The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wasn't broken when i came here- but my home group was.
My mum always taught me- when we get bucked off a horse- get straight back on.
If my Alanon group was a horse- I needed to tend to the bleeding and bruises first- before getting back on.
I knew when I came- that MIP Alanon did not have a hotline to Alanon WSO. I was not expected some official to be racing over here on a Boeing 747.
I knew i had to make some personal changes- confidence. With the steps- and learn how the traditions and concepts work in practise.
My mantra came from Alanon Concept 4. Participation is the key to harmony. I am no spring chicken no more- and participation, at my age is also the key to learning! ...
I have gotten involved in my regional Alanon assembly, and with neighbouring groups.
Having said that- my own view- I see MIP Alanon as my home group. It has regular visitors- from all over the world. But I do not see it as a staging post- to F2F groups. I see it as a a stand-alone group.
Not to say that members should attend their local groups!
At this stage i hope I have moved away from the black and white thinking I learned within my own FOO.
This group has some really motivated members- from a wide range of Alanon experience... which is a real strength. For this reason I have learned lots and lots of stuff here. It has made me a much more confident individual and a much better family member.
David, I appreciate your perspective! I also see MIP as similar to an actual meeting, and with members from around the world --- what a miracle that is!
Some of the phrases heard at meetings come to mind: "Take what you like and leave the rest." "You may not like all of us, but you will come to love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you."
I am so appreciative of all the recovery on this board, which keeps the ship afloat in spite of occasional storms.
Thanks ((David))) so much for your heartfelt share. I'm so grateful to this online recovery family whose door is always open and continues to welcome me home. I'm grateful for your presence here and your shares. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I was the oldest of five- and stuck up for my sister and three brothers. Over time they more or less tore me up- as well.
The last 24 hours had meaning for me... and I have survived, so it seems unscathed. Worse feelings for me is I am banned, or my sharing is closed down.
I was in a group- where a member started talking about codependency. She was closed down right away and left the meeting. In our neck of the woods there is no group 'round the corner' to go to. It is a topic that crops up from time to time... In my view it is worth a mention- so long as it does not become the main topic. Would definitely not use a reader- or materials from outside of Alanon. These views will vary a lot from group to group.
it came up for me- 6 or 8 weeks ago- with a new member... that MIP Alanon has evolved as a stand-alone group. There are any number of reasons why a person cannot reach a f2f group. And no reason at all why people cannot attend f2f, or online, as they choose.
In our homes we have to navigate through impossible situations...
for me Alanon has seemed like this to me too- sometimes-... ...but applying the principles... in a much more neutral situation... I can learn and figure out how to get through more and more stuff... wisdom and experience.
Maybe at my age it should be WISH, instead of ESH...?
Wisdom. Insight. Strength and Hope... and lots and lots of this, for me. comes from Alanon.
Great share and discussion - thanks David for the ESH. I am the youngest of 4 and it's much easier for me to just say that the disease has been with me from birth and in my bloodline from way before I was even a thought in the eyes of my parents. My family has a fair share plus amount of dysfunction and try as I might, I still struggle to fit in at times. It's even harder because myself and my kids and one other of the next generation are the only ones in recovery when many more, if not all, could certainly use it.
I heard early on in recovery that we have the right to choose who we consider family. There are many in recovery that I am much closer to than those I grew up with - immediate and extended family. I felt guilt for this when I first was getting sober, yet I look back now and I am so very grateful for those who I've adopted as family and those who adopted me.
I am blessed to live in a major metro with tons of meetings, but you are correct that many don't have access to local meetings. I love meetings and got my foundation through them, and will always suggest it. Yet, I too feel a special bond with MIP and those who frequent MIP willing to share their ESH. I gave up the term 'home group' many years ago as there was some who considered a group better due to member numbers, which I found to be egocentric and opposing my own recovery desires. I am all for inclusion, no matter what as our doors are to always be open, as well as our minds, hearts, etc.
I firmly believe that the road to peace, serenity, joy happens through recovery of some sort. I don't think there is a perfect way to 'recover' and have always been a fan of any effort is better than no effort at all. (((Hugs))) - grateful you all are a part of my journey!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I needed affirmation... I really needed a rite of passage- which I have now.
Being known- and listened to is so important. I have been to Hotrod's home meeting in the big urban city. And I acknowledged the work she is doing F2F; as well as here. If I had not been a visitor- I would have gone back and spent a lot of time- with one of the men there.
I also went to meetings in Rapid City- SD. Rapid City is very much a rural city.
The break up of my own home group- and the dysfunction I suspected within my own Assembly- was about people struggling through the middle steps. When groups become full of dogma- with no content or direction. I have seen it in other organisations as well.
I schooled myself in the life of Lois W. In the origins of the movement. I visited to home of the founders in NY. I wept there tears of joy- and felt a profound sense of belonging to any group anywhere in the world.
My kids and grandkids have an opportunity- and a future my nieces and nephews seem to lack. I always wished otherwise. They have a father and a grand-dad who tried his best- to break the cycle of dysfunction and addiction.
Basically that is about showing up- and being there. For them and for myself.
I do this in Alanon too-I try to stick with what is healthy, wholesome,and true.
My HP does not show up when I need my HP.
My HP is with me 24/7... and I see my HP manifested in people around me- in Alanon, AA and other groups.
I have a Sil in Florida who is going through treatment- at the moment. Who has family members who care. And whom I will see this Christmas when they come over... I went to open meetings with her- and spent a lot of beach time with her- as she went through her pain and indecision.
I felt like I was on the right track and in the right place... just a feeling...
Charity does begin at home- and with our own home groups...
I hear people's testimonies- about being here online. Being with MIP Alanon... and the group being here with us.
I am beginning to move around the group a bit more-as I need to expand and to grow... as my awareness and my need to belong in the world is manifest.
It taps into the deep abiding love of my HP.
Sometimes words fail me- which is a good sign. Time to breathe- to pause- and to listen... ...
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there seem to be a lot of sub-groups here... and I don't read all of the threads...
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