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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> The Program is Paying Off at Work
Post Info TOPIC: The Program is Paying Off at Work
tiredtonite


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The Program is Paying Off at Work
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Today the folks in the next department had a b'day party for one of their coworkers. I've only been at the company a very short time but this gal has gotten pretty friendly with me. She was friendly with the gal who filled my job before me and tried to help her with my nutty supervisor. If you've been following my posts, you know there's been an ongoing hr investigation going on because of a situation between my boss and me. The folks in the next dept. were all brought in and questioned about what they heard and saw.

Well today I was invited to the b'day party for this gal I've gotten to know by her coworkers in the same dept, the dept that was brought into hr to answer questions. They didn't invite my boss, just me. I only stayed a short time but it really took the edge off for me. I don't know what anyone said to hr aside from the b'day gal who told me everything she told hr from a long history of witnessing her behavior and a few personal experiences with her as well. I didn't stay long because my boss would have been wondering where I went and when they offered to give me cake on a b'day plate I refused it. I know it would have only caused my boss to act out in jealousy because it's something she does and also result in her working extra hard in the days ahead to get positive attention from the people in this dept. But when I went back to my dept. I decided I should have something!  I went back down the hall and knocked on the party room door and told them I decided I could do a cookie with no paper b'day plate. They all lol. 

So considering my boss never introduced me to anyone, has never sent out a welcome about me to anyone whom I contact daily, I'm still making friends. Others have welcomed me by email on their own. When I feel inclined and feel I know who most of my contacts are, I will send out an email introducing myself. I remember a former coworker did that at my last workplace when she was new. It was a great way to let others get to know her. Some of it was information and some just fun facts about her. I don't need my boss to introduce me. I can ask my hp's help who knows me best and put something together when I'm ready. 

Thanks for letting me share with you and for the wisdom, encouragement and support as I find my way in this new work situation. ((hugs)) TT

 



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Freetime


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TT, I love how you decided to take a cookie! Great solution! You could enjoy a treat but not cause trouble for yourself. I am glad you are being welcomed by other co-workers. It sure makes the job more pleasant, doesn't it?

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Iamhere


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(((TT))) - so, so cool to hear that in spite of the boss, you're fitting in at the job. I believe that actions speak volumes and you being invited and going and taking that cookie are all what I call healthy choices!! Keep doing you - you're wearing recovery well!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
PosiesandPuppies


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What a wonderful update to this ongoing "saga!" I absolutely LOVED how you took your power in your hands by getting that cookie!! I also liked how the whole department LOL'd at that b/c they know how you supervisor is!!!

Thanks for keeping us updated! Keep doing you... it looks Mahvelos, dahling!

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"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Lyne


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There are so many situations that can feel unbearable, with family, at work, with friends, etc. Program is with me wherever I go. It helps me on a daily basis. I wish everyone had program. I think the world would be a much better place. Keep up the good work at your job, Lyne

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Lyne
tiredtonite


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That is for sure (((lyne)) We're darn lucky to have a recovery program even if painful experience is what got us here. It can be such a help in so many situations. Thanks for sharing. TT



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Tude


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Another great share and I am one watching the saga unfold as well. We truly are fortunate to have this program. Especially when we see those in the "condition" your boss is in. I just hope I handle tough situations half as well as you have and are!

Hugs!

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mamalioness


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Hey TT...Loved how you snagged a cookie, no plate to be cool and "under the radar" so to speak...and yea, folks will and are seeing you for the nice person you are and I'm sure people see through the boss from hell

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

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wp


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Hi TT :) I've been offline (literally) for weeks, so I wasn't aware of your new job situation. So proud of you in every way. Thanks for sharing!
See you soon in room I hope. pw aka wp lol

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tiredtonite


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Thanks (((everyone))) for the lovely things you've said and continued support. I am really trying to make the best of what feels like a very unstable situation. I'm taking it ODAAT and trying to find those gratitude moments. I learned this week that quite a few people were hired before me for this position and quit the job. The person before me constantly reported my boss. My boss has somehow survived all of those complaints. I'm leaning on my hp and just trying to keep my head above water. Every day I build on my Plan B (exit plan) a little more, applying to other positions, asking questions of a new friend/coworker about company operations and opportunities. It's nervewracking but I find ways to get away from my boss when I can so I can be left in peace. She is doing everything possible to isolate me from my extended network of coworkers, push me down with her remarks and actions. It must take a lot of energy to be that miserable. I'm beginning to feel pity for her. I'm looking forward to time off this week and am looking into fun things to do then. It's hard though guys, I keep having to take a breath and regroup after the weekend. Thanks for the encouragement and wisdom. ((hugs)) TT 



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PosiesandPuppies


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Yes, it sounds like this situation is exhausting! At the very least, knowing what you know about the previous employees (emphasis on the plural here) should validate that it's not you (I know you know that, but we sometimes keep falling back into old thoughts).
Just keep doing what you are doing...you seem very aware that you need to regroup each weekend. Hugs!

