with her, Is Enough for Now ;) Thankfully... My Little Buddy Loves to Play Sports, but he Also would Play a Great Role in "Drama" too, with the Eye Rolls, and Silly Humor... Just Makes my Night most times I get to Go...
Thanks also for the Chuckle, Love & Flashback ;) ... and as An Ole Farm Girl, Manure & I have had our Fair Sharing's And you are Correct, I Laughed till a Cried when I Found myself, Face First in Such a Mess... I've Come to Realize, Life is What you Make it, and I Can Remember that Experience today and Still Laugh about it, because the Laughing is What Made it Memorable the Most to Me , Leaving those Dreary Days behind is the Best thing I Can do for Myself :)
(((IamHere))) You are So Right, It's tough with Gram, it truly is... But I Wouldn't Change a Thing, I Love every Moment I get to Hear the Same Story over & over again, I Love Making her Smile One More Time, And Normally, if She is Having a Great Day, it then Becomes the Best Part of my Week :) I Say it all the Time to My Kids, (Son, Nieces, Nephews,) "Ya gotta Love them while ya Got'm,Cause Tomorrow Sometimes comes too Soon!"
Your Youngest, Playing at 3, Even if they are the Worst Team on the Field, I Promise you, The Smiles this will Bring to Your Face & Heart will be Everlasting... My Gr. Nephew is So Fun to Sit & Watch, I Look Forward to it, every Chance I Get to Go. Even My Nephew that is 18 and a Senior, He Loves Football, and Is Just Passionate about it :) So to Sit & Watch his Spirit out there, So Much Joy :) ... but those Little ones you just Can't stop Smiling...lol
Also I've been Lifting your two friends up for Comfort & Prayers, It Riddles My Family, and At times I Find Myself in Fear, of "What If" and You all have Helped Me Learn, that why I have to Live my Best Life Now :) Thank you for the Prayers for my Friend, They are Working ;)
Thank you (((MIP Family))) For all the Love & Prayers thru this My Friend is Now Home temporarily, Trying to Heal so he can get ready for a Couple More Surgery's, He is Holding his Own, (By the Watchful Eye of His Momma Who Just Happens to Live Next door) and his Daughter :) The Infection is Healing, so they want to stay focused on that... So Thank you all so Much for the Love & Prayers, I Do Believe whole Heartedly In the Power Of "Prayer/Love/Spirit" and what It can do when we All Get on Board :) Ya'll are Wonderful and I'm Glad to Share this Journey with you :)
(((Jozie))) - I.....Can't.....Wait!! I so loved when mine were littles and were learning about teamwork, sports, winning, losing, etc. I'm glad to share this journey with you too!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
, Leaving those Dreary Days behind is the Best thing I Can do for Myself :)