The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The CTC reading For July 7 speaks about how conflicts can surface in every interaction because there is a possibility of confrontation. The reading goes on to say that prior to program we thought it was important to assign blame over issues. This attitude can instill anger and make us defensive and anxious because we want to make sure that our backs are covered.
Al-Anon helps us to understand that disputes arise even when everybody's doing their best. Obsessively reviewing the behavior of others focuses attention where it doesn't not belong and causes us to surrender our serenity. We must stop and Consider the part we played andadmit when we have made mistakes. We are free to make amends it is important to understand that conflicts does not indicate that someone is wrong . Difficulties may arise because sometimes people simply disagree.
The reading suggests that it is important to understand that life has conflict. Everything is happening just as it should. . Quote is from J Holland; " The mind grows on what it feeds on.
H Lu I love the quote My mind once feed on negative judgmental self pitying thoughts. Today, thanks to program and he steps i focus on prayer, the slogans, the beauty around me and alanon principles . What a difference!!! Thanks for your service Hope you have a grand day
Good morning MIP! Thank you LU for the daily and your service. Thank you and Betty for your shares and ESH!
I know for me and my program, the blame game is no longer allowed. I spent literal years before recovery looking outside myself for blame for a variety of reasons, most, if not all - pointless, counter-productive and unhealthy. Today, I am grateful to accept I am not responsible for anyone but me. If there is a disagreement, I do what I can to keep my side of the street clean, respond with grace and honor and allow others to be who they are. I am willing to make amends when necessary and just do the best I can to avoid (not engage) in drama, chaos, insanity and controlling -- all of which were entrenched habits for defending owning my own stuff.
I have heard in recovery that what we allow our mind to focus on is what grows. What I love about Al-Anon is we are reminded that daily gratitude and asset lists are simple tools yet for me - very profound. No matter what I am processing, remembering what I am grateful for and what gifts I've been given help me process more realistically and positively.
Happy Saturday to one and all....won all 4 games this week @ softball which helps offset (in my mind) the horrid golf game I had earlier in the week. I readily admit that I so prefer team sports as WE win together or NOT...when a team gels well, we accept either with grace and dignity. I am off to a meeting, then an oil change, then a few errands - we are having a lovely, unusual cool weekend - windows are open and fresh air is appreciated!
Make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks LU and everyone. I realized that for many years I blamed myself, and then for the last 20+ years I blamed my A. Alanon is teaching me a healthier and more productive way to live. I learned that our thoughts determine our feelings, so if stuck in a negative frame of mind, all I'm going to have is negativity. I can still slip back for a short amount of time, but I'm a work in progress! Lyne
