The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's Courage to Change, the author shares that they first came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking. The author hoped that their life would them return to normal. Through time in Al-Anon, the author realized the 3 C's (We didn't cause our loved one to drink, we cannot control it, and we cannot cure it.) and how applying the 12 steps to their own life can lead to sanity and contentment, whether their loved one is still drinking or not.
While working the program, the author realized that, in their attempts to cope with the disease of alcoholism, they had made some unhealthy changes. These changes had happened so slowly and subtly that the author didn't even notice that they were happening. Through work in the Al-Anon program, the author slowly became aware of these changes, became willing to let go of attitudes that no longer seemed appropriate, and began to let go of elf-destructive habits.
Today's Reminder: I do not respond well when someone tries to impose their will on me; why have I tried to impose my will on those around me? There is only one person I am responsible for, and that is me. There is only one person who can make my life as full as possible- that, too, is me.
Today's Quote: "Today I will keep hands off and keep my focus where it belongs, on me."
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Today's reading is an important reminder for me of why I came to Al-Anon and why daily work in the program remains so important to me. I have found that, without constant vigilance, I tend to revert to old, unhealthy ways of thinking and being. Daily readings, MIP, and face to face meetings, and texting with Al-Anon friends are an important part of my recovery because they keep me grounded in the program, with my focus on myself and what I am doing.
I'm especially appreciative of this today, personally and professionally. At work, I was away on vacation last week, and there is so much catch-up to do, I would be overwhelmed if I focused on what everyone else wants me to be doing instead of focusing on what I know is the next most important/urgent thing. In my personal life, things are a bit complicated with me and my AW, as I realized that she wasn't just having short lived minor relapses, but was in a months-long, full fledged relapse. This was the first in several years, and I felt out-of-practice. Keeping the focus on myself allowed me to make decisions, have difficult conversations, and prepare to enforce my boundaries if I need to. I'm thankful to the program and to all of you for teaching me the tools I would need to make sure that I am progressing in a healthy direction, no matter what the alcoholic in my life does.
I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi I had no idea when I entered the rooms of alanon that I would be given tools to live by and instructed to focus on myself as i was powerless over others. What an awakening!!!!
I know that I felt so different after my first meeting that I kept coming back, picked up the tools and started my own recovery My denial was huge so that I needed to work the Steps a few times in order to uncover all my destructive attitudes and false beliefs I m so grateful that i kept coming back and urge others to do so as well
Thanks for your continued service and make it a great day
Good morning Skorpi and Betty - happy Hump Day! Thank you both for your shares and ESH. Thank you also Skorpi for your service and the daily. I am one who arrived hoping to fix/change others. I truly believed on some level that if they would just change, all would be well in my world.....simply not true and just more crazy-making in my own mind!
I heard the 3 C's at my first meeting. What a simple set of concepts that I had not considered. They stuck well and I repeated them often when I first arrived. I am not 100% certain what within me drove me to believe that I could change, control, cure another but I certainly did. Change in me was what was required for me to find freedom, serenity and joy again. So long as I stilled looked to others to change, I was stuck in denial and living in a fantasy land.
I am grateful that others who came before me were willing to share with me and show me the way. Al-Anon works when we work it and we are worth it! Make it a great day - we've got another lovely cool morning, but the temperatures are coming back! Golf later this afternoon/evening for me so a relaxing, productive day at home....(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Skorpi and for the above shares. This reading is my story for sure! Came to fix my A and didn't see how much I needed fixing. I didn't run into the 3 C's for a year or so when my sponsor shared it with me. My A has stopped drinking but is a dry drunk, very attached to her alcoholic behaviors. I need all the steps, MIP, my sponsor, my program friends, and my meetings f2f. It takes an army to keep me grounded, but thank God I have all of you, Lyne
Thank you Skorpi, and to all of those above who share their ESH.
What a great way to start of a new month! Grateful that you are all part of my journey.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
