The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nture of our wrongs. The writer mentions how difficult this step was because of shame for the defects and shortcomings, and distrust that anyone else could accept a person with a step five list such as this. In the writers case, an alanon friend offered to bear witness and sat and went through the list, adding positive traits and perceptions of how this persons was seen.
This reading reminds of my early work with my sponsor, when part of my writing was a list of character defects, balanced out with positive traits. It helped me remember that I am a whole person; Im not 100% bad or good! I like the message from the Thought for the Day- that step five is an invitation to leave the emotional prison we can be trapped in; we can instead choose recovery and working the steps is a great part of that.
I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday and happy Fathers Day to all who are celebrating!
Good Morning Mary Step 5 certainly did appear formidable when i first began this journey. Naturally when i reached this step I had begun to feel comfortable iwith my alnon community, had found a sponsor that i trusted and felt anxious to share this Step with another . Admitting what i was doing that "HURT ME" to myself was the most difficult process because my denial was very strong and I had many attitudes that needed to change. Love how this Step insists that we also list our positive traits. In the beginning I also found that hard to do but after much prompting and soul searching I did find a few. Thanks for your service and have a lovely day
Thank you, Mary, for your service. I was certainly apprehensive about steps 4 and 5, and then was pleasantly surprised after working them. It reminds me of the saying "the truth will set you free." After taking an inventory of my assets and defects, I had the truth about how my defects had worked against my own happiness... and that has been a good basis for recovery.
Thanks for your service, Mary, and the ESH above. I just finished my 5th step yesterday :) I feel relieved of some of the burden I've been carrying along for a long time. The acceptance of my sponsor of my shortcomings and old shame and everything else means so much. Also through telling another person all that was in my inventory I feel like I also told that myself, somehow, because telling it all out loud I saw more about myself than when I was writing it. Some negative traits crop up all over the inventory and I didn't see it all that clearly before. I'm glad its done, it wasn't a pleasant experience, but I feel its worth it. Another perspective on some things that my sponsor provided also was helpful.
Thank you Mary for the daily and your service. Thanks to all above me for your ESH and shares. I know that the first step 5 I did was overwhelming....until it wasn't. I have done the steps a few times and each time, there is a reluctance to share my 'dirty laundry with another'....yet - I know most of my growth has come from practicing all the tools and working the steps and I am willing to be honest if it helps me heal and grow.
Happy Father's Day to all - hope your day has been awesome!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
we have father's day here, in September... but any day is a good day to celebrate parents...!
Uplifting shame can take time- but it is time worth while... I do not ever regret my first step... and these preparations made the fifth step much easier- as it should be... letting go is a gift... obtained through awareness in steps 2 and 3... ...
negotiating the "list" ...which always seemed to get longer and longer... shortening the list got me into the present moment- a feat! A gift...! A miracle... ... ...
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