The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the difference having a program can make in ones life. The writer describes a home life as angry and chaotic. Although the writers mother stopped actively drinking, she also never had a program, so the writer describes learning to enjoy the healthy parts of mom and leave the rest. He/she learned to work the program in order to have a serene home life.
This reading makes me consider the difference between how I felt in my first alanon meetings in comparison to my life now. When I first came to alanon I figured it would help me solve the riddle of the alcoholic- I would figure out how to fix this! Gradually I learned that wouldnt work (at all), so I started to try the program on as a way to live WITH the alcoholic. That didnt quite work either and I realized I was still putting all of my thoughts and energy into the alcoholic. When I started to see and experience the program as something just for me and my health, I began to feel the positive shift in my life. For many of us, focusing on ourselves goes against our instincts, but it is focusing on myself that has made the difference in my life.
I hope everyone enjoys a serene and peaceful Sunday:)
Thank you Mary. I can so relate to todays reading. Even before I left my support, the evidence of how much it helped me before showed around my parents and step dad. He too was an alcoholic, stopped in a treatment program and never went to recovery of any form. He was angry, depressed and yet I felt so sorry for him. I ended up living with my mom and step dad during my harvest season when driving my truck. It was tense at first but I was able to see the "real people" and real issues. I learned to love him and just do what I needed to do. If not for these programs, I would have missed the chance to get to know him and also missed the honor of being at his side with my mom over the months he was ill and dying. He was so abusive to my little brother before and after his drinking. Had I let those things get in the way instead of forgiveness and trying to understand my reactions towards his own illness.........I would have missed so much.
Good Morning Mary I can certainly identify with the "change in attitude" that i experienced as a result of practicing the alanon program and embracing the simple principles of living. like yourself I found that the support of like minded fellows invaluable to my mental health.
Thank you so much for your service and have a lovely day .
Good morning MIP. Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you also ladies for the ESH and shares.
There is no doubt how I see people, places, events and things have changed for me through recovery. Setting aside my ego and being teachable and willing has shown me how to truly forgive, love and accept - unconditionally. I too have used the tools to focus on what is working well instead of what I wish was different and it's given me new awareness of how HP works in my life and recovery.
I too came with an expectation of fixing my A(s)....I was not a happy camper when I discovered there was no fix for 'this'....yet, I saw genuine joy and peace in the eyes of those who came before me, and I was baffled how that could be. I listened, practiced and prayed. I did as suggested and found small moments of joy that had been missing for a long while.
I've come to realize that all is as it's supposed to be. I have choices each day and I am responsible for my peace and joy. I am grateful that Al-Anon has restored me to more sanity than before!! Happy Sunday all - off to my Sunday meeting in a bit and then the little people are coming over for a play date, swimming and more....enjoy!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning, Mary and thank you for your service. I can very much relate to your share. I came to this program looking for a fix, too. I thought surely in meetings I would find out how to fix my A. My surprise when I found out this is a program for ME. At first I resented the very idea I needed a program at all. I was so filled with anger at my A, pain and intense resentment. I felt he was the one who needed work, not me. Still, like IAH I wondered at and longed for the serenity, joy (and laughter) I saw in Al Anon's. I had found nothing to laugh at in so long.
When I embrace this as a program for my own health and happiness, I begin to have hope. By slowly working it I feel freedom and peace I haven't had in a long time. My days are far from perfect but I no longer feel overwhelmed. I'm releasing the intense anger and fear. And I am able to laugh and have joy in every day. For me these are huge changes and relief!! I thankful to have found a program to work, that works for me.
Have a happy rest of your weekend, all!
Good morning MIP! Hot one today, but not as hot as the past 2 days!
I am going to do some self-care by staying inside and relaxing! I had a set-back yesterday that really threw me for a loop. I may write about it later. But coming on here and reading the posts today really brought me out of the funk I was in!
Thank you to all who have posted & shared, and thank you, Mary for posting the daily... it really helps me each day!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I would travel across a busy city- to hear this message, and to see friendly faces...
I reading I have read four or five times before- along with ODAT and Courage to Change... and just getting the same messages over and over... daily reminders...
I am sitting on a motel- near the sea- after spending time with friends- doing weekend work, and socialising... today ah kin hold my own- with tough guys. Or guys with tough exteriors. But also tap into the sensitivity beneath- in a very significant way.
Tough people generally- people hard to reach. People like myself. Taking care of me is not selfish and self centred at all! It gives me a base to operate from. A place to be- and a place to shine, in good company!
...