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Good morning MIP Family - Happy Thursday....Today's reading talks about Step 12 and all that is received as one works recovery. Al-Anon gives us an understanding of this disease, tools to change our lives, courage to use them and a safe place to share and hear ESH.
Many of us want recovery for our family and friends too and possibly try to 'manage', 'encourage', 'drag' others along the journey. Yet, we realize in time that the 12th Step isn't about preaching or dragging others to a better way - it is instead about being an example for others by practicing these principles in all our affairs. We are a program of attraction rather than promotion, and often the best way to carry the message is just by doing recovery!
Today's reminder -- It's only natural to want to share what works for me with those I love. But when I must share it now, I may be more interested in changing others than in sharing my experience, strength, and hope. If I am insistent on carrying the message, I can work on improving the message my own example conveys.
Today's quote -- "We ought not to insist on everyone following in our footsteps, nor to take upon ourselves to give instructions in spirituality when, perhaps, we do not even know what it is." from Teresa of Avila
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We often talk in recovery (in my area) about the 'pink cloud' affect - generally when one has been attending meetings, sharing and listening to ESH and 'sees' or 'feels' hope for the first time in a long while. The mind is clearer and there is some relief from the disease and diseased. For me, this pink cloud brought about a new level of insanity in that I truly did want others to want what I was experiencing and feeling and hoping and ... I recall vividly wondering why everyone on Earth did not use the 12 Steps to grow spiritually and find some peace of mind!!
It took me a long while to realize that each person placed on Earth has their own journey and higher power and it's not me. That which works for me may or may not speak to another, and the best service I can provide to others around me is to practice humility, recovery and grace. I have always loved that Al-Anon is a gentle program, and most of us realize that new members have been beaten down by this disease. I love that we allow each member an equal footing in all things recovery and there are no 'experts'.
There are many miracles in recovery and most happen with absolutely no input from me! We always discuss carrying the message vs. the person - one is healthy while the other - not so much.
I hope everyone has an awesome day - going to be hot, hot, hot today here - work around the house and then softball tonight! Golf early tomorrow....(((Hugs)))
-- Edited by Iamhere on Thursday 14th of June 2018 06:58:13 AM
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning IAH Great reading and reminder. When i first entered program and read the 12 Steps I felt they were an impossible challenge until I reached the 12th and read :"Having had a Spiritual Awakening" as a result of these steps". I immediately stopped in my tracks and realized the promise that these Steps delivered ----If I worked the Steps I would have a Spiritual Awakening . How great is that- I would receive something that would help me live my life, that I did not already posse. I decided then and there to keep coming back and working the program.
Love how the reading in C2C suggests that carrying the message to others can and should be done through EXAMPLE and not by " preaching at others. Practicing these principles in all our affairs is indeed a true gift of program and one I am so pleased to have embraced .
Good Luck a the game tonght and thanks so much for your service.
Good Morning MIP family. Thank you IAH for your service and the great step 12 reminder. Appreciate those who gave ESH shares before me. I remember my dear high school government teacher telling us that a true leader never has to announce themselves because their actions define them. I passed on this information to both our sons as they grew.
I seemingly was so busy trying to keep everyone afloat amid the disease of active alcoholism that I missed putting on my own life preserver. Thanks to Al anon and HP I was tossed a life line which I gratefully grabbed after exhaustion from treading water against the current. ODAT I work on me now with a better tool box, safe instruction book and the guidance of HP. Beautiful day in the neighborhood today, doing a little housework and enjoying the nice breeze coming in the window.
-- Edited by Stan1 on Thursday 14th of June 2018 10:02:04 AM
Thank you IAH. Great message and great advice for us all. I am still learning my way and it is hard tp not want to share this journey and the blessings I am finding, but as advised through step 12 we must be careful in not preaching to others while sharing. I realize I do that a lot and have a lot of work to do in this area. I especially do this with my AH. I realized it yesterday when he was feeling down after a comment made by our teen son and us going to marriage counselor. I found myself taking a "tone" and explaining "why" the response came out as it did from our son and from watching my AH expression I could tell I was "talking at him" I immediately apologized and let him I know that I realized what I was doing and that I am trying to unlearn this behavior. I think I like many affected by the disease of alcoholism sometimes think or act like we are better than the A because we are not alcoholics. But I know for me, I have had not so great moments or reactions as well. So in working the steps I can learn to use the gifts and tools of my recovery to love and support others on their journey. Having a good day. Got some housework and yardwork done. Going to a marriage counseling session and then off to a f2f meeting. Hope you all have a great day too.
(((Kat))) - Yay to the counseling and the meeting! Please be gentle with you as we're all about progress and not perfection. I know that I had to make many amends when I started recovery as I was so used to telling others what to do, how to do it, when to do it, etc.....my controlling 'tendency' came from a place of good intentions yet was still over-bearing, offensive to others and I could also see them 'shut down'.
What's in my signature - the pause - has been very helpful. I also lean deeply into healthy reactions - I'm sorry you are feeling ............... and/or I will pray for you or how can I be of service? I don't say help any more as that was 'code' word in my house for enable so I use service to remind me to be of service vs. doing for others what they should do for themselves.
I can readily admit today that I tend to avoid the controllers in the meetings I go to and instead hang with the serene people. They are the ones with a sparkle in the eyes, a smile of their face and typically listening instead of talking....it's worked well for me to learn how to just listen and not plan what I should/need to be/say/do. I do believe we can share our recovery journey in covert ways. When my non-recovery friends are anxious, struggling, unhappy, projecting, crazy, etc. I always remind them ODAT or Let go and Let God. I throw out Al-Anon slogans to anyone I believe can benefit from them...so - there are ways to share our journey and experience without dragging others along....I think it's all a God thing - but what do I know? Ha.ha....make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