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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Iamhere


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TT - agree with PnP - it does sound exhausting. I love that you are taking action where you can and when you can. Having faith during challenging times isn't always easy yet I see you holding on to the program, the tools and action.....I'm still sending you tons of positive thoughts and prayers!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
SerenityRUS


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BIg hugs TT .. this too shall pass .. it will be ok :)

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mamalioness


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Hey TT. I sure can relate to the boss from hell. I was working for this client on every other Wednesday and she was so bad she tried to control my usage of the restroom and when it was time for me to drink my shake and take my 10 minute break she would demand to know what work I did while I was drinking my shake, she was so bad I would walk out of there and finally I got a belly full on 13 June she crossed the line with the restroom humiliation and the taking my break which I posted about here I think on one of my returning to the board here posts I told the story of what she did, the final insult, and I just got up at 2 PM and gathered up my stuff, visited with her children for a minute or so, walked out the door, and I think she knew she had messed up because she yelled thank you to me as I was walking to my vehicle but I had made up my mind that I was going to leave. I did not have a replacement client but I just refused to let fear run my life anymore and I just decided let the chips fall where they may, I am out of here. So I journaled a few Draft texts of what I was going to say to her in a text and I finally after a few days, was able to send her a very brief but oh very so effective text as to why I could no longer have her as a client. It felt good, quitting on my terms, telling her what she did to me and how it was unacceptable. Yes I was a bit nervous and worried as I didnt have a replacement for her but my other Wednesday client, I think is going to want a bit more of me. So I am going to be OK. As long as I am putting out good energy I can have faith in the universe and my higher power that I am going to be OK and so far I am.

I know mine was just a two times a month deal and yours is a full-time deal and yes that is different. You have to, if youre like most Americans, have to have a replacement job lined up so you can walk out give your notice etc. Ive been there where I worked full-time for a horrible boss and I just had to suck it up until I could find a replacement but I finally did and I was able to just walk away. There are some people who are just not fit to work with others. They are just not acceptable people in that they are so toxic and poisonous to be around. I am sending you good and new job mojo for your next adventure which I am sure will be much happier. You are a decent soul and you deserve to be able to work and support yourself and be reasonably happy where you are.

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

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DavidG


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 smile Nice topic, TT...

                            I always found that work situations were a bit easier to understand than family. But I was working in a father-son situation- and that bought family back into the arena... liked your share, my friend- it gives me hope... aww ...



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tiredtonite


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Thanks for your support (((serenityRUS))) yep, This too shall pass. Something will always shake out. Am hoping for the positive.

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tiredtonite


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Thanks ((((Rose)))) for sharing your experience with a whacky boss. I really felt understood. OMG timed bathroom breaks. My boss goes to lunch at the same time and passed me while I was working on something and reminded me of my lunch and said"You usually go at this time.." I kept working and said I'll get to it." Another day she had to take lunch early. She came back at a time that was typically just fifteen minutes into my usual lunchtime. I was looking at the internet. She then walked to her desk and called to me, "Are you still at lunch?" When I said that I was, she wanted to know what time I would be back lol. Now let me be clear, the lunch is a half hour. Thanks for your continued support. I'm doing my best to detach yet hold the line concerning professional and personal boundaries. You're response made me cry and lol at the same time. I'm not the only one going through this sort of garbage with a boss. Thanks for that. To lol about it helps to bring the stress level down. TT

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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
tiredtonite


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Thanks (((David))) Appreciate the support. I think that mix of family and business can make it really tough for an employee who is not family.I would think no matter who is your boss. everybody thinks they have a right to boss you around. Thanks for sharing your experience and the recovery journey here with me. TT

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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
tiredtonite


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Thanks (((PnP))) I appreciate what you said about falling back into old thoughts. I really do have to keep reminding myself I don't need to be fearful of the power this supervisor has over my future employment and then react to her behavior rather than respond to it. I can see since Alanon that I have always been taken care of by my higher power. It was something I was incapable of seeing before working this program. My life was lived in reaction to other not through thoughtful actions with a basis in what I wanted, what I felt, what I needed. I don't have to fear that "not responding" to her behavior exhibits to her that I feel in a one down position. I really don't know what she thinks or doesn't. My hp knows what she thinks and doesn't and is taking care of me. To just keep going forward with the next right action in a way that exhibits maturity, respect and professionalism is all I can do. More will be revealed. TT



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
tiredtonite


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Thanks (((Iamhere))) for sharing such valuable Alanon tools and for your continuing support. All positive thougthts and prayers much appreciated! TT



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