The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for today, 8-14 speaks about the alcoholic finally hitting hiss bottom and reaching for recovery. This reading points out that in the beginning it is extremely important to embrace the fact that both partners in the marriage have been affected by this disease and need a program of recovery.
The ODAT suggests that if one partner takes the steps to get well and learn to face life as an adult, then the other partner needs to develop self understanding as well so that everyone will be solid on ground working for a common purpose.
The AA member must realize that this sobriety is only the beginning and the spouse also needs to continue to use alanon tools to deal with new problems with dignity, grace and love.
it is important to note that we are moving toward spiritual maturity as we embrace alanon principles and tools.
Happy Tuesday Betty and thank you for the daily and your service. In my family, we've had many starts/stops with recovery from the disease. What I have learned is that I can still work on my recovery and progress in spite of where those I love are. It's always frightening with relapse, and no doubt I get sad, anxious and more. Yet, when/if I keep leaning into my program and trusting that HP does not have grandchildren, I am better able to stay on my side of the street and just work on me while hoping for the best.
I have unshakable faith today that I 'feel' with each life event that causes me pause. I am beyond grateful and can't imagine how insane I would be without recovery. Make it a great day - we've got much needed rain falling and cooler temperatures, making it a lovely day to golf if we can manage around the raindrops. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Like IAH, I've lived through some frightening relapses, but thanks to AlAnon program and tools, I've learned that my alcoholic loved one's relapse doesn't need to take me away from my program and what is working for me. It gives me the opportunity to learn to use the tools in a new way, or the opportunity to practice using the tools when things are hard. I can find myself slipping into old behaviors, and so that is why leaning into my program at these times is more important that ever. I've experienced the benefits of leaning into the program when things are hard and when I don't see the progress in myself that I once saw; if I keep showing up, one day, as if by magic, things fall into place unexpectedly. It isn't magic, though, it is the compounded impact of me showing up and practicing my program day after day that causes positive change.
I hope you all make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you, Betty, for your service. All the ESH shared meant so much, but I found Skorpi's the most pertinent to me. I truly appreciate all who post daily on the subject matter, as you all become a part of my journey to wellness!
I had to look very hard at myself... what my ONE major boundary that I had set for myself back in my SO's first time with recovery... I also had to look at my level of comfort - what was I willing to live with, forever, should my life play out that way. It was initially hard to admit, but I could not live with addiction. I am in awe of those who are able to be strong in their programs and still stay married to their qualifiers!
Still, I appreciate the post... it reminds me that I shouldn't give up on my path of wellness, even if the "crazy train" has left my house! Thank you.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you, Betty, for your service and thanks to everyone who has posted. I clearly remember the day it finally sank in that this was MY recovery (and the all caps is really because I felt like shouting it), and I deserved and needed it.
Skorpi, I love how you explain the impact of practicing consistently day by day, and how eventually things "click" and the previously unbelievable good things happen, even in the midst of trouble. That is certainly how it has worked for me.
Thanks Betty and to all the others who shared ESH. I'm struggling with my decision to stay with my A. She probably has stopped drinking, but there is no recovery. It is a daily challenge to use all my tools and resources, and I'm not successful everyday holding onto my Serenity. But I will continue to strive for peace and compassion towards all others, and myself. I have learned that I deserve good as well, Lyne
it is important to note that we are moving toward spiritual maturity as we embrace alanon principles and tools.
Have a great day
Thank you Betty....and AMEN to the above.....we are becoming spiritual, and to me, the principles and tools of 12 steps programme is my higher guide.... I don' t know where I would be or who I would be w/out the program...It has literally lifted me out of the ashes
