The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for tomorrow is about First things First, self care and choosing wisely. There does not seem to be enough time in a day during stressful times. We might be tempted to miss a meal, push ourselves to exhaustion and just generally ignore our basic needs. In reality, it's during these trying times that taking time for a meeting or a call to a sponsor or even just a breath of fresh air is way more helpful than we realize.
When we need to take good care of ourselves, we can fall into doing the opposite. When we decide our own needs are less important or that we're too busy, we sabotage our own best interests. In times of crisis, we need to be at our best - First things first helps us remember that we not only matter, we are important! Extra effort to eat well, get rest, relaxation, program support and quiet time with HP help us strengthen ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually....making difficult situations a bit easier.
Reminder -- I am the only one who can make my well-being my top priority. I owe it to myself to pay attention to the needs of my body, mind and spirit.
Quote from ". . . In All Our Affairs" -- "Putting "First things first" in troubled times means finding whatever way I can to set aside my burdens, even if just for a moment, to make time for myself.
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Before recovery, I continuously allowed my routines and schedule to be managed by the disease and the diseased. It was foreign to me to put me first and to take good care of me. I was one who would put off my own needs to do for others, and then be angry that I made that choice - not realizing nobody asked me to change things -- I just felt that was the 'next right thing'.
Today, I am less willing to set aside my routines and habits as I am willing to keep my serenity, which is my top priority. I will certainly always be of service and support others in crisis, I just will not take ownership of other's problems, chaos and pain. When I put first things first, I am better able to think and see clearly what's the next right thing.
Make your day awesome - off to golf in the AM, time with parents until softball in the PM. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you IAH for the daily and your ESH. When I first heard this slogan I couldn't relate! Now I fully understand because for years I put others first and myself last. It was a habit from childhood. After all, I didn't count and I wasn't an equal. That has changed. I've come to a belief that no one is above me and no one is below me. A real shocker was when I was working the steps with my sponsor and she introduced me to the idea that I should make amends to myself first. What a concept! Alanon has truly changed me into a better person, Lyne
Thank you Iahere for posting this and your share about it. Lyne, I agree with your share... it was odd to make amends to myself first - thank you for reminding me.
At first "First Things First" were a way for me to prioritize - my life had become so chaotic, so out of control, that I just couldn't see what was the 'next right thing.' "First Things" allowed me to crawl through the mire that was my brain and function so that I could get myself and my Kid to a healthier place.
It wasn't until I had thoroughly read through the stickies here, found a sponsor, that I began to see that I had always put myself last. EVERYONE's needs were put before mine... all the time! This habit is easy to slip back into I am finding as I journey along my path. So constant vigilance is needed.
Having a good week... I hope others are too!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you for posting this. I have a bad habit of taking ownership of others problems and chaos, neglecting my own needs. This has certainly improved through working the program. Its so true, just like when you are flying in a plane, they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Have a great day all.
Thanks (((iamhere))) This is just where I am at today. Almost forgot to love myself the way my hp already does. In a moment of disappointment, I began to doubt my worth. I have insurance for the moment which I paid for through my last job but procrastinated about making medical appointments. I'm not fearful of the outcomes. My skewed thinking was telling me I'd somehow failed, was somehow unworthy of care, mistrusting of things getting paid etc. Ugh, irrational thinking all over the map. Thank goodness, I know this is not normal thinking and have gone ahead and scheduled everything. I feel serenity now that I've gone ahead made the appointments. I do love myself today and make myself a priority. Just weird that even after years in the program, that stinking thinking can still visit. Very glad it passes and I know to honor my well-being today. Thanks for sharing! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
this weekend is an away weekend down at the coast... we were going to go with daughter and kids- but daughter's friend is coming with her kids as well. I am involved with a heritage project down there... and was looking forward to having company!
First things first... yes... he whanau, he whanau... [family comes first]. daughters friend is an atheist and her kids go round saying "there is no God". I don't mind that too much... I always believed with the kids- "love me, love my friends".
But things changed- our family weekend suddenly became a "girls only weekend". Not mentioning that the youngest grandkid is a boy!
I sense My SO was being lead around by the nose. I might have become a victim, but I was not going to be a martyr! I cut a deal with SO to travel up and back with family and get a seperate cabin- boys only!
I will have my boots and shovel anyway... and can do separate activities. Saturday evening they are going penguin watching- and I may tag along... we plan to have Sunday lunch together.
I grew up with the old black and white "my way or the highway" culture. In the end- often no-one got their own way and people made each other miserable.
No wonder so many people took to the drink!
We are getting another vehicle, Monday. Our old brown Subaru was our family car; and latterly it became my toolbag. It is like losing a pet!
So it will be neat to be giving it a lovely family outing- this weekend... please include us- in your happy prayers... ...
Prayers for a safe trip David and kudos for thinking outside the box for your self-care! Enjoy, enjoy and just be you and present - you got this! Sorry about your vehicle - I too get attached to my 'wheels'....I buy them and drive them till they stop! Lotsa windshield time and lotsa HP time in mine not to mention discussions, outings, etc. Here's to new memories in your new wheels!
Thanks to all for the ESH and shares - First Things First - (((Group Hug)))....enjoy your evening/day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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